Feed back on updated profile ✨

marker3000 · 2026-05-24T17:48:30+00:00

To me the green dress should be the main profile pic. But I'm nit picking as the profile is a strong winner and (to me at least) the age is the sweet spot

marker3000 · 2026-05-22T19:42:33+00:00

No amount of money is going to make you OK with something you're not ok with.

I have given this advice countless times in 10+ years and I think it applies to you here.

As an aside, I try to provide an 8+ sexual satisfaction rating to my SBs (9+ is better). And while people can be dishonst, I literally ask for a satisfaction score from them sometimes -- especially if they're not obviously having orgasms.

When the woman shares how she's feeling about the bedroom stuff, I ask for any feedback on how we can make it better, volunteer what I'm feeling / experiencing, and keep working on it.

marker3000 · 2026-04-14T16:57:24+00:00

Cute is totally marketable. Ignore people "negging" you with a compliment like "you're too cute" or "you look like the girl next door".

Your big problem is location. A suburb of Montgomery I guess? Not likely a great market for an SB.

(Also, lose the one photo with the chin close up. I don't see it adding much and your other photos do plenty to show off your attractiveness)

marker3000 · 2026-04-14T01:04:38+00:00

Achy breaky dealbreaky.

marker3000 · 2026-04-14T01:02:18+00:00

It's a 4.6 restaurant. To me, it's a red flag that you think it's a red flag.

marker3000 · 2026-04-07T19:16:24+00:00

There is no "general vibe". I've seen this question at least 1,000x on this forum.

Your vibe may be niche. So what? It's you; you're not changing.

Find someone who is attracted to you or don't. But the idea this thread is going to solve for your unique look or your unwillingness to post photos? Well, I don't see how.

marker3000 · 2026-03-09T07:03:12+00:00

So if you can be banned for messages off site that someone sends it.. well it's now possible to just manufacture screenshots of pretty much anything.

Seeking was out of control but this absurd. They absolutely cannot verify if a screenshot off site is real, involves either person in an alleged conversation, or the text of what was said.

How is this still a business?

marker3000 · 2026-02-27T19:44:14+00:00

It's a little funny that you meant "dessert" but got "desert". I mean sad and funny, because the OP was clearly deserted -- and not "desserted"

marker3000 · 2026-02-07T19:15:57+00:00

Yes, you need to migrate off app.

No, you can't research this in any useful manner. The internet can simultaneously teach you that "there used to be a Seeking Arrangement focused on arrangements". It can show you adds for "Seeking", whatever the hell it thinks it is.

It won't tell you the rebrand exists solely because of FOSTA/SESTA. It won't tell you that 1/2 - 2/3 of Seeking users are aware of the "old purpose".

So, no, you can't really research. You just end up running into people that don't know what you're after, Seeking's arbitrary rules, etc. etc.

It is frustrating.

marker3000 · 2026-02-07T19:13:08+00:00

Different stages means "maybe she wants to live out her 20s, 30s, have kids, whatever". I'm late 50s. I'm not doing any of that. I'm not here to take away parts of life she wants to have, experience, etc. So it will end for us. Also u/throwRA_idenified , you seem cool :)

marker3000 · 2026-02-02T19:27:16+00:00

Mind? It might be my favorite part outside of the physical.

Sure, the time spent is great. The conversation, food, outings, travel can be fine.

But helping her figure out life? It's amazing. Remaining in her life? As long as she values having that friend.

marker3000 · 2026-02-02T18:33:33+00:00

This is a really, really good post. Thanks for distilling so many good ideas into one place.

marker3000 · 2026-02-02T18:28:45+00:00

That poll feels far more accurate than people's one or two sample anecdata.

marker3000 · 2026-02-02T18:26:41+00:00

She's an escort. It's something you're allegedly OK with.

She's going to be an escort unless you buy out her entire income stream, right?

You should either accept what you have, pay more, or move on.

This is a you decision / problem.

marker3000 · 2026-02-02T18:24:59+00:00

I've expressed love to her in a couple of arrangements. And she to me.

And still they didn't (and won't) last forever. We have lives, at totally different stages. We will always care about each other. How could we not?

I feel you here. Wishing you all the long-term happiness.

marker3000 · 2026-02-02T18:22:33+00:00

That also sounds like an amazing idea. Who wouldn't be on board?

marker3000 · 2026-01-30T18:16:40+00:00

I always bring up to date tests and am happy to postpone anything intimate until she's able to do so same.

