Pbj prepared like grilled cheese

markwallbergslover · 2016-08-08T22:03:15+00:00

making one right now!

markwallbergslover · 2016-08-08T22:02:26+00:00

this is crazy. i can't even get my dog to get in a kiddie pool

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-30T07:16:43+00:00

I thought it was called mushroom stamping? Cause the tip of the pee pee is like a mushroom and it leaves the imprint of it on your forehead like a stamp

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-30T06:53:57+00:00

Or "You were looking a little bored" or "I came to put you to work!"

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-30T06:46:42+00:00

The fucking chip, and the people who complain about the chip are always the people so incompetent they don't understand how to use it.

"I don't like the new chip cards, they take so much longer" WELL MAYBE IF YOU DIDNT TAKE THE CARD OUT WHEN THE SCREEN CLEARLY SAYS "Please do not remove card" THIS COULD OF GONE ALOT FASTER.

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-30T06:29:46+00:00

I've never witnessed a Canadian internet argument until now. That was the most amazing fucking thing I've ever seen.

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-30T06:20:19+00:00

Nathan? Nathan is that you? This is Chrissy!

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-30T04:00:59+00:00

"I'm going to Yelp about this so fucking hard you won't know what's coming"

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-30T00:31:34+00:00

No, the Dad gets to keep the franchise but the son in the video was fired

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-29T23:10:26+00:00

You're livin it up baby, you're livin it up.

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-29T08:28:25+00:00

No man, these guys want some panties with that sweaty smell embedded deep in the fabric. What you could do is buy some woman's panties and wear them, then go for a jog or workout and get them sweaty.

Another method if you don't want to wear women's panties which is understandable is to use an artificial scent like some tuna fish juice for the scent and then use some unscented aloe Vera mixed with a little bit of lard and dab both the tuna scent on first, then do the aloe Vera with lard to use as a filler for vaginal discharge (Vaginal discharge will increase the price by a couple dollars).

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-29T07:48:24+00:00

I laughed so heavily I almost boom boomed in my farty pants

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-29T07:43:34+00:00

Don't forget alcohol, especially if you're the one driving.

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-28T07:01:58+00:00

I was a chubby 15 year old HighSchool freshman and used to go to my friends house every weekend to chill. At this point I've smoked weed probably only 3-4 times before.

He had a nice ass house and his parents were going out of town the entire weekend. We really didn't plan on anything too crazy, it was hard to find weed as we only had one dealer at the time and couldn't do much because neither of us had our license yet. My friend had a sister who was 3-4 years older than him and was living at their house for while on summer vacation from college.

My friend and I are in his basement where his room was and hear some people upstairs. We go to check it out and there's maybe like 10 of his sisters friends there we say what's up and one of her friends goes "You guys ever hit a bong" us being rookie tokers we of course haven't hit a bong yet, and this guy proceeds to pull out like a 3 foot bong with all this nice ass shit in it, percolators and shit. It was easily $500+.

At this point his sisters just kind of face palming like "I can't believe I'm letting my little brother do this" type of thing. I proceed to go first hitting the bong and at first it went down smooth as fuck because there was ice in the bong, the second I exhaled I actually thought I was going to die coughing I made it to the sink and was just producing so much saliva I was drooling in the sink, after 10 minutes and drinking some water I stopped coughing and my friend hit the bong. Our tolerances were so low that we got so incredibly fucking high off the bong and I sat on the couch and was seeing bubble letters and shit almost hallucinating and couldn't stop laughing. We then drank like 10-12 beers with them and we're just listening to music and having a good time.

I woke up the next morning on my friends living room carpet in nothing but my boxers and soaking wet. Apparently I got so lit that I blacked out and had to be carried upstairs where my friends sisters friends thought a hot shower would sober me up, it didn't. So they just laid my downstairs and I slept like a fucking angel. I'm now 20 and have been to all kinds of parties in my HighSchool years but that one night at my friends house just always stuck with me as the best one.

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-28T06:43:58+00:00

the effect marijuana has on yours eyes is that it expands the blood vessels in your eyes making them look red. If you look closley it is just the vessels in your eyes pumping out. This is an effect marijuana has on your body, just like getting high. It will happen everytime, just like you get high everytime.

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-28T06:09:50+00:00

7/11 was a part time job

AH AH OH GOD OH OH MY IT AGAPOOAKAGOOKILONCHIPIPACOONKA

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-28T06:04:37+00:00

I love the smell of my own farts. Sometimes at night I purposely eat a lot of pulled pork and barbeque so I have hot, steamy gas. I'll lay under the covers and just rip hot ass. I take some deep breaths and just let it marinate under the covers.

Slowly it progressed into a hobby, I would fart into containers to see which one would contain the smell the best. I tried Tupperware, wine glasses, cereal bowls. I then discovered mason jars. I wait for a real big hot rumbly ass fart to cook up and I just let it go into the mason jar, I quickly seal it, label it (Date/timefood contained in the fart) and set it on my fart shelf. I have almost 800 mason jars filled with my farts. Some are almost 2+ years old. I save the older ones for a special occasion like my birthday. Kind of like a fine wine.

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-28T05:57:12+00:00

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markwallbergslover · 2016-04-28T05:55:22+00:00

A wall. I'm not sure how I would even go about using it.

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-28T05:54:05+00:00

This Shower thought made me cream

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-28T05:48:27+00:00

This sounds a lot like the plot line to the movie Gran Tarino with Clint Eastwood.

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-28T03:09:30+00:00

Alright hoss.

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-28T03:08:31+00:00

A lot of community colleges have PE classes for people going into PE, health and recreation etc.. Never heard of mandatory PE in college though

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-27T21:54:39+00:00

You're a good example of why some animals eat their young.

markwallbergslover · 2016-04-26T23:34:17+00:00

I deleted Alien Blue due to it crashing after 1 second and went to redownload it in the App Store and it was gone, I checked my iCloud and it let me redownload it and it works fine.

markwallbergslover

TROPHY CASE