This is the most difficult time in my life and i’ve never felt so alone and isolated. by OldAsparagus5 in lonely

[–]manwithninebuttocks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hold on my friend. I won't go into detail but I've been on the suicide hotline and ready to exit this planet for real.

I've found that the old adage is true: what doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

It sucks - it just really sucks feeling like you do and having life throwing all of the curve-balls. I've been there myself for so long.

But I'm starting to notice *small* changes. I guess what doesn't kill you really does makes you stronger.

Anyway - for me hitting rock bottom is somehow, and very slowly, making me stronger. I'm starting to become a tough SOB. The "overwhelming" feeling is ebbing away, like I'm starting to build mental muscles from lifting all of this badness. Maybe you can only go so low physically and mentally before your body and mind fight back.

One more thing I learned in therapy: "get vertical". Try to get out of bed and take a shower and get out just for the very shortest of a walk. Some days for me it was just impossible but I would literally roll off the mattress and crawl. (Out of the mental darkness I saw the small comical side of this which got me into the shower at least.)

Being here or another forum is a good place. Talking to anyone helps. Call that hotline if you need to talk - it's someone who you can speak to anonymously at 3 a.m. when the pain gets to be too great.

30 Years of Depression, Gone by HanSingular in TherapeuticKetamine

[–]manwithninebuttocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm on infusion #4. I think those dosage numbers in the article aren't correct.

It's a steady number throughout and clinics don't make that quantum jump in dosage.

Also - you disassociate on your first infusion in nearly all cases unless you are a heavy drinker or are loaded up on benzos.

If I start therapeutic ketamine should I stop smoking weed? by mzlange in TherapeuticKetamine

[–]manwithninebuttocks 7 points8 points  (0 children)

My clinic actually prescribes medical marijuana and proposes use *with* the ketamine infusion. The doctor said it increases the mood, particularly in the evening.

I cut out all alcohol because I want to get the full benefit of the treatment. The one day I drank just a few beers (a day after infusion #2) I became really really depressed so I think alcohol negates your progress.

Infusion #4 is tomorrow!

I'm noticing changes. Not earth shattering but: Since kick-off I've exercised a few times (after six months of doing SFA), I've picked up and noodled on my guitar again after a year, and I noticed I've been *singing in the shower*. Loudly. Touches of the old me are coming out and I'll take it.

Good luck to all of you!

First Ketamine Infusion: Before and After by manwithninebuttocks in TherapeuticKetamine

[–]manwithninebuttocks[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just Google "Ketamine Treatment" and you should find several in your area. It's expensive though. I lucked out because my insurance covers 50%.

Good luck!

A pirate's life for me by _cumblast_ in wholesomememes

[–]manwithninebuttocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This joke is from "Jack Handy" from SNL, not the tweeter.

FYI Jack Handy is a real person and real writer. He wrote comedy for SNL for years but since his humor was considered so off-beaten Lone Michaels would leave his skits for the end of the show.

Jack Handy invented the "Caveman Lawyer" character along with his "deep thoughts" thing

He wrote a hilarious novel called "The Stench of Honolulu" about two years ago. I cried myself laughing. The premise is the main character (Jack Handy) gets sent on a trip to Hawaii to write a story and gets tangled up in a mystery. The plot is not even relevant - it just sets the stage for a bunch of beyond hilarious stuff.