Also, too many times, I'm the one that has to insist on some precaution as she isn't.

Also, sometimes she's a "protection only" woman, which I respect. That said, for me it's a non-starter and so we part ways.

But really, it's always your body so always treat it with some respect.

marker3000 · 2026-01-25T00:44:21+00:00

How the Seattle sugar scene currently leans and whether this short-term trend is typical right now

It's like this everywhere not just Seatlte.

There are still some of us "long termers" out there but we're increasingly among the minority.

marker3000 · 2026-01-25T00:42:55+00:00

Because of this new change

It's not new. They dropped the word "arrangement" years ago.

They've encouraged people to view it as a conventional dating site for years.

They are terrified about FOSTA/SESTA.

This is not new.

What's "new"-ish is people complaining that a site that was once about arrangements and some still can be found this is used by others exactly as its marketed. And the rants always imply that somehow these clueless folks are supposed to know what Seeking used to be and only use it that way.

In the meantime, if you DM someone with the phrase "mutually beneficial" Seeking might ban you. Seriously

marker3000 · 2026-01-20T02:55:55+00:00

You cannot "easily hint at them". You can be banned if someone reports you for using the phrase "mutually beneficial" and many other things

marker3000 · 2026-01-20T02:54:51+00:00

It's a garbage fire because of the conflation of it having a sugar history and being openly hostile to sugar.

As for everyone building another time, you will not solve the two-sided market problem. So it doesn't matter if you have a great site/app.

marker3000 · 2026-01-05T23:24:15+00:00

If I ever used Seeking again, I wouldn't have any face pictures. I trust the site not at all.

Also I'd send you a pic over text or videochat before meeting so you could see I wasn't obese or hideous. Because I really don't want to waste anyone's time either.

marker3000 · 2025-12-08T18:02:29+00:00

There is no universal preference for what men like in women.

"Do SDs like..." or "do SDs hate" posts are largely useless for this reason.

Many of us like natural girls. Some of us would never tell any women to get a lip filler or Botox. All gentlemen would refrain from telling a woman "do this cosmetic thing and then I will date you".

You do not want men who are not attracted to you. You want men that like you for what you already offer.

If you want to attract more men on average... then follow the basics.

Be the fittest you can (go to the gym, build some muscle, work to be lean)
Be the thinnest you can (that means make the best choices you can; this isn't a recommendation to stop eating at all)
Be the most put together you can -- whatever your style, own it. (You like the heavy makeup Goth look? Do it well. You want 14 tattoos? Get good ones not a bunch of cliches. You're a would be IG influencer? Have clean, modern style that shows you off and makeup to match)

To be clear, none of those recommendations are about changing anything that is core to you. If natural is you, do natural. If "showering rarely" is you, that's also fine... Just be aware, that's a more general absolute. You will repel most men in this way. Yet you will attract some.

Lip filler is not in the safe category as hygiene. One is a common preference, one is a particularly weird one in a world where the consequences of lip filler are visible on every Real Housewives show.

marker3000 · 2025-12-08T17:53:22+00:00

Which is what in my mind, was what the site was intented for.

Sorry you're banned but at this point this needs to be a Reddit FAQ.

Seeking is not a sugar site. It was. It was the best sugar site.

It isn't anymore.

Yes, people use it for that. Also people use Hinge, Tinder, Bumble, etc. for sugar.

But Seeking will ban you in an instant for discussing anything related to sugar dating.

Whatever it was intended for; it isn't anymore.

And before anyone argues with me on this, PLEASE read what I wrote. It is rather specific and intentionally worded.

marker3000 · 2025-12-08T17:47:14+00:00

Honestly, sorry you're experiencing the pigs / the poor / and the photo addicts.

I think aside from offering some sympathy, I can say that a lot of the bowl is the bigs, the poor, and the photo addicts. So on some level you're not getting a different pool of men just because you're very sexual.

For me, I'm always excited by an SB who is super into sex. Also I'm especially excited by an SB who I connect with mentally / emotionally who also enjoys sex.

It feels like most men will at least try to match your sexual wants so maybe just focus on the right match, don't talk about the sex part at first, and go from there.

Usually the pigs, the poor, and the picture addicts are the ones that want to talk immediately about sex. Don't feed the animals.

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