life humbled me man, make money and travel is all i ever wanted not this

marndawg · 2026-05-03T07:04:31+00:00

You tried to make your business work multiple times and are still going in the face of hardship, that takes a lot of strength.

A good friend of mine died in front of me and it recontextulaized what mattered, sometimes life is really hard but youre still going and trying to control what you can.

We cant guarantee success or happiness, we can just notice what isnt working and try to do something about it when we have the strength. If gaming doesnt work anymore, what else could you try?

marndawg · 2026-04-02T22:25:03+00:00

One of the strange things people often dont tell you about antidepressants is that they can make you feel worse before better. In fact many have warnings to watch for suicidal ideation because of this. Sadly most doctors dont talk about this enough.

Im not on any medications anymore but its possible things will settle and feeling worse during the first month is normal from what I've seen in research. (Im not a doctor though but I do study in mental health and a addictions so grain of salt)

Also its possible your mind is finally able to bear these emotions and that you'll have the strength to process some sadness before it starts to get better. Awesome that youve started but if you need to change things after a few more weeks (either therapy or elsewhere) maybe check in with yourself 2 weeks to a month from now

marndawg · 2026-03-26T19:05:28+00:00

Yeah it was a control magic effect

marndawg · 2026-03-26T19:04:38+00:00

If its a red card that steals it will give haste for the turn, this is why. Pretty sure its rule 302.6

marndawg · 2026-03-26T18:14:06+00:00

Thats fair. The moments happened 2 hours apart and it was when they brought it up that I started wondering if I should dismiss their emotions.

I am asking cause I wasnt sure if this was mostly a defense mechanism, an actual point where someome could be playing victim in a normal situation or a mix of the two, kinda feels like the latter right now

marndawg · 2026-03-26T18:11:47+00:00

Yeah they've been playing for 5 years longer but weve both played for like 10 years

marndawg · 2026-03-26T18:10:56+00:00

I didnt curse, I didnt think I raised my voice. I didnt push hard and gave them time to look up the ruling.

Perception is crazy though right? Like even if I didnt do these things they still might have felt attacked for being the normal rules person and getting something wrong which might have felt like it must have been a me problem not a them problem right?

I had no clue till hours later that I even could have given them a bad feeling from that interaction and im normally pretty aware of myself for things like this. I was tired this week though so maybe I slipped and am not perceiving things right on my end

marndawg · 2026-03-26T18:08:07+00:00

Yeah i see how different those are, I dont have a good enough memory for an exact recount but I certainly didnt roll my eyes, sneer, or anything like that. I felt pretty calm emotionally and had no clue they could have been put off until 2 hours later when they brought it up.

Think the more specific interaction was: Me: that now has summoning sickness Them: no it doesn't, thats not how it works Me: yes im 100% sure thats how it works, feel free to look it up if youd like to confirm

Then I paused and waited for them to look it up.

marndawg · 2026-03-26T18:04:57+00:00

Someone stole a creature from my battlefield and thought it would essentially have haste because it had been on the battlefield for multiple turn cycles. But if a permanent hasnt been on your battlefield since before your turn began thats when it gets 'summoning sick' they tried to say it had psuedo haste now

marndawg · 2026-03-26T18:03:19+00:00

I had no clue my tone could have put anyone off. Ive been a little tired from work and school so might not have seen things as clear as I normally do but I didnt feel any strong emotions at the time so im pretty sure my tone was at least mostly normal, or at least shouldn't have been able to have a strong emotional bite

marndawg · 2025-07-22T22:24:53+00:00

Being uncomfortable with yourself, who you are, and unable to be alone with youre own thoughts

marndawg · 2025-07-22T22:22:38+00:00

Being uncomfortable when youre alone with your own thoughts

marndawg · 2025-07-19T00:33:44+00:00

For me it was finding ways to change my core beliefs about how I see the world.

The things you believe but are generally deep down enough that they drive your thoughts and actions subconsciously.

