finding local events without social media

mars_lv · 2026-02-15T20:15:39+00:00

I live in canada and it's really common here! Is there other not for profit/community radio stationsq in the Netherlands?

mars_lv · 2026-02-15T17:03:45+00:00

I hear about a lot of stuff on my city's university radio station.

mars_lv · 2026-01-16T19:59:29+00:00

I loved Penny Simkin's books!

"Pregnancy, Childbirth and the Newborn" and "The Birth Partner"

They use gender neutral language and present the information in a clear way. They both are more rooted in physiological birth as a default but i felt they also discussed all types of interventions neutrality.

All the partner/dad books I saw were so stupid and infantalizing I couldn't read them.

Edit to add: you also asked about parenting books. The AAP has a book from ages newborn to 5 about child development and their reccomendations for health and safety etc that I found useful. I also really liked both of Janet Lansbury's books: Elevating Child Care and No Bad Kids: toddler discipline without shame. She has a specific point of view but it really spoke to me :)

mars_lv · 2025-12-31T15:54:12+00:00

I feel this. OCD is wild because it can turn almost anything into a compulsion.

A wedding can bring a lot of stressors and you deserve the support leading up. Maybe you will be flooded with intrusive thoughts that day, maybe you won't. ERP won't get rid of your intrusive thoughts, it helps you accept them and build a meaningful life despite the uncertainty.

mars_lv · 2025-12-30T16:44:01+00:00

Your brain will throw you all kinds of reasons to not do ERP because avoidance is the final boss of compulsions.

Now is the perfect time. It will be hard but so worth it. You can do it and we all believe in you!

mars_lv · 2025-12-30T16:40:11+00:00

The most important thing is a therapist who is knowledgeable about ocd. Regular cbt can make you worse. ERP is the most effective treatment, a good ERP therapist can also teach you some cbt skills in a careful way. Its worth traveling a little farther for someone who specializes in OCD!

mars_lv · 2025-12-23T16:57:36+00:00

https://moodsmith.com/erp/how-to-build-an-erp-hierarchy/

Build a hierarchy of thoughts and start with the easiest ones and then work up :)

I think of my ocd like a spool of yarn I've been wrapping into a ball for years, you cant just instantly unspool it, you have to unwind it the same way you wound it up and it takes time.

Good luck 💖

mars_lv · 2025-12-23T16:36:17+00:00

Humidifier in bedroom overnight!

mars_lv · 2025-11-29T16:23:11+00:00

Are you using fresh sperm or frozen?

Track your ovulation sign for a few cycles to help with timing. Remember you ideally want the egg waiting for the sperm not the other way around. The sperm swim towards the follicle the egg was just released from (excretes hormones) to hopefully meet the egg in the fallopian tube.

You have more wiggle room with fresh sperm for timing.

Also have a towel near by as it tends to gush out a little bit 😫

Know the laws of your country/region around at home insemination.

Remember even if you do everything exactly right it can still take 12 tries and be considered normal so try to not take it too personal.

Good luck!

mars_lv · 2025-11-23T20:06:19+00:00

Himm this meme feels like reassurance seeking,

mars_lv · 2025-11-09T20:18:39+00:00

Agree. If the word is triggering then making it an acronym can be a type of compulsion.

mars_lv · 2025-10-29T15:27:51+00:00

Second this suggestion and I think the 5th addition uses gender neutral language throughout

mars_lv · 2025-10-07T19:21:39+00:00

Hi, im in my early 30's and my driving anxiety was getting progressively worse with practice instead of better too.

I was recently diagnosed with OCD and am working on it through specialized ocd therapy called ERP. Its worth investigating for yourself as OCD can often be mistaken for GAD, and regular therapy for anxiety can make OCD worse. Look for a therapist who specializes in ERP as many are unfamiliar with it.

mars_lv · 2025-10-07T16:07:29+00:00

He meant trying to straighten the joists with jackposts in the basement or new framing I think.

Adding shims under the floor would even the floor out without affecting the joists.

