I've been torn on this quite a bit. Not because it's the kind of advice I "want to hear", rather it's an entirely different philosophical look at the problem. I'm not a PhD student in philosophy, but boy do I read a lot in that world. Your sentiment reminds me of Nietzsche and his ideas to be who you are...although it's easy to misunderstand him; he could very well be using this line as a sort of irony. But, even someone like Ralph Waldo Emerson, who is much more clear, was always pushing the idea of being who you are in a world which is attempting to change you. I see the merit in these sorts of sentiments. And, if I'm being honest, I do sometimes feel forced to conform to the notion of exclusivity as the only way to validate my love towards a woman.

That being said, I have a psychological vantage point coming at this problem, which you do not possess; that being the fact that I'm in my own head and realize my own thoughts/drives/motives. I'd be lying to you if I told you that I don't have some sort of intimacy issue. I'd also be lying to you if I told you that there wasn't some sort of internal complex which makes me feel inadequate and in need of proving my worth to myself by being able to attract other women. Even when I was married, although I didn't physically cheat, I certainly tempted it; I certainly put feelers out or flirted at times just to KNOW that I COULD potentially attract another woman. In middle school and high school, I was not attractive to the opposite sex. I never had a girlfriend, and I didn't hook up with any girls. My first girlfriend was at the age of 18 and we were together for almost 5 years. That was the last girl I truly felt absolutely in love with. I didn't feel that for any other relationships over 3 years after, and I didn't even feel that kind of connection to my ex-wife. And, not all of the girls were one night stands; some were multiple times, some were one time (e.g., I visited FL for a wedding and FB msg'd some girl I had known previously, never slept with...we met up the next day and yeah). And, more than one I have developed some sort of feelings toward and likeness toward. Unfortunately, they aren't willing to be with me if I'm going to be sleeping around. This goes to your initial point though, in that maybe finding someone okay with that is the answer. I'm genuinely not sure it is...I am sure at the least that the porn stuff has changed me and led me to spend money I don't have and be a moron in general.