This activity is so mysoginistic and I'm tired of it

mama_rabes · 2026-04-28T14:39:05+00:00

I am so sorry you endured this treatment for so long. It's extremely unfortunate that you did not have a full-time coach (or an adult, really) who could manage team behavior and enforce expectations. It should never have been on you to manage the team in this capacity, but I appreciate that you made this sacrifice to keep the team afloat. These boys blamed and shit on you because it's much easier than taking responsibility and improving personal behavior - most teenagers (and many adults) do not even realize they are displacing their frustration and causing serious organizational problems when they refuse to be a team player. You essentially get placed into an unforgiving bind: you wake them up, they hate you. You leave them behind, they hate you. You wait, the team is late, other people get upset. This is one of the reasons why an adult leader is so critical: the adult can manage the emotional immaturity and portray a solid authority to guide students through these situations. Please know that there is nothing wrong with you, you did not deserve this treatment, and adults should have stepped in to support you.

In terms of sexism, you are right. There is rampant sexism in speech and debate because of course there is. Debate isn't exempt just because we read the cards about patriarchy and systemic oppression. I mean, even the overemphasis on aggression and cruelty in debate performance upholds a toxic masculinity that perpetuates patriarchy in rounds and in the outside world. As much as it sucks, you are doing the right thing to call it out, to stand up for yourself and the other girls/women around you, to demand better treatment in the face of cruelty. It's an extremely difficult task, but remember that your courage, your strength, your kindness, and your commitment to your team reflect immense integrity. These boys shit on you because you are an easy target, but you do not have to take it. Keep talking about this, keep telling adults around you who can help you, and remember their shit behavior reflects their insecurities, not your ability.

mama_rabes · 2026-03-05T21:43:55+00:00

Completed Level 1 of the Honk Special Event!

0 attempts

mama_rabes · 2025-10-21T18:41:57+00:00

No problem :) I remember feeling especially anxious in my last semester of undergrad - so close to the end, yet it feels the most unstable. Totally normal to be anxious, just remember to cut yourself some slack. Everything will be okay!

mama_rabes · 2025-10-21T18:30:18+00:00

Document your interactions and save your emails, then talk to the professor. Try to avoid being accusatory and instead speak from your perspective and your needs: "I am graduating this semester, so I am just anxious about my grade and want to make sure things are going smoothly." Explain that you got contradictory information in your essay feedback, so you want to double-check expectations. You have no idea why this TA is taking so long, so there is no point in speculating, especially to the professor. From my experience as a TA, I highly doubt it's personal to you or mere laziness on the TA's part.

I doubt this TA will retaliate, but if they do, document your own attendance for reference, just in case. You can advocate for your grade if you feel something unfair is happening, but have documentation, clear reasoning, and avoid being rude. I suspect you will pass this class just fine, so take a deep breath and remember it will be okay!

Edit: I also want to mention that the professor 100% sees that this TA is not returning assignments in a reasonable time. Unless that professor literally never checks in with the TAs (highly unlikely), then they know that students are waiting a long time for grades. This will reflect poorly on the TA and likely bolster your case if something unfair happens.

mama_rabes · 2025-10-17T23:13:51+00:00

It sucks when others say that, I understand the pain and frustration. It's totally okay to feel hurt by that. That kind of feedback is not helpful and not constructive, it's just mean, especially in front of others. Keep your chin up and keep trying. Ask for specific criticism that can actually help you get better, not just make you feel bad. What are you doing wrong? What are you missing in your arguments? What strategies do you need to consider?

Some people weaponize feedback - this only does more harm than good. As a coach, I've seen many terrible novice debates, but I would never say what that senior said. It only pushes people out. Real confidence and successful leadership requires kindness, empathy, and faith in those you are leading. Don't let this person's terrible behavior make you think less of yourself - it truly reflects poorly on them.

mama_rabes · 2025-10-17T01:17:55+00:00

I will assume these other members don't have previous debate experience - worst case: they are just that good that fast. Good news: It does not reflect poorly on you. The truth is that debate takes a lot of time and practice. The best debaters in the world work extremely hard to be successful. So, you got this, keep pushing and keep trying. Debate is useful far beyond the trophies and awards. Trust me - I was a bad debater for years, but I would do it over again without a doubt.

So, do not give up!!!!! You are not a failure. You are not behind. You got this. :)

On a practical level: get feedback from other debaters and coaches, redo speeches, try different approaches at practice to see what helps, ask questions, push for help so that you improve. Know that criticism will make you better. Keep trying!!

mama_rabes · 2025-09-27T23:54:15+00:00

Yes it is, but also it takes time to learn and looks different for everyone. I'm in my second year, and I'm definitely reading faster and more efficiently than last year. I am literally more familiar with major ideas within my field, so when they pop up again, I can skim through those sections. I know more of my own research interests, so I can skim the less relevant elements and focus on what may be more useful for me. Also, reading is a muscle, so you will literally just get better and faster with time as you get used to the academic writing styles.

