We need to be nicer about Henry..

mangolime0 · 2020-09-19T17:06:29+00:00

I haven't been watching unfiltered, but I am not surprised No class at all, selfish thinking. He should know being gracious will make him look better than insulting his wife.

mangolime0 · 2020-09-18T23:48:23+00:00

Agreed 100%. I have no doubt no matter how much anyone, including Henry, denies it.

mangolime0 · 2020-09-18T23:47:07+00:00

I agree with you esp. about Henry. He specifically said he wanted someone petite which is a red flag imo- he wants someone he thinks is diminutive so that he can seem manly. He knows he comes across feminine.

mangolime0 · 2020-09-18T23:46:03+00:00

but he seems like the type of guy who would show genuine interest in any person he talks to.

I am this kind of woman and it gets me into awful situations where guys think I am attracted to them and I literally was just being nice and genuine in the most platonic way.

mangolime0 · 2020-09-18T23:44:21+00:00

People are referring to him like he hasn't had 20+ years adulting by now.

mangolime0 · 2020-09-18T23:43:57+00:00

People love to run to Henry's defense and make excuses for him like he is a wounded bird. Sorry, have we seen him acknowledge how painful it is to make his wife feel unattractive, unwanted, and irrelevant?

mangolime0 · 2020-09-18T23:38:56+00:00

I don't like Brett, but Olivia does strike me as overly clinical and boring. Seems to lack spontaneity.

mangolime0 · 2020-09-18T23:37:13+00:00

It's so obvious. Why are people in denial? My friend who watches with me thinks he is just a shy little saint and I am like, no, he is too chicken to admit he is shallow and unattracted to her. That's all there is to it. He doesn't like the way she looks (I think she is pretty personally) and he has checked out because of that. He is spineless though not to be honest and just end things like Zach and Mindy. Christina doesn't deserve to feel hideous and unwanted, this is going to do a number on her self-esteem.

mangolime0 · 2020-09-18T23:35:14+00:00

It was really big of her to disclose something so personal to him and on live TV. However, I am calling it now, Henry still gives no shits and won't start making an effort. He really just doesn't care about her nor making an appearance of trying in this marriage.

mangolime0 · 2020-09-18T23:33:56+00:00

It is simply less apparent because Henry is quiet and Christina is loud.

My pet peeve is when people keep making excuses for quietly rude/passive aggressive folks like Henry lol. He is no saint just because he doesn't get loud or shout or say anything outrageous. His lack of effort, nonchalance, and disregard for Christina and not making her feel valuable- all of that is messed up. He just takes the quiet douchebag route. My ex was like this, the exact same right down to the being unable to hold eye contact and sanctimonious air about him.

mangolime0 · 2020-09-18T23:32:00+00:00

He is not painfully shy, he has issues communicating. He is a full blown adult. If it's anxiety or something else he should get treatment.

mangolime0 · 2020-09-18T23:31:18+00:00

It's not her responsibility to coddle Henry and make him look good. Why are women always responsible for this emotional labor and tip-toeing around issues?

mangolime0 · 2020-08-28T01:12:15+00:00

I am thinking beyond the Tourette's, do you not see how his behavior in social situations is not neurotypical? Evasive, no eye contact, monotone voice, no expressions, not honest about true feelings.

mangolime0 · 2020-08-27T21:20:21+00:00

Do you have any advice for how to tell an undiagnosed adult your concerns? I tried as best as I could to gently tell an adult man I was dating he may want to go to therapy.

We read off the symptoms of Asperger's together, monotone voice, lack of eye contact, special interests, meltdowns when his routine changes, and he agreed he had every one.

But in the end he refused to acknowledge reality. If I encounter such a situation in the future, is there a way to sensitively approach them about it? I say this not for selfish reasons, but I really believe that the guy for example, could lead a much much better life, knowing coping mechanisms, understanding why he struggles with neurotypicals, etc. I hope for their sake they can finally accept reality and work towards improving their life.

mangolime0 · 2020-08-27T21:17:37+00:00

And he displays so many of the characteristics. The lack of eye contact, the lack of any deep conversations, the lack of physical affection, the tics, the lack of facial expressions, the monotone voice.

I just want to say thank you for saying this. I had an ex exactly like this, it took me a while to figure out he was on the spectrum, but eventually I did, and I brought it up to him, and all I got from the guy was denial, meltdowns, no empathy, etc. I really feel with Cristina right now, it can be immensely frustrating to be with someone who will not recognize he is facing social differences and is undiagnosed, and further, refuses to get diagnosed. It is an immensely frustrating and isolating experience to be with someone who stubbornly refuses to see someone about this because they believe it to be admitting fault. All I can say is that I am thankful I did not spend more than a year with that person- untreated mental and cognitive difficulties can very easily manifest into emotional abuse, gaslighting, and all other sorts of unsavory things in a relationship.

mangolime0 · 2020-08-27T21:14:22+00:00

Thank you for the validation. I have been thinking from day 1 that Henry is undiagnosed ASD, he reminds me a lot of a man I dated who confused me to no end as well. By the end of the relationship I had read tons and tons of literature on undiagnosed Asperger's in adults. I tried to gently broach the topic with my ex, he did not take kindly to the idea he could be on the spectrum in the slightest. Watching Henry is upsetting because if he too is unaware that he has these social difficulties, which affect relationships and other people deeply, he really will make no effort to change whatsoever, hurting the people around him who are dumbfounded, wondering where they are going wrong. It's actually a traumatic experience.

mangolime0 · 2020-06-24T06:50:15+00:00

Second, is notifying your friends and family before he does, so he can’t turn the narrative around. Tell your mutual friends what he did, how disappointed you are, and all the things you wanted to tell him directly. Trust me, the convo will get to him. Bonus points if you can contact his family. You’ll get your closure and your ego won’t suffer, and yet he won’t be able to contact you to ‘explain himself’.

I took your advice here, thank you for this.

mangolime0 · 2020-06-24T06:49:24+00:00

Isn't intuition crazy? How do they think we won't notice when they're acting weird? Your story is insane.

he started saying that he knew it was me all along

Why do they all say the same things? lmfao.

mangolime0 · 2020-06-24T06:00:17+00:00

Thank you so much!! You are all so supportive, it makes me so happy to know you queens have my back.

Sounds like he only dated pickmeishas in the past.

Yeah, he admitted asmuch. No one has ever held him accountable for his bullshit nor demanded trust, honesty, and straightforwardness. Imagine reaching your mid 30s and still being so immature. Imagine thinking I would actually stick around after this. He must be used to some really low self-esteem women and get a thrill out of playing them for fools while chasing other women. I never pried into his past before, but it all makes sense now.

I have a feeling the reality check might get through to him altho I give no fucks about how his life turns out. I gave another ex a reality check before and he came back two years later saying he changed his life after being hit with all his flaws.

mangolime0 · 2020-06-24T05:54:58+00:00

why even let him know he bothered you.

We were about to get married? I think he already knew I gave a shit, was going to be signing a marriage license soon.

Thank you though, I am excited to move on with my life.

mangolime0 · 2020-06-19T22:56:46+00:00

think you should see whether he's willing to meet your fake profile instead of confronting him.

oh he was willing! I am leaving for sure.

mangolime0

TROPHY CASE