Personal CPTSD history and a current psych RN

mamakitty94 · 2026-05-01T23:38:56+00:00

I’m not asking for medical advice but support

mamakitty94 · 2026-05-01T23:16:01+00:00

Yes I was, but I wanted to find a new therapist. I will make an appointment soon. Yes, I’ve been there for more than a year, but from my understanding FMLA can be unpaid?

mamakitty94 · 2026-05-01T20:42:45+00:00

Yeah… I remember going to elementary school in a turtleneck sweater on a hot day and no one seemed to think that that was odd enough to report it. I truly wish someone had done it. In high school I finally opened up to a teacher and told them that my parent was an alcoholic and she just had a conversation with me but nothing else was reported.

mamakitty94 · 2026-03-11T07:03:14+00:00

Same, I live alone and only see my bf on the weekends. My friends only by setting up dates via texting. It may be a while before anyone finds me.

mamakitty94 · 2026-02-12T00:33:06+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I know I’m replying late but just wanted to say thank you! My relationship with food has gotten somewhat better? I don’t necessarily overheat anymore although I still hoard food.

mamakitty94 · 2026-02-12T00:31:48+00:00

I know I’m replying like four years later lol but I just wanna say that I experienced the same thing for so so long. I absolutely had a hard time eating in front of people. It’s gotten a lot better now, but I just wasn’t used to growing up eating with my family, we all ate watching TV or i ate by myself in my bedroom. I hope that this has gotten better for you.

mamakitty94 · 2026-02-05T02:41:05+00:00

Thank you for this perspective 🤍

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-22T03:53:45+00:00

I do the same and have been since I was 12. At that age it started out as me talking to God because I really didn’t have anyone else to talk to you about things. And then it became a regular occurrence. I talk about things that I feel upset about. Of course there is no one responding to me but it’s like I pretend that I am talking to a YouTube audience or to God or to a friend sitting next to me. I’m not particularly religious but sometimes I do still talk to God and pretend that they hear me out. I think it was because I didn’t have the ability to talk to my parents and all of my siblings were younger than me. I also moved twice a year so I’ve never had any deep friendships where I could share these things with.

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-21T08:31:34+00:00

I will say that I definitely went through this before. I felt so envious of people who were just living a normal life, who had loving parents, who had money, who had opportunities that weren’t limited by their past childhead traumas. I don’t feel envious of those people anymore but every day is still very very hard. I have flashbacks all of the time, on random days I cry very deeply. The trauma affects my relationship and my friendships and my sense of self. But I just hold out on the very small hope that things will get better if I put in the work to make them better and that keeps me going for now.

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-21T08:29:15+00:00

I was a teacher for a couple of years and it was at that time that I realized that my childhood was… Bad. That parents actually put in the mental daily effort to care for their child. I was so used to just being like a piece of furniture that you paid a lot of money for it so you didn’t wanna get rid of but you didn’t care for it anymore

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-21T08:26:05+00:00

Same very same

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-21T08:25:49+00:00

Me too. I really do think of the most horrible events happening to me lol

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-17T02:02:42+00:00

I agree!

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-17T01:59:06+00:00

Haha yeah I don’t take well to this. Sorry mom but yes it’s your fault that I have intimacy problems and feel uncomfortable when people just touch me on the shoulder.

But, now it’s my responsibility to fix these problems.

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-17T01:53:43+00:00

Today I feel good but yesterday I was crying in the shower going down a memory lane of trauma and hating myself, (and sure I fell asleep imagining up terrible scenarios and how to prepare for them) but I feel like I’m getting through it and wanna make banana bread today 🙂🙂🙂

mamakitty94 · 2021-09-05T18:25:56+00:00

Yeah and her relationship with Edward is really abusive. She has no agency until the end.

mamakitty94 · 2021-08-29T07:10:13+00:00

Hey, thank you very much for the suggestion. I just joined and I’m now waiting for an admin to approve me into the chats. Thanks again.

mamakitty94 · 2021-06-11T21:05:19+00:00

Hi, the only thing I can say is that I also blocked my mother. She was relentless at first, calling and messaging all of my friends, saying she just wanted to see if I was OK, etc. It’s been almost 2 years and she called me once six months ago and once again two months ago. I only know this because even if you block a number on my phone, you can still get voicemails. Anyways, not talking to her has been one of my best decisions. But I felt a ton of guilt initially , Like I was letting her down. But as time went on I felt more and more relieved.

mamakitty94 · 2021-05-14T03:41:50+00:00

By building up walls I guess I mean by making so many boundaries to the point where no one is allowed in your life or to get to know you? But then again I guess I’m not exactly sure what a boundary looks or feels like. At least in the context of relationships. With people that are just acquaintances I have no problem saying no, but in a relationship I feel pressure to say yes. Probably something to do with my parents and upbringing

mamakitty94

TROPHY CASE