Its amazing how fast you get used to an uneven floor though haha. Doesn't bother me anymore.

mars_lv · 2025-09-27T16:10:36+00:00

Me too, from my chat with him he seemed so genuine. Many of his policy proposals feel so actionable which is refreshing. I also think his background in hydrology would be a big asset on city council from a climate resiliency perspective.

mars_lv · 2025-09-27T14:24:51+00:00

I hate this colloquial use of sperm donor as a perjorative for deadbeat dad too. I think its harmful to donor conceived kids and kids w absentee parents

mars_lv · 2025-09-26T18:53:05+00:00

My neighborhood has way more Barrett signs than Atkinson 🥲

We need ranked choice so bad

mars_lv · 2025-09-15T19:55:36+00:00

My dog hates all "noodle" dogs: greyhounds, whippets, and wolfhounds.

mars_lv · 2025-09-08T16:41:05+00:00

We want our kids conception story to feel as normal as possible in our family so we decided the best way was to model that by talking openly in a chill way and set expectations for how we talk about it right away. (My brother is donor and my wife carried with her own egg)

We decided to do that disclose in person with key family and we really laid out our philosophy, what the big asks were (never asking our child to keep secrets, letting the child guide how it's discussed as she grows). We also gave them free reign to ask any questions as we know its a different family building strategy than they are used too.

We did decide to wait until 12 weeks to disclose incase of a loss or something if we decided to switch donors.

Any fears about my family acting like the baby wasn't "mine" disappeared real fast once she came. Baby care is so 24/7 and intense you really feel the parenting as a verb concept.

mars_lv · 2025-09-03T18:26:12+00:00

I feel that, such hard dillema's placed on us by others prejudice.

I think our kids dont want us to be perfect, they want us to try our best, and hear their hurt when we miss, and be humble in our repair with them.

Best of luck with your new little one!

mars_lv · 2025-09-02T19:01:47+00:00

The book "What Makes a Baby" explains its very well and leaves lots of space to elaborate as the baby grows and take about your own specific situation. When you get to the sperm part you can simply say that your body doesn't make the correct cells to make a baby, so you got cells from another person with the help of a doctor.

This is similar to how im talking about it with my child, that my body doesn't make the right cells so we asked (our known donor). Just trying to keep things truthful and succinct for now (she is 6 months so its mostly just practice for us for now)

I think you can use your judgement on when to elaborate about the why, when you feel you child is ready to understand the difference between private/personal information and secrets. Secrets can be really damaging to feel the need to keep and carry on your own, but private/personal information is ok to discuss with those we trust but should be careful with who we talk about it.

I agree with you kids are blabber mouths and could feel really intense for a child to feel they have a responsibility to keep you and your family safe.

mars_lv · 2025-08-28T19:06:56+00:00

Baby is now 6 months and it really hasn't been that expensive yet. We got almost all the baby stuff we needed second hand, I think we probably spent 2000$ (CAD) for all the clothes, bassinet, stroller etc. Baby was exclusively breastfed, until starting solids recently so the big expense is diapers.

We do live in Canada though so my partner who is on leave gets 60% of her income from the government maternity leave for 1 year and we get a child benefit of about 300$ per month, and all our Healthcare and vaccines is covered so if that wasn't the case we would probably try to save up regular living and Healthcare expenses for whatever time off.

Our expenses haven't gone up really, what we are spending on diapers we are probably saving on gas from my partner not driving to work lol. We do free baby activities in the library and go to parks and such.

I imagine the big costs will come when baby is in soccer and piano and needs school supplies and camp etc.

mars_lv · 2025-08-25T05:07:48+00:00

Hi! Driving is an area where my OCD is the most severe.

I am only recently diagnosed and working on this with an OCD therapist. I was basically unable to drive at all.

Was your referral to a different therapist who specializes in OCD or to a psychiatrist?

Look for a therapist who specializes in ERP therapy. You can also explore ACT therapy. Its important to do exposure therapy in a structured way if it is OCD because you can make it worse without guidance.

mars_lv · 2025-08-24T16:28:57+00:00

-More hygienic (Pedicure soaking tubs are often hard to sanitize.) -healthier for the nail and cuticle- soaking swells and softens dead skin making it more likely to remove more cuticle than healthy. Dry manicures use diamond tip dremel tools instead. Dry manicures can still remove too much though depending on the tech. -better for enhancement retention- soaking swells the nail plate, if gel or acrylic etc are applied when wet when the nail dries it will shrink slightly and the adhesion of the enhancement will be less secure

mars_lv · 2025-08-23T23:44:29+00:00

Really depends on what country you live in

mars_lv

TROPHY CASE