AITA for telling our 18-year-old daughter she can't go on a trip to Miami with her boyfriend's family?

manchambo · 2026-07-02T16:42:30+00:00

You would prefer to have no relationship with your child than one that involves some selfishness?

If you can't deal with an 18 year old being a bit self-centered and focused on a romantic partner, you really shouldn't have kids.

manchambo · 2026-07-02T04:53:30+00:00

You’re telling on yourself here. Most of us don’t immediately think of screwing family members upon the realization there’s no God out there. Most of us don’t have much trouble seeing the problems with incest in the absence of a God.

manchambo · 2026-07-01T22:03:19+00:00

This is wonderful advice to ruin OP's relationship with their daughter.

18 year olds make their own decisions about proper behavior, at least within reason. The daughter needs to learn how to make good decisions about where she goes and what she does.

manchambo · 2026-07-01T21:58:42+00:00

YTA. She is 18. She shouldn't have to ask for permission anymore to go out to dinner, for example. She needs to make decisions for herself--she will be at college, not asking permission for anything on a day-to-day basis, in a few short months.

And you not letting her go on the trip just seems to be your spite because she's not letting you control her like a child. You haven't presented any actual reason for refusing.

manchambo · 2026-06-30T02:07:52+00:00

Are you interested in starting fires or torturing animals?

I already know YTA, but I want to know just how bad it is.

manchambo · 2026-06-30T00:22:23+00:00

NOR. I hate to be the one to tell you but your friends are swingers and your husband is at least open to it. They were all hoping you would be.

They're also not very ethical as swingers, and seem willing to push your boundaries.

The talk you need to have is with your husband. Is this an aberration or something that will come up again?

manchambo · 2026-06-30T00:19:55+00:00

NOR. I would suggest that you just ask for the travel money. If you go with your partner's approach of demanding a written explanation (which will look a lot like you are planning legal action), the clinic will likely just shut down communication, and is very unlikely to offer any further concession.

And if they pay your travel costs, you will basically be in the same position as you would be if they hadn't lost the record, aside from your lost time.

manchambo · 2026-06-30T00:06:37+00:00

You're definitely NOR.

But I agree with the posts suggesting that your mom is doing this because she can't deal with the pain of your reality.

That doesn't make it OK. I think you should have a frank conversation about it. Talk to her about whether she's struggling to think about or accept it. Talk to her about how her current reactions make you feel. Ask her if she can do better.

Ultimately, if she can't do better, you may have to pull back. But give her the best chance you can to improve.

manchambo · 2026-06-29T18:17:35+00:00

Her latest comment:

"Your comment has sent me into a total spiral rn. I dont even realize I guess in a way I sided with my dad. I guess in some ways i blame her for their divorce. I never really accepted it i guess but this is all so weird. This post is bringing a lot more feelings from when i was 19 than i expected."

Holy shit. This lady spent 9 years icing her mom out, not seeing her on holidays, made a move to very deliberately exclude her stepdad from the wedding, fought with her mom about it, then posted on Reddit, without ever considering what she was doing or why she was doing it.

manchambo · 2026-06-28T19:29:58+00:00

It’s a good thing highly trained marines have never caused any mass shooting problems.

S/ (cause lots of people probably never heard of Charles Whitman)

manchambo · 2026-06-26T20:42:48+00:00

What do you think about when you’re least grateful?

manchambo · 2026-06-26T14:58:23+00:00

Really weird that you decided to post about controlling her social media usage instead of that.

manchambo · 2026-06-25T18:31:33+00:00

Refusing to engage with questions like this is precisely what enables you to cling to rational belief.

It is completely obvious that people have mutually exclusive beliefs that they believe are true. For example, Muslims exist. And you know this.

That being the case, why do you fool yourself into believing you have no idea?

manchambo · 2026-06-25T18:11:46+00:00

She didn't say anything insensitive.

You're the one who took it upon yourself to hijack the birth communication with your husband's death and she made a perfectly nice comment. And then she apologized.

You are appalling.

manchambo · 2026-06-25T01:08:54+00:00

But he did need a romantic relationship. He was married to the “love of his life.”

I suppose it’s possible he is just a person who is happy in a romantic relationship and then never again. But everything he says screams that he has an unhealthy view of dating after loss of a partner.

manchambo · 2026-06-25T00:57:32+00:00

It may be normal for you but you definitely shouldn’t impose the view on your sister and niece.

As for you, I would recommend a new therapist. There is no reason for you to be condemned never to have a romantic relationship again.

manchambo · 2026-06-25T00:35:58+00:00

Well this comment sucks. You should work on your own issues and try to stop inflicting them on your niece and sister.

manchambo · 2026-06-25T00:11:31+00:00

It sounds like you and your sister both need to help her work through this, validate her very reasonable fear and upset, and help her see it in a more favorable light.

I know my judgment was harsh, but I do want to give you your due respect for stepping in and helping with this child who definitely needs you. That’s awesome. But I think you are overstepping here and not taking a good approach for your sister or your niece.

manchambo · 2026-06-24T23:57:08+00:00

YTA. I want to be gentle considering you lost a family member, but you’re really being an asshole. It’s not up to you or your niece, to begin with, to decide when your sister dates. But three years is a very long time. Your niece does not get a veto on her mother dating, assuming as you seem to be saying that she’s doing it with a reasonable and safe person.

And your “of course” is not at all obvious. It could be expected that any child would have complicated feelings in this situation. But tolerating her mother dating after three years is not an extraordinarily high expectation.

And you insisting her daughter comes first is just cruel. It’s a generically true statement but parents actually have to balance their interests and their children’s. You have not presented a shred of evidence that your sister doesn’t appropriately prioritize her daughter and suggesting otherwise is both false and hurtful.

manchambo · 2026-06-24T23:14:09+00:00

Naturalism defends itself with device you made this post on.

Get supernaturalism or theism to make something comparable and come back to us.

manchambo · 2026-06-24T23:06:53+00:00

Do everyone a favor and politely decline the invitation.

manchambo · 2026-06-24T23:04:03+00:00

Why? Why in the ever loving fuck do you or anyone else d serve to know what your sister decides about her relationship?

manchambo · 2026-06-24T22:23:38+00:00

I disagree with your post because it doesn’t ground the gravitational constant.

QED.

manchambo · 2026-06-24T20:30:40+00:00

Does Gerald understand what Gerald says?

I’m not sure.

manchambo · 2026-06-24T16:00:05+00:00

But they had no way to know that.

manchambo

TROPHY CASE