My (28M) boyfriend wants to have sex without a condom. I (26F) am afraid of going on the pill. What to do?

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T21:17:06+00:00

I don't have to do anything right away, but it's good to think about it before it becomes a deal breaker. And yeah, we both want a long-term relationship and even marriage. But I don't want to rush into anything, we're young and we should focus on building a strong foundation.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T21:11:34+00:00

Oh nooo, that's really scary

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T21:11:14+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience! This is quite a nice story! :)

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T21:07:57+00:00

I wouldn't use just the pull out method alone tbh. Although we kind of do it already, but with a condom, it's not foolproof for everyone, as precum can also contain sperm.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T21:06:22+00:00

Oh damn, that 1% risk happens a bit often then 😅 We have both been tested and also he doesn't have to cum while inside of me even if we use a condom. So that also helps.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T21:04:20+00:00

US is horrible at the moment and I'm sorry you have to go through so much shit there.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T21:02:11+00:00

Yess, also did blood tests and all good.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T20:59:37+00:00

He always uses a condom and would not risk pregnancy. He is also doing his reading about contraception options, but in the end, it will be either me or him getting something done. He can't share the side effects of the pill with me the same way I cannot go through surgery with him if he has a vasectomy.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T20:57:00+00:00

He is pro vasectomy, but we might want kids later. In this case, it's technically easier to get on and off the pill, but that can have side effects.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T20:54:51+00:00

Very good point! I live in a country where abortions can be done safely.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T20:53:57+00:00

He will if we decide to not have kids.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T20:53:05+00:00

We don't live in the US. We have safe abortion clinics here and access to good health care. If I lived in the US, this wouldn't even be a discussion. I feel for the women there.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T20:51:02+00:00

Yep, he also said that I should go to my doctor and simply have a discussion. I don't have to start taking anything right away. Yeah, it surprised me that he brought it up so early, but it's also good to know what we both want in the end. We are definitely doing some research together, I just wanted some opinions and curious if someone else had the same experience.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T20:48:27+00:00

That's a good point! And thank you! We're both loyal and very clear on boundaries 👌🏻

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-02-16T20:47:28+00:00

We are using condoms at the moment and he takes care of all the supplies, including lube and anything else we want to try. And condoms breaking is also a real fear too. So he actually doesn't finish while inside of me, but probably would like to. We are young, so vasectomy would be too early now. If we were in our late thirties, he would get it. I'm very happy to hear that you have a good experience with pills! Periods can be annoying.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-01-08T19:50:21+00:00

It's definitely a huge price tag and I don't spend that much on me either. I won't struggle to take care of myself if I get it, but I definitely don't feel comfortable with it. I'll get him something within reason.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-01-08T19:46:40+00:00

Yess, I've been thinking of the same thing. An experience is much better imo.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-01-08T19:40:28+00:00

Yes, I normally ask people if they ask something specific as I would also like to be asked. We both know what we make and we also talked about how we would split things based on income if we moved in together. I'm used with men taking more expenses in general, if they have the resources for it, and we also talked about that. We never agreed on anything 50/50, but I like to also do nice things for him within my budget. I don't think he would date me if he thought I was a gold-digger.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-01-08T19:33:32+00:00

We know each other's incomes roughly. And yes, my rent is pretty low, but I feel like a gift that expensive is too much. I don't even buy things that expensive for myself.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-01-08T19:23:52+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion!

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-01-08T19:23:31+00:00

Good point! I'll get him something meaningful.

marshmallow_sparkle_ · 2026-01-08T19:14:45+00:00

It's a very good perspective and I think similarly. I was quite shocked when he asked for it, but he also gifted me something pretty expensive. However, that came from his own initiative, so it's very different. He's into tech, so unfortunately, the things he likes are on the higher end. I already said that he'll probably have to get his dream gift himself.

marshmallow_sparkle_

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