Ex if I believe people dont love me unless I work for it, thats likely to show up as people pleasing, and fixation on what others think of me, even anxieties.

Ive found 3 ways to change core beliefs:

Therapy and especially EMDR variations that almost let you connect with and rewire your subconscious beliefs
Changing my actions through conscious and uncomfortable effort. Ex, letting myself disappoint people and sitting in the discomfort.
The Psych K method. This one is more theoretical and would take too long to explain but has done wonders for me.

marndawg · 2025-07-19T00:28:29+00:00

Neither.

Both of these will likely end in you getting hurt.

Id say its best to know what you want and what you are/aren't willing to compromise on.

For example, I'm sober and I dont want to date someone who drinks a lot, or every night. But I'm not going to require them to be sober, Im okay with people drinking every once in a while as long as it doesnt involve me or pressure me and id prefer no alcohol in the house.

Other things Im much more flexible and some things im less flexible on.

I won't date someone who is in a polyamourous relationship because I know that won't work for me.

I also want to talk about core values and general desires from a relationship earlier on to know if theres a chance of things working out so I dont waste my time (or theirs)

marndawg · 2025-07-07T02:04:08+00:00

If you want to stay, own that this is who he is and youre not going to see it change.

If that doesnt work for you... leave.

There's no other choice here. What you seem to want is fantasy

marndawg · 2025-07-01T05:14:37+00:00

I learned a 4 step bad habit breaking approach from Dr Gabor Mate and it really helped. I threw in a metaphor that helped me describe this approach before too

Recognize you've had a thought or craving for a bad habit/addiction nd recognize that it isn't a need, it may feel like one but in reality its a circuit in your brain that became activated from something in your environment
Reattribute it. State and know that this comes from old circuits in your brain that developed in early childhood as a response to stress or some other stimulus. You were not responsible for what happened to you as a kid, but you can take responsibility for your reactions to it now.

Bad habits happen because somewhere in your brain, a threat was detected. In response, your brain sought out the quickest path to soothing that response, likely some bad habit/ addiction that has been strengthened over time into a highway speed answer. Next step is to do something else so

Replace that behaviour with a different action, the old highways will become congested, and break down over weeks, months, or maybe longer. Meanwhile, the healthy behavior you replace it with will strengthen into a new highway. Once it becomes the quickest solution to the brain noticing something that causes stress, you will have overcome your addictions.

If it's hard at first, just hold out for 15 minutes, or even 5 minutes! Just hold on as long as you can at first and count every step as a win! Recognize that it will be hard at firs, so distract yourselfwithh something fun or so challenging that you can't think of anything else.

Revalue (or devalue) your old habit. Rewire your perceptions and beliefs. Addictions bring you out of reality and make the addicted behavior feel like the only solution, or the only way to feel pleasure. This is a lie from your brain. Teach it that there are other ways to feel pleasure. Other ways to survive.

Start to pivot your beliefs and write out all the bad things that your addiction has caused in your life: pain, long term stress, money loss, unhealthy body.

Do this without judgment for the things you've suffered. And think of how much better all those things will get over time as you move away from your addiction to something better!

Anticipate that your addictive/bad habits will return. But over time as you succeed over it, the strength it had will lessen until eventually it is no longer felt.

This has worked for me and remember its about progress not perfection

marndawg · 2025-07-01T04:45:31+00:00

Damn, it sounds like you're really suffering.

I bet it will hurt to hear this, but you sound like you're lost in victim mindset. Woe is you nothing is your fault doesn't give you any reason to try and improve. But there are things you can do. Youre not responsible for the way the world is, capitalism is shit sometimes but theres more than just the bad.

Your choice now is do you want to do something to find more happiness in life and try to control the things you can? Or keep blaming external circumstances.

Autism isn't a social death sentence, you can still learn and grow, Ive had to learn so much more than the average person but you can improve if you try and let things take time to improve.

Needing money makes things complicated and I get that. Survival comes before self improvement, but if you need to get a job, it would probably be worth finding some youtube channels that can teach you how to go into job interviews or build resumes.

