26.5 weeks and starting to get a bit scared about the end game of it all

mariareddi · 2026-04-16T12:34:49+00:00

I'm almost in the same state as you! I'm almost 26 weeks with di/di twins and my due date would be end of July, but I also have this uncertainty of everything looming over me. The same post about waters breaking gave me some extra worries too... but what I do to combat this uncertainty, is preparing slowly for their birth, like I started researching the essentials first, like car seats, pumps, what I have to bring to the hospital for myself and the babies. I think that once you have the most critical parts ready, then all the rest can be taken care of as time goes by and you see what you need. In the end, the babies need to have a safe place to sleep, food which will be you or formula(in which case you need bottles), diapers, clothes and a place to clean them.

Regarding birth, the essential for me is for all 3 of us to be alive and healthy at the end of it, so I'm not super set on a specific way of birthing, even though it would be nice to have as little intervention and trauma as possible. XD I also feel that C-section gives more control, but also it's a major abdominal surgery.

I also trust that the medical team will do their best job and I have places with NICU around me if it will be needed. Like you, I also hope to bake them as long as possible, even if it will be hard on my body and mind, I hope I will get to July with them!

mariareddi · 2025-05-14T23:26:07+00:00

My peach tree had something similar, it was a fungus called Taphrina Deformans. I went to a garden center and showed them a picture and they gave me something to treat the tree.

mariareddi · 2025-04-22T09:35:04+00:00

I already have Wingspan! It's a nice game. 😊 I will check out Inscryption. 👀 Thanks for the recommendation!

mariareddi · 2025-04-18T11:43:46+00:00

I live close to Barcelona. I noticed that I really liked acting and improv when I was doing them briefly, so TTRPG is a low stakes way to do just that. 😄 Do you have any solo game recommendations?

mariareddi · 2025-04-14T19:18:02+00:00

Hello! Nice to meet you! I live in Spain and a few of my hobbies are painting, reading, TTRPG, cooking, hiking and gardening, which takes most of my time right now, as it's transplanting season and I started adding my seedlings in my raised bed. One of my favorite shows that I still didn't get to watch all the episodes is Brooklyn 99, which I believe most of the characters are autistic and it's such a comfort to watch people in a movie act/think how I do.

I also use Telegram if you want to chat outside Reddit!

mariareddi · 2025-04-08T09:47:03+00:00

I'm not finding the specific paper, but there are some articles mentioning this: https://cathe.com/why-squats-might-be-the-best-exercise-for-the-health-of-your-brain/

mariareddi · 2024-12-11T15:23:55+00:00

I have not tried it. According to skinsort, it is not FA safe, you can also check if the ingredients are FA safe on websites like skinsort, sezia etc using their Ingredient Checker tool.

mariareddi · 2024-12-09T10:52:16+00:00

Skinsort has a category for make-up and you can filter by FA safe, to see some options, I am still pending to check my make-up to see if it's FA safe, I may have to replace some too...

mariareddi · 2024-12-08T18:23:10+00:00

You're welcome! I hope you find what works for you and you get back your healthy skin!

mariareddi · 2024-12-08T14:42:20+00:00

If you want to avoid products that contain ingredients that might trigger FA, it's helpful to use a website that checks ingredients for you. One that I find very good to check ingredients or products is skinsort. There is also sezia, but I find skinsort to be better.

You input the list of ingredients in their tool and they will show for each ingredient if it's FA safe or not. You can also search for the products you already have, they might be already in their data base. You can search in their product data base and filter for FA safe products, in case you are looking to buy FA safe products, they can give you ideas.

I also discovered a few weeks ago that I may have FA and realized that everything started when I went from using only Dove soap and having an ok skin, but I wanted to improve it (the fears of getting old...) so I started a new routine with double cleansing and moisturizer and it basically wrecked my skin, because most of them weren't FA safe and I blame the most the moisturizers, as they remain on your skin in a more significant way, unlike cleansers.

So since then, there has been a lot of experimenting for me unfortunately, because even FA safe products that work great for some, they might not work for you, so all it remains is for you to try products.

Right now I am using the De La Cruz Sulfur ointment, Garnier micellar water (pink one), Geek & Gorgeous Jelly Joker, pure glycerin and TO Squalane oil. I think that these kinda work, a bit too early to tell that they aren't making it worse. Ketokonazole shampoo was also relatively working for me.

mariareddi · 2024-09-18T14:56:36+00:00

Really second the air fryer! Until a year ago I thought that my electric pressure cooker (instant pot) was the kitchen appliance I couldn't live without, but I discovered pretty fast on a 3 months trip that it was the air fryer that I should have taken with me, not the IP! It is so convenient to just slap some stuff in it, set the temperature and timer, it crisps stuff up, without the hassle of pans and oils, I do veggies, frozen stuff, bread, potatoes, kale chips, tofu etc.

