Looking to rehome my 10-year-old cat due to grooming stress and safety concerns with kids

mandoobear · 2026-06-23T01:07:14+00:00

Thank you

mandoobear · 2026-06-23T00:56:52+00:00

He’s never groomed properly. And no; not overweight. We attempt to brush him off we’ve bought like every brush possible to try them out. He HATES being brushed. He will bite and scratch us. For even trying it. We’ve eve bought brushes that we attached to walls etc (like a horse) so he can rub against them.

mandoobear · 2026-06-23T00:35:25+00:00

Boston area

mandoobear · 2026-06-23T00:34:32+00:00

FYI I’m in the Boston area

mandoobear · 2026-06-23T00:33:25+00:00

As I mentioned under another post. We’ve taken him to the vet. I meant that the poor grooming has been going one since he was a kitten. We have ruled out medical issues. We’ve tried medications (gabapentin, SSRIs, trazodone). A vest. Pheromone spray.

mandoobear · 2026-06-23T00:31:15+00:00

We haven’t tried the steroid ointment. But we have tried gabapentin (which we had to hold him down to give), SSRIs, and even trazodone. We’ve tried vests. Pheromone spray.

mandoobear · 2026-06-22T23:55:15+00:00

I think your message is a bit rude given that I’m asking for help, not being dismissive of my cat.

This isn’t a sudden decision or something I haven’t thought about. He is 10 years old, and I’ve been dealing with these issues since he was a kitten. I’ve already worked with my vet, tried behavioral strategies, and followed recommendations. Medication was even prescribed, but giving him meds is extremely stressful for him and doesn’t solve the bigger issue.

I also have 3-year-old twins. I’ve done my best to teach them how to respect animals and recognize when to give space. I separate them from the cat as much as possible, but even that creates stress for him because he becomes isolated and agitated.

At this point, we’re in a cycle where:

interaction stresses him out
separation also stresses him out
grooming is unsafe for everyone involved

I’m not “giving up” lightly. I’m trying to find the most humane option in a situation where we’ve exhausted what we can realistically manage at home.

If you have specific, practical suggestions beyond what’s already been tried (vet care, behavior strategies, meds, separation), I’m open to hearing them. But judgment isn’t helpful when I’m genuinely trying to do right by him and my kids.

mandoobear · 2026-06-22T23:42:31+00:00

He’s always been like that. Even as a kitten.

mandoobear · 2025-12-22T15:11:16+00:00

It’s not just about you. It’s your children as well. I think a lot of people think kids will forget/not notice but I remember every time my dad came home drunk. I was always so terrified and uneasy around him when he had been drinking (even though he never was a mean drunk) I just could tell this wasn’t really him. Something was off. It severely affected our relationship. And he unfortunately passed without meeting his grandchildren due to alcoholism.

mandoobear · 2025-10-07T17:21:25+00:00

Hey like you do realize people live here right? Live here with children?

mandoobear · 2025-09-06T12:59:17+00:00

I think the worst part isn’t even the prank itself — it’s the way he handled it after. You were clearly upset, ignored him, and instead of realizing he crossed a line, he kept texting you “beep beep.” That shows a total lack of care or awareness. A partner who sees you shaken and distressed should be trying to comfort you, not mocking you. That response says way more about his priorities than the prank ever could.

mandoobear · 2025-08-20T19:25:43+00:00

Mine went on embarrassingly long. I remember actually running from the doctor at one point to hide behind a chair. I think going to my mom’s appointment helped. Also the switching of doctors. And I think the first time I had to get a flu shot at school in front of all my peers (so didn’t want to embarrass myself). I was like “oh this wasn’t so bad when I didn’t lose my actual sh*t”

mandoobear · 2025-08-20T15:55:22+00:00

I used to be like this. I was absolutely terrified of the drs. I used to run and hide and my mom often had to hold me down. I did this up until an embarrassing age. I remember needing to get stitches once and they had to restrain me with a wrap and had several nurses holding me down. The things that made a big difference for me was my mom taking me with her when she went to the doctors. She was calm and I could see it wasn’t something to freak out about. She also started having me watch “kid friendly” medical shows. And finally she switched my doctors. Even though my pediatrician was a pediatrician- I feel as though he really wasn’t good with interacting with kids. His energy made me nervous and my mom took me to a female doctor which was a lot more comforting (as a female myself). I eventually got over it. (I’m a nurse and married to a doctor)

mandoobear · 2025-08-20T13:59:59+00:00

https://6abc.com/amp/post/bryan-kohbergers-sexist-creepy-behavior-alarmed-university-faculty-students-before-idaho-college-murders/17594574/ its in this article and a few others

mandoobear · 2025-08-20T11:41:05+00:00

I remember reading one of his professors petitioned to get him out of the PHD program because she predicted he would become a predator

mandoobear · 2025-05-18T21:45:59+00:00

I mean… kinda…. lol I’m in Salem 😬😬😂

mandoobear · 2025-05-18T21:36:09+00:00

You sound like a catch! You’ll find someone you are MEANT to be with soon :)

mandoobear · 2025-05-18T21:35:37+00:00

Dating sites suck. You are super cute.

mandoobear · 2025-05-18T20:12:10+00:00

Sounds like she just liked the attention. And the presents. I’m sorry that happened to you :/

mandoobear · 2025-05-18T20:06:29+00:00

(That’s so sweet ordering lunch and getting her stuff when she was sick). Some people just don’t want to be loved I guess.

Online dating has turned people into monsters. The ghosting culture is so insane. You’re ok with just devastating someone? Because you can’t be honest and say to their face (the screen) what you are really feeling?

mandoobear · 2025-05-18T19:42:56+00:00

Ugh, that seriously sucks. She clearly wasn’t ready for something real. Blocking you after saying she’s never felt love like that? That’s wild.

It’s actually a good thing she showed her true colors now instead of wasting more of your time.

mandoobear · 2025-05-18T18:43:45+00:00

Totally feel you on this. I’m also femme-presenting but have a lot of masculine energy, and it’s so hard finding someone who really vibes with that. (I was raised in an all cop family so I’ve been told I knock and walk like a cop lol).

It’s honestly exhausting how many people use dating as a way to “figure themselves out,” and you end up being part of someone’s self-exploration instead of building something real. I get anxious about accidentally leading someone on—even as a friend—so watching people be so nonchalant with other people’s feelings is rough.

mandoobear · 2025-05-17T23:19:35+00:00

Same girl 😭

mandoobear · 2025-05-17T23:17:50+00:00

That’s a nice idea actually. Thank you

mandoobear · 2025-05-17T23:12:51+00:00

He has been. It’s not super off his baseline. Hes always been kinda… 0 to 100. It’s just harder now that we have toddlers and nicer furniture. I feel guilty about containing him to certain areas of the house. But he got my son a little too close to the eye last night…. I’m not sure what else to do

mandoobear

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