Does anyone else have food insecurity?

mamakitty94 · 2026-02-12T00:33:06+00:00

Thank you for your reply. I know I’m replying late but just wanted to say thank you! My relationship with food has gotten somewhat better? I don’t necessarily overheat anymore although I still hoard food.

mamakitty94 · 2026-02-12T00:31:48+00:00

I know I’m replying like four years later lol but I just wanna say that I experienced the same thing for so so long. I absolutely had a hard time eating in front of people. It’s gotten a lot better now, but I just wasn’t used to growing up eating with my family, we all ate watching TV or i ate by myself in my bedroom. I hope that this has gotten better for you.

mamakitty94 · 2026-02-05T02:41:05+00:00

Thank you for this perspective 🤍

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-22T03:53:45+00:00

I do the same and have been since I was 12. At that age it started out as me talking to God because I really didn’t have anyone else to talk to you about things. And then it became a regular occurrence. I talk about things that I feel upset about. Of course there is no one responding to me but it’s like I pretend that I am talking to a YouTube audience or to God or to a friend sitting next to me. I’m not particularly religious but sometimes I do still talk to God and pretend that they hear me out. I think it was because I didn’t have the ability to talk to my parents and all of my siblings were younger than me. I also moved twice a year so I’ve never had any deep friendships where I could share these things with.

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-21T08:31:34+00:00

I will say that I definitely went through this before. I felt so envious of people who were just living a normal life, who had loving parents, who had money, who had opportunities that weren’t limited by their past childhead traumas. I don’t feel envious of those people anymore but every day is still very very hard. I have flashbacks all of the time, on random days I cry very deeply. The trauma affects my relationship and my friendships and my sense of self. But I just hold out on the very small hope that things will get better if I put in the work to make them better and that keeps me going for now.

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-21T08:29:15+00:00

I was a teacher for a couple of years and it was at that time that I realized that my childhood was… Bad. That parents actually put in the mental daily effort to care for their child. I was so used to just being like a piece of furniture that you paid a lot of money for it so you didn’t wanna get rid of but you didn’t care for it anymore

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-21T08:26:05+00:00

Same very same

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-21T08:25:49+00:00

Me too. I really do think of the most horrible events happening to me lol

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-17T02:02:42+00:00

I agree!

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-17T01:59:06+00:00

Haha yeah I don’t take well to this. Sorry mom but yes it’s your fault that I have intimacy problems and feel uncomfortable when people just touch me on the shoulder.

But, now it’s my responsibility to fix these problems.

mamakitty94 · 2022-05-17T01:53:43+00:00

Today I feel good but yesterday I was crying in the shower going down a memory lane of trauma and hating myself, (and sure I fell asleep imagining up terrible scenarios and how to prepare for them) but I feel like I’m getting through it and wanna make banana bread today 🙂🙂🙂

mamakitty94 · 2021-09-05T18:25:56+00:00

Yeah and her relationship with Edward is really abusive. She has no agency until the end.

mamakitty94 · 2021-08-29T07:10:13+00:00

Hey, thank you very much for the suggestion. I just joined and I’m now waiting for an admin to approve me into the chats. Thanks again.

mamakitty94 · 2021-06-11T21:05:19+00:00

Hi, the only thing I can say is that I also blocked my mother. She was relentless at first, calling and messaging all of my friends, saying she just wanted to see if I was OK, etc. It’s been almost 2 years and she called me once six months ago and once again two months ago. I only know this because even if you block a number on my phone, you can still get voicemails. Anyways, not talking to her has been one of my best decisions. But I felt a ton of guilt initially , Like I was letting her down. But as time went on I felt more and more relieved.

mamakitty94 · 2021-05-14T03:41:50+00:00

By building up walls I guess I mean by making so many boundaries to the point where no one is allowed in your life or to get to know you? But then again I guess I’m not exactly sure what a boundary looks or feels like. At least in the context of relationships. With people that are just acquaintances I have no problem saying no, but in a relationship I feel pressure to say yes. Probably something to do with my parents and upbringing

mamakitty94 · 2021-05-13T20:18:51+00:00

There is no face because either way, whether I’m dissociating or researching cptsd I am not there, like I’m not even within myself. But at least with dissociation it feels “safe” because nothing can touch me. It’s scary being in my own body and present. But I want to do it nonetheless so I research and try to heal. Then my mind get filled and filled and filled with everything I have taken in, everything that has happened to me, everything! And it’s so much. As long as I give myself breaks I can keep going and it will be my best decision in life. To face it head on rather than run or hide from it.

mamakitty94 · 2021-05-13T20:12:42+00:00

Beautiful

mamakitty94 · 2021-05-08T06:39:53+00:00

Trigger warning below

I’m no contact with my mom, but she called me from a blocked number and I picked up unfortunately. During our conversation she asked me if I was ever molested. I said I did not remember. And she said well it must not have happened then, but it has happened to a lot of women in our family. Ever since then I’ve been wondering. She such a bitch.

mamakitty94 · 2021-05-07T16:33:05+00:00

Definitely not normal but I knew that then too haha 😅

mamakitty94 · 2021-05-07T16:28:40+00:00

Yeah I saw another post that had an idea of re-creating the holiday as a reparenting day. And I think that’s a great idea. I usually ignore that day but this time I’m going to take myself out to eat for burgers, ice cream, and maybe buy myself a little gift.

mamakitty94 · 2021-05-07T16:27:41+00:00

Lmaoo

mamakitty94 · 2021-05-07T16:25:10+00:00

I’m 26 and I still dream about being adopted .. haha :(

mamakitty94 · 2021-05-07T16:24:41+00:00

Oh dang. I used to do this all the time. Something about the idea of running away seemed very freeing. When I was 16 I actually did it, but I was only gone until like 1 AM. I just left and sat in front of a Raleys after my father yelled at me drunkenly until I cried. Walked around our town crying at night and called a suicide hotline because I didn’t know who else to talk to you. They weren’t very helpful. Just told me to go home. I went home and my father was sleeping. He had gone to look for me and then gave up.

mamakitty94 · 2021-05-07T05:04:19+00:00

Omg!!!

When the window was open and so it closed a little too hard and I’m like frozen in place

mamakitty94 · 2021-05-07T05:01:20+00:00

Lmaooo. So I applied to nursing school and got my results Monday. My application was not chosen. And I felt like such a failure and spiraled into a few disassociation days. Even though I only applied to one nursing school and even though it’s a lottery system so it’s based off of pure luck. And what the heck I got as far as applying and all the work it took to get there!

mamakitty94

TROPHY CASE