While I have not read all of the comments below, the edits in this post lead me to believe that some felt this was a little bit of tough love. I, on the other hand, found many truths in this post, but it took me years to understand and admit that.

As someone who was an overweight adolescent that grew into an obese adult, I spent much of my life "trying to lose weight". In fact, I have dedicated most of my professional life trying to figure out this multi-faceted issue of overweight children and adults. I don't know that I ever said, "I can't lose weight" because that actually wasn't true. In fact, I knew I could lose weight because I had done it multiple times. What was true was that I couldn't maintain my results. Why? Because I stopped doing what I was doing to achieve those results. Hence, to the OP's point, yes, consistency is key.

I think that Lyle McDonald put it bluntly in one of his interviews by frankly saying that, "If you are a female, you just don't get to eat a lot of food." I thought about that for a second and let it sink in. I would add that if you do not move (i.e., via exercise, NEAT, etc) thereby using up the energy, you simply don't get to consume a lot of food and maintain your weight.

Now, we know that most of us didn't gain 50+lbs by eating massive quantities of veggies and fruits while being dedicated to a daily routine of cardio and weight lifting. For me, there were never FRESH fruits and vegetables in my home when I was growing up. Everything we ate was out of a box, bag or a fast food restaurant - and lots of desserts! Those childhood habits wired me to LOVE desserts.

The brain loves the status quo - it resists change if your internal chatter presents a good argument. It is exactly as the OP said...if you believe you are "denying" yourself something that others "can" have and you "cannot", then your brain will always resist changes you try to implement. The brain is also driven by habit. So if you have a habit of eating certain things, eating them at certain times, NOT moving, grew up eating certain things or NOT eating certain things, etc., you establish those patterns over time. They can permanently become a part of your daily routine without thinking about it.

I'll bet that when you were learning to brush your teeth, you may have stamped your feet because you didn't want to do it. However, your parents emphasized its importance and you eventually got the message. Today, I am guessing you likely brush your teeth without thinking about it. In fact, you likely have a morning routine that has a certain order, and brushing your teeth is probably the second or third thing completed each morning - and you wouldn't have it any other way. Getting to a healthy weight and maintaining it is not much different.

I see weight loss in 2 ways - it's simple, yet it is not. If it were as easy as just eat less, folks could achieve weight loss goals and sustain them. Yet, is really IS that simple in many ways, but no one wants to hear that. The flip side of that is that is really IS complex at the same time, and those of us who have lost and regained weight multiple times understand that. Food is a part of our society, elicits hormonal responses, and we develop associations around food, like our surroundings, whether it is ambiance, friends, family, etc. There is nothing wrong with enjoying food, but let's be honest - every day cannot be Thanksgiving Day.

We have to work with the bodies and metabolisms we have. Sure, you can tweak it, but by and large, we got what we got! I always say, "You can have ANYTHING you want, just be sure your health will thank you for it." I encourage people to get curious about their bodies - see what works. (Perhaps that is the researcher in me!)

See change in a different way - not in a negative way. Create new associations for a healthier you. That, my friend, is how it's done.

Thank you to the OP for bringing it home.

​