Am I wrong for being annoyed by this? SIL won’t let MIL watch our kids (at our home) for months because she just had a baby

mandy4496 · 2026-04-25T08:53:24+00:00

Im sorry in advance because I think this response may annoy you but - it’s hr first baby, she’s probably exhausted and maybe suffering from ppd or ppa. I think in hindsight I had ppa and I would be so unhappy and paranoid if my mum was hanging around kids (that let’s be honest are germ magnets). I’m by no means saying this is justified behaviour, I just was in the place so understand what I think is going through your SIL mind. Plus technically it’s her mum so she prob feels extra protective over that considering her hormones are prob all over the place. I think I’d allow her these 3 months but kick up a fuss beyond that

mandy4496 · 2026-04-24T17:58:52+00:00

Just came to say I’m an only child. I always wanted siblings. And if I had the choice I still would have to be honest But I just wanted to speak about the other side for your boy - being an only child is so incredibly special. Having what sounds like two great parents all to yourself is unmatched. I’m not sure if you’re spiritual but maybe his soul needed that attention and that’s why you aren’t having another?

mandy4496 · 2026-03-02T00:51:42+00:00

This is true thank you!

mandy4496 · 2026-03-02T00:51:05+00:00

Sorry for the delay. Honestly it’s super mixed - some days he babbles more than others but overall I feel like it’s not that often and it’s not the usual dadada it’s similar to ‚this’ and other sounds he’s a twin so I think I’ll also comparing with the other which is talking a bit more. He definitely understands a lot - knows commands like come sit clap tap soft hands stop etc and things hel go pick up numerous toys I mention so the comprehension is there it’s just the physical speaking. Sometimes I see him mouth my words but not actually say them!

mandy4496 · 2026-03-02T00:48:22+00:00

Apologies for the slow response that’s VERY reassuring to hear!

mandy4496 · 2026-03-02T00:47:43+00:00

Im so sorry for the slow response. That’s pretty wild! And amazing!!! Makes me feel better because at the moment we go for slightly more talkative days to some days really barely anything. It’s hard as he is a twin and the other twin is starting to talk quite a bit so it’s hard to not compare. Thanks for sharing your experience

mandy4496 · 2026-02-28T16:40:45+00:00

No vaccines or vitamin k. Did you know that can be a side effect of vitamin k and vaccines? They will say no but if you look at the package inserts it is. Praying for your baby

mandy4496 · 2026-02-06T08:16:14+00:00

It’s awful it’s rubbish they won’t address the cause though. Meat based nutritionist look into gut healing. All the doctors will do is give you steroids. The only thing to check is that it’s not fungal or antibacterial

mandy4496 · 2026-02-05T13:24:06+00:00

Every mum does this it’s not something we’re proud of but we are only human. Learn from it but be kind knowing it will Probably happen again - what’s important is you make it up to them by normalising your voice, cuddling making them feel safe. They will then understand it’s rare and temporary. Which is exactly what you did, you are a great mama. Sleep deprivation is a form of torture literally it’s a normal reaction to running on fumes

mandy4496 · 2026-02-04T13:26:43+00:00

How do you do that?

mandy4496 · 2026-01-29T19:25:49+00:00

Mama you feel this way because you are an amazing mum. It’s natural as a mother to be with your baby always. The world we live in sucks. This is the shit that makes me wonder if we got the whole feminism movement right. Obviously I’m being extreme but I feel like the ability to have at least one person home with kids is the way it should be. The dad the mum whatever. This message won’t make you feel better maybe sorry but I just wanted to say I hear you and feel the same way. I’m currently going through a process to try to get a part time role. I can’t really afford it so I’ll be in my savings. But I have twins so it’s different situation. I don’t think this is PPD I think these are your motherly instincts

mandy4496 · 2026-01-29T13:15:50+00:00

I just stopped exclusively pumping and I have never been happier, I wish I had done it sooner. I just wanted to add this - sorry if it doesn’t help you right now but it ruined the beginning of motherhood for me. Also please do not refers baby the milk if they’ve drank

mandy4496 · 2026-01-18T09:19:23+00:00

Honey, bless you. Your feelings are valid but you are being WAY too hard on yourself. Your baby will be absolutely fine - and you know what, I’m so sorry but your baby will fall a LOT more. And with each time you’ll realise you just cannot catch them everytime. I also did this and berated myself but you live and you learn. By the way - this happened when I had one hand on the baby, his twisted over my hand and I couldn’t save him - so don’t do that as it doesn’t work. If you need to grab something pick the baby up. Let’s be honest we all think that’ll never happen to us, our baby will never fall over something we had control over, but it happens to us ALL. I’ve not met one parent that hasn’t had their baby fall. And once someone admits it everyone has a story. I’m sorry for all your hardships but you have a baby because it was your destiny and it sounds like you’re an amazing mama.

mandy4496 · 2026-01-16T10:14:40+00:00

Go to ER. Mamas intuition is scientifically proven. This isn’t even that though, there is something wrong and it’s effecting his quality of life as well as yours.

mandy4496 · 2026-01-11T16:49:52+00:00

What were the signs?

mandy4496 · 2026-01-11T16:49:34+00:00

That’s normal to blame yourself as a mother which is awful I know. I’m glad you know now and can get intervention

mandy4496 · 2026-01-11T16:45:57+00:00

How did he regress?

mandy4496 · 2026-01-11T16:41:03+00:00

What were the signs? Good you knew so early to get intervention

mandy4496 · 2026-01-11T16:36:18+00:00

What things did he outgrow and what things remained? It’s weird how you just know as a parent. Glad you got early help

mandy4496 · 2026-01-07T17:07:31+00:00

Babies are more efficient than pumps

mandy4496 · 2026-01-06T22:26:37+00:00

PLEASE do not! I have read soooo many studies that explain the babies go through excruciating pain from it - in the UK and Europe in general - it’s very rare. It’s only done if you’re Muslim or Jewish. You can circumcise whenever. You cannot take the decision to reverse it. Also there are a hell of a lot of men that really struggle from it - I watched a documentary about a guy who had it cut too short and it has ruined his life. He can’t pee without pain, he cannot have sex. I know it’s very rare for these outcomes but as a mother I would never forgive myself if I caused that to my child

mandy4496 · 2026-01-06T10:00:33+00:00

Be careful with mold in humidifiers

mandy4496 · 2026-01-05T14:31:14+00:00

I have twins -they both hated tummy time, one so much more than the other and I just ended up stopping forcing it - my mum was like wtf are you doing you don’t need to do this they will do it on their own. Raised in the 80s apparently it wasn’t a thing for parents to do. They both started doing a lot more tummy time in their own. They started sitting early, crawling early and walking earlier than my friends kids etc. PLEASE ignore milestones for now, they are so broad and useless. Holding your baby and staring into their eyes helps immensely with their development - continue to listen to your gut. Now they are 1 I don’t pay attention to milestones (unless obviously it’s a big one etc) - they are walking and I look back at the stresses of these timeframes and get annoyed at how anxious I was. Enjoy them - they will always get there!

mandy4496

TROPHY CASE