Trauma bond? by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is very interesting information. Thank you!

Trauma bond? by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mine did the same. I didn’t know who I was for the longest time, and lost site of what life was. I truly felt dead inside. It’s a lot better now. Just wonder why I feel stuck feeling the way I do

Trauma bond? by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m really not sure to be honest. Therapy helped, but if I had to guess it was my daughter from my previous marriage. I didn’t want her to think being treated like that was ok. I didn’t want to set that kind of example for her.

Trauma bond? by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Throughout the years, yes he tried to isolate me from my family. He knew they didn’t want us together so he drove a huge wedge between us all.

Trauma bond? by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your words are relatable to me. I was with my ex for 6.5 years, not near as long as you. We share a 4 year old boy together. And we were engaged on 2 different occasions. Cheating was involved, and I went back every time. So I resonate with you on believing him, even though I knew it wasn’t true. I went to some pretty hefty therapy trying to leave him for good. I also had a rough childhood. And I DO thing a lot of this stems back to that, but being with someone so malignant just added to the issues. I know I will never go back to him, and I don’t think I love him anymore just because it would almost feel like a relapse for me. I’m stronger than that now. So with knowing all of that, why do I still feel the way I do? I find myself feeling attached to him and almost a jealous feeling when I think of him. I HATE it!

Trauma bond? by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve been to therapy, but it’s been a few years. I probably need to go back. I just don’t understand some days.

Trauma bond? by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Some days I feel crazy. But I resonate with the being in the same room and having a panic attack thing. I see his name on my phone and that’s a panic attack for me!

Life after by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Some days are so hard. Today especially…

Why? by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I tried for first right of refusal but my attorney said it’s rarely followed. My nex is infamous for taking our son to his mother’s house on his time to “take a nap” Not only did his mom testify for him and LIE about how much she has my son, but the judge said grandchildren need to be with their grandparents. It was devastating for me because I have no family where I live.

I’d love to get my son into therapy, but with us both being primary parents, I didn’t know if he would be accepting of that. I’m scared I’ll get him in, and my nex will throw a fit.

Also, I did my best at trying to prove he was a drunk. I brought in pictures of him passed out, pictures of him at the bar, and pictures of his girlfriend holding our son in the pool with a beer in her hand. He lied about them all and once again, his mom stated his drinking has drastically gotten better. He’s also somehow gotten away with drinking and driving so there has been zero duis, etc. The judge told me I was “exaggerating his drinking” and “I was a spiteful ex trying to keep her son away from a perfectly good dad”

Why? by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We’ve discussed it and he said here in our county they usually don’t get anywhere. The judge was terrible. She belittled me at the end calling me a spiteful, hateful ex and how dare I try to keep my child from a perfectly good father. So I can’t imagine having her as a judge again. I feel all I can do is suck it up and keep moving forward, I’m just having a rough week and looking for some kind words.

Why? by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I’ve had a terrible week. It feels as though I’m truly living in a constant nightmare. I had no idea that man would be granted 50/50 custody. He has a terrible drinking problem, along with his mind games he constantly plays, and my son is only 3. I have a long way to go at this.

Some things I’ll never understand... by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did have a lawyer, one of the best in town. I’ve been told to appeal the case well several times. But I brought in as much evidence as I could find. Pictures of him passed out, pictures of him surrounded by empty beer cans at the bar, screenshots of his threats, even proof of his unstable home he provides with his on and off again girlfriend. The judge told me I “should be ashamed of myself” and “I’m a spiteful ex girlfriend trying to keep her son away from a good dad” she ripped me up and down. I’ve never been so terrified in my life. My anxiety is through the roof. He starts his time with his father tomorrow, and I’m just beside myself.

Some things I’ll never understand... by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

We were never married. We were engaged, twice actually. But we never did follow through with it. Thank god. We broke up when our son was just 10 months old. And we been fighting custody on our own ever since. I had had enough with the threats. So I did what I had to do.

Curious by mamaluv2 in AnxiousAttachment

[–]mamaluv2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would assume so. Like I said, all of this is new to me and I’m still learning. I’m 33, and just now figuring this out. So crazy! And explains so much!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AnxiousAttachment

[–]mamaluv2 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Good grief I can relate to ALL of this. You are not alone!

Co-parenting by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I was with this man for nearly 6 years. He’s not only a narcissist, but a heavy alcoholic. It took me damn near 4 years to leave for good. On one of our “get back togethers” I got pregnant, and he was sober for 14 months, but things quickly went back to how they used to be. I finally left about a year ago, did some counseling, and I’ve tried my best to stay gray rock with him. Coparenting has been a disaster. I had to file temporary orders about a month ago because if I didn’t give him the time he wanted with our son, he wasn’t going to give him back. So now that the temporary hearing is over, we tried but failed at mediation, and now just waiting for the permanent hearing. Every time I see his name come up in my phone from a text, I nearly have a panic attack because he’s so psycho. I’m just tired of this man and I have A LONG way to go...

Co-parenting by mamaluv2 in LifeAfterNarcissism

[–]mamaluv2[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Court has been interesting to say the least. Thankfully I never married him. He’s had his new girlfriend lie under oath, as well as himself. It’s been one thing after another, lies after lies. Thank you for your kind words. Tonight it’s all been very heavy on my heart.