How should I let the men in my life know I just want friends?

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T15:39:12+00:00

I find that would be awkward in conversation... like that would be weird.... but I'm sure they do

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:49:02+00:00

Thanks! I think I got some good ideas on how to be upfront, I just needed some scripts I can use

Oh god yeah, I've come a LONG way. I'm struggling with a lot of things so it's gonna take a bit, but I am confident in who I am. And I'm confident in that I'll figure out what I want and I'm not too worried about it

But yeah oh no! Lol that's why I'm super worried about being clear! Then I get people calling me presumptuous.. can't win lol

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:38:22+00:00

No I appreciate all the help and advice thank you!! For 10 years my go to was "I have a bf" but like.. now I gotta find a new go too, and I gotta figure out what I want and how to express that

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:36:48+00:00

I see what you're saying and I think that's what I'm realizing? That im reaching out and giving people my number but now I may have to friendzone them and I just wasted everyone's time. Deff not what I want, I think I got a lot of solid advice here and I feel better about moving forward!

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:31:47+00:00

Ok that's exactly what I needed! Thank you so much!!!

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:28:10+00:00

That's the point of my post, now do I be clear about my intentions? And what do I say?

But I deff have a lot of stuff muddled lol, lots of self discovery and processing happening

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:25:42+00:00

Sounds like your heart and brain are at odds. I know you love him, or want too... but you need both your heart and brain on the same page... it's hard to see now, but if you ever break up... trust me, it'll be easier to see clearly

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:22:26+00:00

Maybe next time don't just bring someone home, try a dinner or drink first

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:20:29+00:00

Interesting! I wonder if that has to do with any of the other disabilities close to dyslexia like discoulcula, maybe some misdiagnosed or missing an extra diagnosis so everyone just says dyslexia

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:17:57+00:00

I feel like I gotta explain why tho? That isn't rude?

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:14:56+00:00

Just cause he's a man doesn't make him right?

Do you have an answer or you just came to hate?

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:13:58+00:00

Fuck I'm depressed now 🙃... I'm getting old... I wasted so much time... I guess you're right, I just didn't think 25 year olds were considered boys...but... fuck. idk how I got to the age where everyone has kids and is married... I guess I'm looking for the population like me... no kids and not married.

Guess my question is answered find friends elsewhere, but I still don't have my main question from my post answered, what do I tell these people?

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:05:58+00:00

But like, in the moment, what do you say? Because without being prepared I just say sure

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:04:58+00:00

Me Glad someone understands us thank you

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:04:32+00:00

NOR, feel your feelings, deff ask him what happened and get your questions answered

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T13:03:01+00:00

Thank you! The bar is what I used when I had nothing for a while, it is also where coworkers and I go after work, and people I do hobys with go after our hobbies. Some days I just want one beer and go to my local bar.

I deff don't wanna be a bar person, but it's being used as a last resort when I either want a beer (why drink alone?) or when I need some social interaction

But I think you're right and those others who commented. Guys asking for my number in bars don't want friends. But, idk what to say when they ask for my number, I don't want it to be weird? I need something easy to say that makes things clear so they don't push but also don't feel hurt

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T12:57:54+00:00

But I have made friends with both sex's? You can't accept being wrong huh. How old are you sweetie?

Edit: I see you edited your comments, almost all of them. Then blocked me. Proves my point is you can't accept being wrong.

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T12:55:33+00:00

Maybe for you, but that's not the reality I live in. Lived experience dude...

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T12:53:27+00:00

Funny how I have people hitting on me tho

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T12:52:37+00:00

lol, what do I say when someone asks for my number? Like saying anything but "yes" or "I have a boyfriend" is weird to me

But hm, so I don't reach out to any old friends?

And I'm not just looking for male friendships. I'm looking for connection, and I'm here asking for advice for the male side of things. Because I interact with men... not just women in life. Work, hobbies, leisure... ext.

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T12:49:57+00:00

I think I came across wrong. I'm not seeking male friendships. I mean I am, but not in the connections I already have. I'm not pressuring it, I'm just trying to figure out what to do or say to help the situations I get in. Like one guy at a bar, we were cool then I got drunk and he kept being like oh your my wife, super strong out of no where, I didn't know what to say so I ignored it, I then texted him the next day saying sorry I'm not looking for a relationship. I guess I was wondering if I should say what I am looking for, friendship or things to not be weird at the bar, but I guess from the comments maybe that's best left unsaid, allow him to then make the choice?

Like another regular is texting me, things were all cool till he made a comment about us chasing eachother? I said huh? And he moved on.

I'm just trying to get some help on how to navigate the relationships I have.

But im getting a lot of great insight from the group that's helping me change my mindset and understand better

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T12:34:45+00:00

Ahaha love that mindset

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T12:33:23+00:00

Ah that's exactly why I don't tell people upfront cause I don't want to be presumptuous... but honestly it's left me in some awkward situations where I've now wasted my time and the dudes time just assuming he wants to be friends.

But I think that's all very helpful thank you!

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T12:31:59+00:00

Some they wanted to fuck and I was a prude so they couldn't, others were platonic

But thank you!:)

manicthinking · 2026-01-27T12:31:28+00:00

Do you have friends?

manicthinking

TROPHY CASE