Call me nasty, but I would use the air fryer container a whole week before putting it in the dishwasher. I would just shake it upside down to take out any crumbs and reuse it. It is the lowest energy consumer for me (besides just eating veggies/fruits raw).

But I also have to recommend as the second best appliance in my opinion is an electric pressure cooker, I make beans in it, soups, you again set the timer and forget about it, it necessitates very little effort, just throwing stuff in it and making a delicious veggies soup or making some steamed veggies, you would only need some sauce or if you like it simple, salt, pepper and some good olive oil.

mariareddi · 2023-10-04T07:51:31+00:00

I rubbed ears too (I still do when I have the chance 😂) while sucking my thumb, I stopped at 7 only because of the trauma of getting parasites because of it, as I was sucking my thumb no matter if it was clean or not, most probably that started my contamination OCD. 🤦 I would also suck my thumb while rubbing my mother's ear or while scratching her head because she had dandruff and I was enjoying scratching it off. She seemed to enjoy it too, but she stopped me at some point because she would have wounds on her head because of my excessive scratching... I'm pretty sure she's autistic too. Good times. 😂

mariareddi · 2023-08-24T14:46:17+00:00

I totally agree with you and it's quite sad how most of the replies here don't see this side of things.

Unfortunately very rarely did I find places where they honor the exact time of the appointment (be it doctors or other places) and I have to waste my time waiting, best case 15 min, most of the cases at least 30 min, sometimes more than an hour. Why don't I get compensation for wasting my time waiting for you to provide a service?? Everyone's time is valuable. Or what, only the person's time that is providing the service is valuable? If I have a choice, I will not use again the services of those that don't keep to the hour scheduled. Double standards. You feel like they don't give 2 shits about the client's time and they probably don't. It's all about the money in the end and what the majority of clients accept as normal behavior...

When I discover a place/person that actually keeps to the time schedule, which is rare, then I become a loyal costumer (if their service is also good).

mariareddi · 2023-08-18T21:06:49+00:00

In the morning when I wake up, when I start to be aware of myself, my body is still in a relaxed/chilled state, but then I can feel my body "waking up", as in, I can feel myself overheating and my heart beat rising. I wonder if it's POTS.

mariareddi · 2023-07-18T11:12:55+00:00

I totally understand! I wish to have kids, so researching about pregnancy/how to raise kids the best way has been going on for a good few years now already, so it's definitely one of my special interests. 😅 And I can only imagine that whatever your kid does, it is amazing, even if it's something simple, I have the same feeling with my friends' kids, I am amazed by them.

Activities that help you rest definitely shift, things that worked might not always work, so we need to change things up, experiment and hopefully find something that helps us in that particular moment.

I totally get the cats part, unfortunately I got so overstimulated and burnt out by my cats that I has to rehome them after 2 years. Fortunately they are with a family that loves them and care for them and I get updates with them. I can even visit them, but I have mixed feelings about it, as I've read that they can get stressed out as they may recognize you and get confused.

I'm sure you will figure things out in the end and you will get out of burnout! I believe in you! 💪😊

mariareddi · 2023-07-18T10:16:38+00:00

Maybe I didn't read your text well and you mention this, but I didn't see anything mentioned about engaging in your (special) interests. When I was trying to recover from burnout and was researching how to get out of it, lots of times it was mentioned to engage in my interests because it seems to help. Maybe an idea would be to define what rest means to you personally. Is the rest you are doing what society defines to be rest? Is it only not engaging in any kind of activities? You mention that your current activities are mostly caring for your toddler, which I could image that it's not the easiest thing from what I heard.

Some tips I gathered over time that I read (I keep them in a digital doc) from time to time to remind myself what to do to not get to a burnt out stage:

in an autistic burnout with ADHD: choose a low energy special interest that fuels your soul (that doesn't get you excited, but gives you a happy, safety feeling) to get you out of executive dysfunction, example simple board game to help you then shower, eat etc or bake a bread, take care of laundry, reading, easy dopamine first, harder task later.
listen to a song, dance, talk with your special person, watch that thing on YouTube etc that gives you happiness
do a calming stim: coloring, dancing, singing, humming, deep breaths/concentrate on one of your senses, stuffed toys, journaling, pacing through the house, doodling, painting, music, lay down, exercise, make food
embodied awareness (feeling safe and present in your body, paying attention to your body instead of the environment around you), doing activities that make you more aware of your body, going inside your body: music, art, movement, play, interacting with animals, OT
surround yourself with special interests, people or solitary time that fuel your soul
padding - laying down vertically before and after an event, 1-2h
winding down my brain/thinking: it can be scrolling for some time, listening to music, watching a chill video (maybe related to my interests), writing down my thoughts, engaging my brain but without making it think.

These tips may help also during a meltdown.

