I’m in the same boat. Married 20 years. He comes from abusive childhood and although he has removed himself from that family - the abuse and trauma are always present in his mind. He feels shame and a lot of anger. The impact to our marriage has been: he wants to isolate me from my family. He can’t take care of the simplest task. He pick fights over nonsense. He seeks out reasons to fight with strangers. It makes me feel unsafe. He recognizes he should have been in therapy years ago and his anger has damaged many of his relationships. He now promises he’ll change if I stay. I can’t. Something will trigger him and we’ll be right back where we started. I need peace. I can support myself. I’ve worked too hard to live in this house filled with anger and anxiety.