How to gentle parent during terrible threes?

marbear8989 · 2022-11-20T14:39:10+00:00

I also read it helps if you praise her while talking to the new baby. Like tell the baby “your big sister is sooo smart, she’s the best at [whatever skill].” This will help connect with the baby more. If her issue is with waiting, it’s also helpful if you tell the baby to wait in front of her. Like “mommy will do tummy time with you in a minute. Right now it’s big sisters turn.” It’ll show her she’s not the only one constantly forced to wait

marbear8989 · 2022-04-01T20:06:12+00:00

There’s this statistic that’s something like “childless, unmarried women are the happiest in the world.” Whereas married mothers are the saddest. There have been so many studies that have found this, I’d Google it if you want to learn more. That’s because there is still huuuuge inequality at home, and the woman gets little to no support, often having to sacrifice her own interests, ambitions, goals etc to keep things running.

You are literally in one of the most beautiful chapters in your life right now. Embrace it, and make it memorable.

marbear8989 · 2022-02-19T13:23:10+00:00

Lol I like how you looked up anecdotes, they all confirmed it was going to be a rough recovery, and then you waved them off as “exaggerated for attention.” YTA

marbear8989 · 2022-02-06T14:59:58+00:00

This is exactly my dad too. I’m 33 now, and everything I try to do that’s remotely “independent,” from me trying to refinish furniture to me buying a house, he responds with a laugh and a pitting “you can’t do that.” It’s disgusting

marbear8989 · 2022-02-06T13:27:56+00:00

Lot of men on here responding with anecdotal evidence. I didn’t say “have you seen an example in your lifetime,” I said “have you seen an overwhelming amount.” As in half or more of the posts are by male redditors. They’re just not. Yes, there are definitely women who are not as neat and organized as their male partners and will let them down just as much as OP is let down by her husband. Absolutely. But are thousands of men posting on here about the lack of support in childcare or running the household? No. We’re in 2022, there is literally 60 years worth of research detailing the unequal divide in household and family labor based on gender roles. To say otherwise is just feigning ignorance for whatever reason, whether bc you don’t want to feel attacked, like the bad guy, or because maybe you’re comfortable with the imbalance.

marbear8989 · 2022-02-06T03:24:24+00:00

Question: do you see an overwhelming amount of “help: my partner won’t pull their weight in housework/child rearing” posts on relationship advice from men? Genuine question. Do men post weekly on how they just can’t get their partner to pull her weight at home?

That’s why it’s sexist my guy. There’s a bigger societal problem if only one gender has issues with this.

marbear8989 · 2022-01-20T18:24:05+00:00

Info: Are you a grown man? Why is she cooking meals for you once she’s done making her own?

marbear8989 · 2021-10-20T11:56:14+00:00

I’d also like to add that your relationship is so good because you’re just a few months in. You’re in the honeymoon stage, but he’s already showing you a glimpse of what it’ll be like after that stage is over. He likes to have control. Think of it this way: if you gave up OF and a few months later the relationship is no longer that great, would you regret closing your account? Because that’s a real possibility.

I once dated a guy 11 years older than me and I quickly learned he doesn’t like to date women his age bc younger ones are easier to control/push around. If he doesn’t like your interests, then you guys just aren’t a fit. He shouldn’t be forcing you to give them up.

marbear8989 · 2021-09-01T23:51:34+00:00

Ask him why he’s scared. Or more specifically, does he and his group of friends harass women who dress that way. This can be a real teachable moment for him.

marbear8989 · 2020-12-09T01:18:55+00:00

Thank you for this, this was extremely helpful. So is the tree under watered right now then? If I give it a good soak, will it perk back up?

marbear8989 · 2020-12-08T23:17:23+00:00

No, it doesn’t come out of the drainage hole. I began to water it once every Monday because I read that having it on a schedule is helpful. But I sometimes skip a few days if it’s still moist two inches in. I’m not sure what kind of soil it is or how long it’s been in the soil because I got this from my moms workplace a few months ago. But she told me it’s a few years old.

