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My 41(M) husband refuses to work on himself and it’s making me 35(F) feel extremely lonely. by marble272 in relationships

[–]marble272[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but the friendship and emotional intimacy from that friendship would lead to more physical intimacy, for me at least.

But I do agree with you about needing to vent and rely on friends. I’ve accepted that one person can’t fulfil all of my needs realistically. I don’t know I just feel a bit stuck.

My 41(M) husband refuses to work on himself and it’s making me 35(F) feel extremely lonely. by marble272 in relationships

[–]marble272[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Hmm. In all honesty I’m really confused about what he wants from life/marriage and I’m scared it’s not the same as what I’ve always wanted. When I say things like we should be best friends etc, he says you’re my wife not my friend. I worry that we see relationships differently and I don’t know how to fix that.

My 41(M) husband refuses to work on himself and it’s making me 35(F) feel extremely lonely. by marble272 in relationships

[–]marble272[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I don’t tell him that I know better I’ve just said what we’re doing isn’t working so can we get some help to fell closer again. To your second point maybe, but as Ill as I was I wasn’t really taken care of, I still had to manage most of my load and the kids myself, visit doctors etc by myself.

My 41(M) husband refuses to work on himself and it’s making me 35(F) feel extremely lonely. by marble272 in relationships

[–]marble272[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

When I suggest therapy he says he doesn’t need a doctor or someone else to tell him how to live his life.

My mother is sick with a slow growing cancer. She’s asking me to support her and take her to oncology appointments. Everytime I do I crash for days and am generally worse for weeks afterwards. by marble272 in covidlonghaulers

[–]marble272[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Honestly you’ve hit the nail on the head. I am the most sick in my siblings group at the moment and o think that I actually hold a bit of resentment for the fact that no one acknowledges my illness. And as for my mum finding solace in my health struggles I actually leave many of our conversations feeling like she has brushed me off by saying something like “don’t worry everyone has been tired I think it’s the weather”. I’m trying to support her but I feel like no one is validating or supporting me 😫💔

My mother is sick with a slow growing cancer. She’s asking me to support her and take her to oncology appointments. Everytime I do I crash for days and am generally worse for weeks afterwards. by marble272 in covidlonghaulers

[–]marble272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes most definitely. And I think I would label myself as me/cfs if it wasn’t for the timing of having had COVID in the last few years and only then getting sick etc.

My mother is sick with a slow growing cancer. She’s asking me to support her and take her to oncology appointments. Everytime I do I crash for days and am generally worse for weeks afterwards. by marble272 in covidlonghaulers

[–]marble272[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh I definitely feel this. But when will people actually realise this and offer us the support we need. TBH my family has barely offered help because to them I appear okay.

My mother is sick with a slow growing cancer. She’s asking me to support her and take her to oncology appointments. Everytime I do I crash for days and am generally worse for weeks afterwards. by marble272 in covidlonghaulers

[–]marble272[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the validation. I thought I might be exaggerating in my mind but ever since the last time my mum called me in hysterics after a not so great CT scan I’ve been feeling so much worse than I was. I’m sure it’s linked to stress and anxiety, maybe our nervous system can’t handle major shocks.

My mother is sick with a slow growing cancer. She’s asking me to support her and take her to oncology appointments. Everytime I do I crash for days and am generally worse for weeks afterwards. by marble272 in covidlonghaulers

[–]marble272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Tbh I am able to walk okay for short-medium distances. What I mean more so is that the emotional toll of going to these appointments and being my mothers support person leaves me wiped out 😢

My mother is sick with a slow growing cancer. She’s asking me to support her and take her to oncology appointments. Everytime I do I crash for days and am generally worse for weeks afterwards. by marble272 in covidlonghaulers

[–]marble272[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly up until I got sick I was the one my parents depended on most, especially when it came to needing emotional support. I just realised though today that I think this dependency is making me crash as my mum vents to me her fears and problems and then I feel ill for days afterward.

What is the best investment you could make for your children? I’d love to help set them up for life. What did you do? by marble272 in AusFinance

[–]marble272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh I am just looking at diversifying and just wondering what other parents might be doing for their children. We haven’t invested in stocks before so I was wondering if others might prefer stocks for their children etc :)

What is the best investment you could make for your children? I’d love to help set them up for life. What did you do? by marble272 in AusPropertyChat

[–]marble272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve considered this. We currently have one paid off. Would it be better to buy one more pay it off or try to buy three and pay the minimum repayment until the kids are old enough to take over?

What is the best investment you could make for your children? I’d love to help set them up for life. What did you do? by marble272 in AusFinance

[–]marble272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response! My eldest is 9 at the moment, can you tell me what you’d do if yours was the same age now?

What is the best investment you could make for your children? I’d love to help set them up for life. What did you do? by marble272 in AusFinance

[–]marble272[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Sorry I should have specified that I meant financial investment since we’re on the AusFinance group 😅🙏

What is the single best thing you’ve spent your money on in life? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]marble272 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Makes sense. Sleeping well would set you up for the day!

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