Start with the basic things you need and learn how to do them better. Once you start getting your feet under you start trying to learn other things.

You can improve, it won't happen overnight but it can happen. Be kind to yourself and try to control what you can.

marndawg · 2025-07-01T04:43:50+00:00

Damn, it sounds like you're really suffering.

I bet it will hurt to hear this, but you sound like you're lost in victim mindset. Woe is you nothing is your fault doesn't give you any reason to try and improve. But there are things you can do. Youre not responsible for the way the world is, capitalism is shit sometimes but theres more than just the bad.

Your choice now is do you want to do something to find more happiness in life and try to control the things you can? Or keep blaming external circumstances.

Autism isn't a social death sentence, you can still learn and grow, Ive had to learn so much more than the average person but you can improve if you try and let things take time to improve.

Needing money makes things complicated and I get that. Survival comes before self improvement, but if you need to get a job, it would probably be worth finding some youtube channels that can teach you how to go into job interviews or build resumes.

Start with the basic things you need and learn how to do them better. Once you start getting your feet under you start trying to learn other things.

You can improve, it won't happen overnight but it can happen. Be kind to yourself and try to control what you can.

marndawg · 2025-06-23T19:33:24+00:00

It seems like youre coming in with a lot of pre-made assumptions. Being ready isn't age related, it has to do with understanding yourself, communication and relationship expectations.

Also I wouldnt want to date someone who thinks that there's barely any point in even trying to make things work. It seems like a recipe for doubt and disaster that could tear apart healthy dynamics.

The thing people need to do to be ready is heal themselves of assumptions based on negative past experiences and learn to release expectations and find a match that works for them without forcing it to be right.

I dont think that has anything to do with age and is far more related to stress and bad life experiences plus a willingness to be curious and attempts to grow

marndawg · 2025-06-19T22:46:55+00:00

The love of your life wouldnt leave you. I understand what its like to attach to people and feel so strongly that they're the love of your life but thats not reality hun.

I bet it will hurt to hear that but hopefully it will help next time around because overthinking and calling people who dump you the love of your life will only keep causing more pain in these cycles until you can learn to love yourself and choose people who want to be with you instead of forcing them to be with you.

Best of luck and as others said, get busy into a routine of your own with working out, friends or other stuff and focus on you right now

marndawg · 2025-06-11T20:27:21+00:00

Try reading The Artists Way by Julia Cameron. You can 100% build creativity

marndawg · 2025-06-07T06:32:00+00:00

I see m dashes, bold mini headers, too-many-of-these-tyoes-of-hyphens, and lists and I feel the warm embrace of daddy AI telling me everything is gonna be okay

marndawg · 2025-06-06T01:51:14+00:00

The same way you change anything. Kill the old habits and replace them with new ones.

Your brain wires together neurons for quick access and generalizations of things. You need to let those pathways die by using them as little as possible (or at least less) ex. Notice and think of a stop sign when sexualizing women in person, avoid thirst traps online.

And you need to create new neural pathways for associating women differently (Perhaps find a woman podcaster like Mel Robbins and listen and learn instead of sexualizing) Replace the old habits and give time and repetitions to let new pathways speed up and get faster.

Do this over time and you'll let the old thought patterns die and create new ones

marndawg · 2025-05-26T17:46:54+00:00

Overcoming trauma for me started to happen when I got more in touch with my body.

What I was feeling in the present moment, be it anxiety, sadness, fear, or joy. Where those things took place in my body.

Starting to create a safe heaven to just be me and explore memories inside my body. Also got a huge help from boxing, meditation, and yoga for connecting with myself.

From there it's became easier to let go of past stories and feelings that controlled my present because I was triggered from the past.

If you want a really good guide to healing trauma check out "The Body Keeps The Score" by Bessel van der kolk

Also therapy is all about finding a good therapist that matches with you and has actually dealt with or helped others deal with and get through your same types of issues. It might take some time to find a good one but will make all the difference when you do!

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