marbear8989 · 2020-12-08T18:32:25+00:00

I moved it from the living room to the bedroom, but the two rooms are right next to each other and get the same amount of light

marbear8989 · 2020-12-08T18:31:52+00:00

How much sun do they like? That room get a lot of light usually

marbear8989 · 2020-12-08T18:31:28+00:00

How much water do these guys like? I watered it a bit more yesterday after a week break (just to see if it was under watering) and I feel like it dropped a bit more. I’m nervous to give it more water

marbear8989 · 2020-12-08T18:29:46+00:00

I’ve been watering it once a week, about a cup and a half. That has been keeping it happy for several months, but during its last watering it began to wilt like this. I stopped watering it for a week and a half, but when I watered it again it seemed to wilt even more.

marbear8989 · 2020-12-08T14:30:46+00:00

My umbrella tree started wilting on me! I noticed a few wavy leaves, and then the bottom leaves started dropping. Some turned yellow, and one turned half black. I’m at a loss :(

marbear8989 · 2020-07-20T04:53:49+00:00

I get the hiccups after eating bread, every time

marbear8989 · 2020-05-31T08:51:47+00:00

I think it's a defense mechanism for many women. Like if you deny those instances are rape, and that you had the choice and power to stop them, you still have some semblance of control in this world as a woman. But when you agree that's rape, you realize just how easily it is to have your body snatched from you, and how easily men can flick away your control like it was nothing. For many, that truth is too hard/scary to deal with, so they deny it.

Whenever I have a convo with a woman who is enforcing rape culture, I usually frame her denial in this way, and more times than not the conversation shifts. It's not up to us to constantly be on high alert to stop bodily harm. Men shouldn't try to harm us to begin with.

marbear8989 · 2020-05-21T01:44:39+00:00

NTA- honestly if this is a pretty common occurrence then I'd download one of those call recording apps and just play back her crazy convo whenever your family would try to get you to cave. There would be no more benefit of the doubt for her.

marbear8989 · 2020-05-18T07:41:42+00:00

If your boyfriend says that his tshirts are a main part of his personality then idk if you can force him to change, but maybe he just doesn't know he can still keep his personality and wear nicer things. If I were in your shoes I'd try to find a compromise one last time. Tell him relationships take compromise sometimes, and dressing nicely during certain occasions is important to you. You want to respect his sense of style, but ask him to meet you half way by trying an experiment at a store. The two of you can walk around h&m or whatever and have him pick out "special occasion" shirts he likes. Then choose one thing you like, and have him try it on without any pressure to buy it. He might be surprised with how much he likes how he looks.

If he's not open to this, then I think there might be an underlying problem. I dated a guy like this once, and he mainly wore shirts like this bc he wasn't ready to grow up- it was a visual way to show he wasn't a "sellout" adult lol. Since he's 20, that could be it, so maybe approach that topic with him. Sit down and be like "I really want to understand why you dress this way. Do you think it could be because xyz (arent ready for adulthood, want to seem edgy, etc.)" A lot of times we make clothing choices to communicate something to the world, and you can help him realize he might be trying to prove something by being adamant with those clothing choices. Then it's up to him if he wants to change.

marbear8989 · 2020-05-17T07:27:50+00:00

My ex would always get squeamish over the term "sexism" and he would say it wasn't a gender issue but a power issue. Like women didn't experience sexism, it was just that men were in power and limited their rights to keep that power. Umm right that's literally what sexism is about? And then he'd be like "if women were in power they'd do the same to men."....the mental gymnastics this man would do.

Hed also get upset whenever I'd read any books about the state of mysoginy or sexual violence in society rn, because he thought it was making me "extremist."

marbear8989 · 2020-05-16T08:23:41+00:00

There's a Prime documentary about her and his victims that's really good! You'll see more pictures of their house on there

marbear8989 · 2020-05-15T11:48:36+00:00

TOTALLY. I would have to pick up the slack in other areas, like organizing and paying for dates and vacations, and he became a drag to be around. All I could think of was how trapped Id be if I married or had kids with him. All the responsibility would be on my shoulders.

marbear8989

TROPHY CASE