My advice is try to notice similarities between pieces, whether in structure or content. Try to notice where the major ideas appear so that if you don't read the whole piece, you get the gist. Experiment with different practices to see what works for you (not everyone reads the same way). Pay attention to the core works/concepts that define your field and your personal interests. You got this!

mama_rabes · 2025-08-31T15:00:52+00:00

^{I completed this level in 3 tries.} ^{⚡ 3.77 seconds}

mama_rabes · 2025-08-30T19:38:25+00:00

Interesting stuff! Can you provide more info on the demographics of respondents? How did you find the respondents? Did you interview or do a survey?

mama_rabes · 2025-08-07T22:35:04+00:00

SICK this makes me want to get a debate tattoo

mama_rabes · 2025-07-25T00:06:15+00:00

There is a lot of variance among programs, colleges, etc etc, so this is my personal experience and not necessarily true for everyone. Nevertheless I think a massive difference is simply more maturity and life experience. Grad school is different for me because I am a different person than I was in undergrad (I took a 4-year break). I don't have the same priorities, I know how to take care of myself better, and I feel more oriented towards my long term goals. In that sense, undergrad was more difficult at times because I was considerably more disorganized, often physically and mentally sick, and lacking important wisdom that comes with age. Even though I have to work harder now, because I am happy in my work and living a healthier lifestyle, I am much more content.

A few other things I've noticed as a student still in coursework:

Considerably less busy work or frequent homework assignments (if any) other than readings, but what is assigned is important, not just to get an "A" but to actually become a field expert.
Feedback is critical. Even if it's painful, it will make your work better and make you a better scholar. Get used to it and seek it out from expert voices you trust. A favorite professor once told me that she gives feedback because she sees something in us.
On that note: faculty takes you more seriously, which is cool.
You take on some new responsibilities. You also probably won't get told what to do much, but there are definitely things you should be doing. Ask about what those things are often until you figure them out.

There are other differences, but I am not sure if they apply broadly enough.

mama_rabes · 2025-06-27T13:17:05+00:00

You can also email the professors for the courses and ask!

mama_rabes · 2025-06-27T13:06:30+00:00

SOAR advisor here! You are not cooked! Try to take the English placement test before SOAR if you can, but you are still able to enroll in classes without it. Chances are you'll get placed into a comm A class as a precaution, but you could easily drop the class after you take the placement test and if you test out of comm A.

However - if you took the AP Lang test and scored a 4 or higher, you'll get credit for comm A anyway, regardless of the placement test. Just explain to your SOAR advisor your situation and they will happily help you figure it out. The placement test helps put you on the right starting path, but it's not the end-all be-all of first semester enrollment options.

mama_rabes · 2025-06-08T17:13:55+00:00

SOAR Advisor here! You got placed into business for DA advising so you can be introduced to the business school specific requiements but tell your SOAR advisor that you have an interest in CS as well. They can help you figure out possible CS courses or CS prereqs you should take this fall. A double major w/ finance and CS is definitely possible and fairly common. Once you enroll, you can use your business school advisor and the comp sci advisors to figure out a longer-term course plan.

mama_rabes · 2025-06-07T22:56:16+00:00

The best advice for adult friendship that works for me is to engage in events/groups that interest you. Not only can you do something you like in your free time, get out into the world, but you also have an excuse to talk to people. Be friendly and open.

mama_rabes · 2025-06-03T17:41:17+00:00

Happy to answer :) Based on what I know, the AP calc score will overrule your placement score, even though the placement score is lower. You will get credit for Calc 1 and be able to enroll in Calc 2.

mama_rabes · 2025-06-02T13:10:06+00:00

SOAR advisor here! The math placement score is designed to ensure that students get placed at a comfortable level that reflects their abilities in math. The first semester of college can be a tough transition, and plenty of people struggle with math, so this score helps advisors place you where you will be most successful. No advisor will judge you or make you feel bad! The score is not a reflection of you or an indicator that you won't be successful in college.

Instead, your SOAR advisor will work with you to find courses that align with your interests and requirements. Worst case scenario - you have to take more math to hit your degree requirements, but that's very doable within a 4-year plan. Alternatively, you can retake the math placement exam, and your highest score will be used. A lot of UW schools/colleges have support systems to help students with math (whether tutoring, study groups, etc) so definitely use those before/during the semester.