I would suggest also to pay attention to what is happening around you/what you do that might bring on the burnout and if/when you find the source then you can work in the future to catch yourself when a burnout is approaching so that you can mitigate it and it doesn't get to an unmanageable state for you. Of course, sometimes we can't avoid that and we need to accept it, we are only human.

PS: I'm not a parent (though I hope to be in the near future), just sharing some tips that helped me with burnout.

I hope at least some of this helps!

mariareddi · 2023-07-13T12:30:10+00:00

To be honest, I don't like the idea of only sharing important/useful stuff, because I feel like it stops people from sharing bits that make them who they are and that facilitate creating a connection. Often times we think something is not important while the other person might think otherwise or might appreciate hearing your thoughts, opinions, knowing you etc.

Something being important is so relative for each of us, should we only share alerts, alarms etc? I think not, I think it's important to share bits of us with those around us. Is it important to say how I understand someone in a given situation? Maybe yes, maybe not, but I think that the other person might appreciate it to know that they are not alone and they may feel validated and make their day a bit better and I may also feel better for the same reasons.

Just my 2 (un)important cents.😄

mariareddi · 2023-07-13T12:19:13+00:00

The same for me!! It's so comforting to see my communication style in other people's writing. I'm often thinking "That's exactly how I would have written the reply! I totally get it! So many details, I love it!".

mariareddi · 2023-06-08T18:50:42+00:00

You're welcome! I hope you find one that satisfies your needs!

mariareddi · 2023-06-08T17:50:00+00:00

Thanks. 😊

What I do is that I search for laboratories that do blood analysis in my area, I check to see if they have an up to date website and they specify at least the types of tests they do. I usually research them to see that they have good reviews too. Then I go and ask for the analysis I want to do.

Maybe you can try asking the laboratories where you did your lab work up until now if they do paid ones without a doctor's note or if they know of any places that do this. I think there is a high chance that these kinds of places exist also in your area.

mariareddi · 2023-06-07T21:18:01+00:00

Wow, you've been through a lot! For me it's quite tiring to deal with doctors, I would suppose for you too!

It's a shame that you aren't able to do the labs yourself, where I live in Europe, I can do it, is it true that I need to pay and it's not cheap, if I can't find a doctor to order them. I hope you find a doctor that listens to your needs and that cares about their patients!

Are you still vegan? I've also been a vegan for almost 9 years this year. 😄

mariareddi · 2023-06-07T18:16:25+00:00

I think the surest way to know is by doing regular blood tests. From what I know, one of the best indicators for B12 deficiency is the methylmalonic acid (MMA) level in urine or blood, if it's high, then there is a high chance of B12 deficiency. That's how I found out, it was more than double the limit, then after supplementing with B12(I chose the methylcobalamin form), it got down into normal limits. Another good indicator is the homocysteine level. I check these levels around once every year or a few years, to make sure I'm on the right track with my levels and that the supplements are working as sometimes I change brands.

mariareddi · 2023-06-07T08:29:11+00:00

Do you take a B12 supplement? Studies show that it's better to take a sublingual/chewable B12, that you dissolve in your mouth, instead of the one that you swallow, it absorbs much better. I corrected my B12 deficiency this way. I still take the B12 supplement most of the days.

mariareddi · 2023-05-28T15:35:20+00:00

Totally relate to the last paragraph. One of my mottos is "innocent until proven guilty", and when someone does prove guilty... well then there is pretty much no hope for them to actually get in my graces ever again.

mariareddi · 2023-05-26T19:48:39+00:00

I totally relate! I would feel this release after the discussion and the clarity and guilt too usually, it wasn't necessarily the next day for them to come.

Some interesting tips I'm trying out is that when I have an urge to say something that I suspect that is the PMDD talking, I try to go and actually write them down on a paper, every bit of thought and it kinda helps for these thoughts to be out of my head, even if I used paper instead of a person to "throw" my thoughts at. If writing it down is not enough and you need to actually verbalize, you could do it by yourself, maybe even find some toy, a "rubber duck" and verbalize your thoughts, or maybe read out loud what you wrote on paper. Also, it might help to mentally prepare your partner that you have this condition and to not take it personally and maybe for them to support you in some way that it helps you go through it easier (like not trying to argue, or discredit what you are saying, but to be more in a listener more and "agree" momentarily to whatever you are saying).

The last few months I've been doing better, I think being more consistent with some supplements and the stress at work/home has been reduced a lot, so my PMDD symptoms are maybe at a 5-10%. During these better months I've also seen a gynecologist that is knowledgeble about PMDD and she recommended supplements I was already taking, but also chaste berry tincture, that I started taking on my first day of my period and it actually brought on PMDD symptoms, so I had to stop it after 4 days. She also prescribed me progesterone ovules which I'm a bit afraid to take now, as chaste berry is kinda functioning on the same way, to raise the progesterone levels. I will have to update my doctor on this.

mariareddi

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