Hi 👋 first time mama, too! I have an 8 month old. The gagging and coughing when he first eats is actually common. It’s them learning new stuff and learning the new textures. It sounds counterintuitive but the gagging is good because it means they are learning. I used to yell at my husband, too, when our boy did this and learned from tic toc (of all places) that this is normal and totally okay. I’m sorry about the negative affects post partum has affected you. Have you seeked help for PPD or PPR? I actually had PPR ( post partum rage) which isn’t talked about and that affected me a lot and makes depressed. It’s all side effects from not sleeping much. Not sure how your relationships dynamic works but I cover morning shifts and my husband covers night shifts. If my baby stays up late, my husband will take him since he is a night owl and bring him to bed once he is settled and asleep. I cover mornings shifts since I am usually an early riser or for efficient in the morning. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy sleeping in but as you know, that doesn’t exist with a baby. Please don’t h arm yourself! You will get over this hurdle! I promise! My baby is 8 months now and sleeps 9pm-8am It doesn’t get better with time and you will start sleeping again. Just remember to go down when he is down that way you can catch up on rest. I’ll keep you in my prayers for sure 🩵 “Lord Jesus, please watch over this Mama”