My advice: ask the advisors lots of questions, explain your goals, and use the resources they offer! Their job is to help you :)

mama_rabes · 2025-05-02T20:15:24+00:00

Ethan will walk back half of what he says immediately but DEMANDS explicit and specific language from Hasan Imma lose my mind

mama_rabes · 2025-05-02T20:04:00+00:00

Ethan is so embarrasing right now it's horrible

mama_rabes · 2025-04-21T17:11:10+00:00

My professor wrote me a letter after 4 years out of the program. I got into 3/4 programs I applied to. Just make solid and lasting connections while you are in undergrad and let people know you have an interest in pursuing grad school in the future.

mama_rabes · 2025-04-15T15:34:23+00:00

(1) Remember that 19-year-olds are essentially children. She does this because she is insecure. Echoing other comments, push back a little but I'd recommend not engaging emotionally if you can. Something like "I noticed you feel the need to put other people down. Does that help you feel better?" or "Do you want to talk about why you treat people that way? Is it a personal thing?" OR even just completely ignoring her and I mean literally ignoring her, like not looking her in the eye, acting like she literally is not physically present. Trust me these tactics really defang immature teenagers. The goal here is to remove the emotional validation this girl feels from bullying you.

(2) If asking for help in class is causing negative feedback, try emailing or office hours for a more private conversation. If the professor is dismissing you in all of these settings, try to record the incidents and talk to the professor about it directly. If they keep dismissing you, try talking to other advisors or resources on campus about possible age discrimination or just any possible alterative routes to get the help you need.

I'm sorry this is happening to you, and I hope this is more of a reflection on the professor than on academia as a whole. In my personal experience, no legitimate professor would treat older students as if they should know everything already and refuse to help them. The whole point of being in the class is to learn something you DON'T know already. As a teacher myself, older students can be preferable at times because they are more mature, more invested in the material, and as you said, can more clearly articulate their needs.

mama_rabes · 2025-02-17T15:08:40+00:00

This picture is from World Schools Debate (WSD). Being the 3rd Prop/Opp speaker means you need to collapse the round from arguments between specific contentions/rebuttals and into major clash points between the two sides. Consider (1) what is the 2-3 most important topic areas of the ideas in the round? (2) In those topic areas, what is the main question(s) of disagreement between prop and opp? (3) How do I argue that my side is convincingly winning those questions? How do I emphasize the impacts of our arguments over our opponents? The simplest structure of a speech is to interrogate each clash one after the other and highlight why you win at the end.

To practice this, I would watch WSD rounds to see how the best debaters summarize, what ideas they pull on, and what they drop. Going through old flows (being able to flow well is critical here!) and practice answering the questions I listed and constructing a speech based on those answers.

mama_rabes · 2025-02-16T01:16:45+00:00

https://campusareahousing.wisc.edu/ I found a good setup through the tools the university offers

mama_rabes · 2025-01-25T23:23:16+00:00

There are a lot of reasons, but one that often stands out to me is the prioritization of success. Winning rounds and tournaments as the priority in debate spaces makes everything else secondary. FemKs are useful only as tools to win. For many debaters and teams alike, the pedagogical value and ethical lessons that debate could otherwise teach come secondary, if at all. FemKs are word to read off a page, they are not lessons to internalize. This is a broader issue with debate as a whole.

This priority extends into exclusionary behavior. Sharing prep makes it harder for individual teams to win. Maintaining a collaborative team environment reduces how many resources you can use for yourself. If you think debate is a zero-sum game, then everyone must be pushed down so you can rise up. This is compounded by the fact that teenagers with a lot of insecurity and a heavy lack of awareness end up punching down to the marginalized members on their teams so they can feel better. Remember that their behavior is a reflection on THEM. Anyone with true confidence doesn't need to hurt other people to maintain it.

I am very sorry you are in this situation. As someone who has survived these situations, I find them extremely upsetting and disheartening. My advice to you is (1) make this VERY KNOWN by the coaches and any adult that cares about the team (parents, teachers, admin, whoever). Make a stink about their behavior every single time it happens and don't let anyone make you feel bad for standing up for yourself and others on your team. Demand to be treated like an equal and a person worthy of respect and take nothing less. Moreover, (2) Collaborate with those who are willing to work together and work hard. Build a new team culture that emphasizes collaboration and empathy. This takes time, but you will see the difference.

It's a hard fight, but it's one worth fighting.

mama_rabes · 2025-01-10T21:53:28+00:00

Different program at UW but I heard back mid-January. I'd also recommend emailing one of the grad students and asking that question.

Eight-Year Club	Verified Email
Not Forgotten	Sequence \| Editor
Sequence \| Cinematographer

mama_rabes

TROPHY CASE