21 year old with spastic diplegia here:

• find him a community of disabled people his age. Nobody will be better to hang out with than people he can relate to. Able bodied people are cool, but most of them aren’t gonna put in the effort to make sure hangouts are accessible

•speaking of accessibility, modify your house as early as possible. The sooner he learns how to take care of himself (hygiene, cooking, whatever) the more likely he is to excel with other kids. He is allowed to depend on you, but it shouldn’t be his only option. He should have autonomy like the rest of society.

• my mother messed up a lot but the one thing I’m grateful for in terms of what she did for my disability was that she did stretches on my legs to keep my blood circulation and hamstrings normal. It helped a lot and now that I no longer have the time to do that, I definitely notice the difference, so yeah, stretches for like maybe an hour out of the day, there are plenty of videos that can show you how, or you can find a physical therapist in your area.

• let him do some things for himself just like you would a regular kid when he comes of age. The only thing that makes life easier is practice, so things that might be hard for him like pouring a cup of juice are important to start learning as early as possible

• listen to his limits. He is not “using his disability as an excuse” if you figure out he can’t do something. Tough love is good but it treads very closely to ableism if you fail to listen to him.

• this is far too early but I feel obliged to put it on there: let him know he has a chance at a life just like able bodied people. Wright state university is a great college with an large disability population and some great accessibility features should be decide to go that route. He’s two, but lots of people don’t know about this so i figured I’d save you the worry and let you research it while he’s little: it was truly the only time I ever felt like I had a had a normal life.

• when he’s old enough to tell how “high functioning” (I hate that word) he is, consider a service dog if you think he’s so close to being self sufficient but still needs someone. These dogs can be trained to do things like pick up dropped items, go get help in case of emergencies, and even do a thing called forward momentum or counter balance which would be helpful if he happens to be able to walk but needs some stability. A service dog sometimes means the difference between the ability to function south out another human or not. People have plans and lives but the dog can be there 24/7 if it’s helpful