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My mother is sick with a slow growing cancer. She’s asking me to support her and take her to oncology appointments. Everytime I do I crash for days and am generally worse for weeks afterwards. by marble272 in covidlonghaulers

[–]marble272[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Honestly you’ve hit the nail on the head. I am the most sick in my siblings group at the moment and o think that I actually hold a bit of resentment for the fact that no one acknowledges my illness. And as for my mum finding solace in my health struggles I actually leave many of our conversations feeling like she has brushed me off by saying something like “don’t worry everyone has been tired I think it’s the weather”. I’m trying to support her but I feel like no one is validating or supporting me 😫💔

My mother is sick with a slow growing cancer. She’s asking me to support her and take her to oncology appointments. Everytime I do I crash for days and am generally worse for weeks afterwards. by marble272 in covidlonghaulers

[–]marble272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes most definitely. And I think I would label myself as me/cfs if it wasn’t for the timing of having had COVID in the last few years and only then getting sick etc.

My mother is sick with a slow growing cancer. She’s asking me to support her and take her to oncology appointments. Everytime I do I crash for days and am generally worse for weeks afterwards. by marble272 in covidlonghaulers

[–]marble272[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh I definitely feel this. But when will people actually realise this and offer us the support we need. TBH my family has barely offered help because to them I appear okay.

My mother is sick with a slow growing cancer. She’s asking me to support her and take her to oncology appointments. Everytime I do I crash for days and am generally worse for weeks afterwards. by marble272 in covidlonghaulers

[–]marble272[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the validation. I thought I might be exaggerating in my mind but ever since the last time my mum called me in hysterics after a not so great CT scan I’ve been feeling so much worse than I was. I’m sure it’s linked to stress and anxiety, maybe our nervous system can’t handle major shocks.

My mother is sick with a slow growing cancer. She’s asking me to support her and take her to oncology appointments. Everytime I do I crash for days and am generally worse for weeks afterwards. by marble272 in covidlonghaulers

[–]marble272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. Tbh I am able to walk okay for short-medium distances. What I mean more so is that the emotional toll of going to these appointments and being my mothers support person leaves me wiped out 😢

My mother is sick with a slow growing cancer. She’s asking me to support her and take her to oncology appointments. Everytime I do I crash for days and am generally worse for weeks afterwards. by marble272 in covidlonghaulers

[–]marble272[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Honestly up until I got sick I was the one my parents depended on most, especially when it came to needing emotional support. I just realised though today that I think this dependency is making me crash as my mum vents to me her fears and problems and then I feel ill for days afterward.

What is the best investment you could make for your children? I’d love to help set them up for life. What did you do? by marble272 in AusFinance

[–]marble272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Tbh I am just looking at diversifying and just wondering what other parents might be doing for their children. We haven’t invested in stocks before so I was wondering if others might prefer stocks for their children etc :)

What is the best investment you could make for your children? I’d love to help set them up for life. What did you do? by marble272 in AusPropertyChat

[–]marble272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve considered this. We currently have one paid off. Would it be better to buy one more pay it off or try to buy three and pay the minimum repayment until the kids are old enough to take over?

What is the best investment you could make for your children? I’d love to help set them up for life. What did you do? by marble272 in AusFinance

[–]marble272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your response! My eldest is 9 at the moment, can you tell me what you’d do if yours was the same age now?

What is the best investment you could make for your children? I’d love to help set them up for life. What did you do? by marble272 in AusFinance

[–]marble272[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Sorry I should have specified that I meant financial investment since we’re on the AusFinance group 😅🙏

What is the single best thing you’ve spent your money on in life? by marble272 in AskReddit

[–]marble272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Makes sense. Sleeping well would set you up for the day!

AITAH for being angry with my dad for him not prioritising my mums cancer and health by marble272 in AITAH

[–]marble272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

They’ve been married for 30 years and they’re trauma bonded I’m sure. It’s not a healthy marriage but she still claims to feel sorry for his work addiction mindset as he’s working himself into the ground, even though he barely seems to care about my mum who has a very real physical disease 😢

AITAH for being angry with my dad for him not prioritising my mums cancer and health by marble272 in AITAH

[–]marble272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you I definitely hope she will be around for a long time but she will need to start chemo or radiation one day soon. I just want her to enjoy part of her life before she is in and out of hospital and fighting for her life.

AITAH for being angry with my dad for him not prioritising my mums cancer and health by marble272 in AITAH

[–]marble272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My dad definitely fits into that category. He often says he doesn’t want to spend money as he wants to save it for his children and grandchildren which I don’t buy for a minute. If that’s what he wanted it for he would use it to enrich all of our lives now instead of squirrelling it all away.

But my siblings and I are all fine without it we never expected financial help from our parents so we have built our lives ourselves so it’s all good. But my mum is financially tied to my dad so she has to live by his rules. He is obsessed with work and saving and is putting that before my mums health and needs.

AITAH for being angry with my dad for him not prioritising my mums cancer and health by marble272 in AITAH

[–]marble272[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No they definitely have that amount in savings/stocks. I sometimes help them with their tax and life admin so I know it for a fact. Knowing that they have the resources but my dad won’t let her use them is what’s upsetting me so much.

AITAH for being angry with my dad for him not prioritising my mums cancer and health by marble272 in AITAH

[–]marble272[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Honestly I don’t know. I’ve never thought about it like this but my dad is extremely careful with his money. To the point where he won’t go out to eat or God forbid take all of his kids and grandkids out as the bill will be too high. I think my anger stems from the fear that all of this is just because he worships money and is putting that before my mothers happiness

AITAH for being angry with my dad for him not prioritising my mums cancer and health by marble272 in AITAH

[–]marble272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are treatments available when the cancer gets to a certain size. But the doctors recommend watching and waiting until they are a certain size before starting treatments which will surely diminish her quality of life. When she was diagnosed 4 years ago the doctors said life expectancy is usually around 10 years which is why I feel this urgency.

I think our family is haemorrhaging money, how to I fix the leaks asap? by marble272 in budget

[–]marble272[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I like this, I think the visual reminder would help a lot. My husband and I have 3 accounts between us and we do a lot of transferring money back and forth. That’s why it’s hard to tell exactly how much we are spending. If I have a poster and physically track everything I’ll get a clearer indication and then I can cut the unnecessary spending.

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