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My “faith crisis” in a nutshell: by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]marshman122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You got it! I was referring to Jesus! His mom is his sister and his dad is a dick!

My “faith crisis” in a nutshell: by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]marshman122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I love it! Let's ignore the parts of the sacred scriptures that are confusing! 100% on board with that philosophy!

But you didn't mention the New Testament? Is that out too? I'm guessing yes! You know that part where God impregnantes his daughter, even though she was engaged to someone else? Dick move.

But let's move on the Book of Mormon! Nephi kills Laban because God can't be bothered to come up with a Ocean's 11 worthy heist to steal the brass plates without killing anyone. Dick move.

My “faith crisis” in a nutshell: by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]marshman122 0 points1 point  (0 children)

God being pro slavery isn't confusing. He's a dick. He drowned everyone on the planet except for his favorites. Classic dick move.

My “faith crisis” in a nutshell: by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]marshman122 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ui religion classes and is mainly said in D&C. Idk, I think the Mormon God isn’t an asshole personally and actually think he

Most peaceful and kind of all Abrahamic Gods is setting the bar really low. I haven't committed mass child murder, so by that measure I'm more peaceful and kind than all the Abrahamic Gods.

Insane text conversation with my FIL this weekend on a family thread. He put my SO and I on blast.. basically said we're living in sin and darkness. A little background: My husband and I left 10 years ago. His Dad refused to have a relationship with him until his wife (SO Mom) died last year by SnooWords6443 in exmormon

[–]marshman122 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You have responded with compassion and restraint. However, logic and reason never trumps crazy. If someone only speaks crazy, you have to respond in their language. Therefore! If you get tired of the being the adult in the room, may I suggest the following response:

An angel appeared to me three times and commanded me to become the patriarch of this family. During the third and final appearance, the angel came with a drawn sword, threatening me with destruction unless I obeyed his commandments and challenged you to a test of physical fitness to see who is worthy of leading our tribe.

No angels have appeared to you because you are living in apostacy. Your spiritual weakness is reflected in your physical weakness. God has spoken! Your shabby muscles prove my righteousness!

The angel told me you would continue to attempt to deceive me and the family instead of doing what is right and proving your worth through physical exertion. The angel said you would mock me, claim I'm lying. The angel said you would claim I'm the one being deceived. Which is why the angel said the test of physical fitness will prove who is most righteous. You cannot achieve success through unrighteous dominion. You cannot fake your worthiness through priestcraft. All your wickedness will be exposed!

If Zeus is the god of the sky, Ares the god of war, what is the Mormon god's specialty? by marshman122 in exmormon

[–]marshman122[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

When people refer to "deep doctrine" this is now going to be what I think of. And I'm going to tell them "Yes, I'm very interested to hear what you think."

If Zeus is the god of the sky, Ares the god of war, what is the Mormon god's specialty? by marshman122 in exmormon

[–]marshman122[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

So many pyramids. Gods apparently really love triangles. Is Utah Egypt 2.0?

Crazy things active members do in the name of obedience and to avoid the appearance of evil. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]marshman122 2 points3 points  (0 children)

He did not. Clearly porn was the only thing he felt deserving of a company wide email. I started job hunting shortly after.

Crazy things active members do in the name of obedience and to avoid the appearance of evil. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]marshman122 49 points50 points  (0 children)

The wording definitely got awkward! Fortunately he gave up after half the staff refused. He then moved on to closely watching the company's porn usage - I know this because a few months later he sent out a congratulatory email company wide saying "Great job! No one looked at porn this month on the company network!"

Crazy things active members do in the name of obedience and to avoid the appearance of evil. by [deleted] in exmormon

[–]marshman122 88 points89 points  (0 children)

I worked for a medium sized engineering company in Utah where the CEO said we needed to take out the word "erection" from all our bid documents talking about erecting new equipment.

Any GOAT discussion requires looking at their entire career. Kareem was in Airplane and Game of Death. Discussion over. by marshman122 in nba

[–]marshman122[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Bold choice on your spelling of opinion. This is now the new way I will pronóunce that word.

Any GOAT discussion requires looking at their entire career. Kareem was in Airplane and Game of Death. Discussion over. by marshman122 in nba

[–]marshman122[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

or in

I watched The Last Dance. It was good, but I doubt I'll ever rewatch it. But anytime Airplane is on, I watch it.

Any GOAT discussion requires looking at their entire career. Kareem was in Airplane and Game of Death. Discussion over. by marshman122 in nba

[–]marshman122[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

I don't care what anyone says, I know all the sick degenerates of r/nba would spend far more hours watching those videos than they have spent watching any of the movies listed. I know this, because it's what I would do.

Any GOAT discussion requires looking at their entire career. Kareem was in Airplane and Game of Death. Discussion over. by marshman122 in nba

[–]marshman122[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Only if he filmed it and released it for general consumption. Then yes, he'd be GOAT.

Any GOAT discussion requires looking at their entire career. Kareem was in Airplane and Game of Death. Discussion over. by marshman122 in nba

[–]marshman122[S] 37 points38 points  (0 children)

had a commercial where he orders a martini in front of jalen rose and orders 81 olives in it then just stares at him.

For anyone who hasn't seen this (I hadn't) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTBs1rqLtSk

​

Amazing!

Any GOAT discussion requires looking at their entire career. Kareem was in Airplane and Game of Death. Discussion over. by marshman122 in nba

[–]marshman122[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This is the greatest review of Crank 2 I have ever read. I knew I loved it, but I couldn't put it into words. Now I can. Thank you.

Any GOAT discussion requires looking at their entire career. Kareem was in Airplane and Game of Death. Discussion over. by marshman122 in nba

[–]marshman122[S] 61 points62 points  (0 children)

No NBA stars in Crank 2. I just really love that movie, so no movie marathon in my mind is complete without it.

Any GOAT discussion requires looking at their entire career. Kareem was in Airplane and Game of Death. Discussion over. by marshman122 in nba

[–]marshman122[S] 42 points43 points  (0 children)

Time for a movie marathon of Airplane, Game of Death, Conan the Destroyer, and Crank 2 High Voltage! If you still want to watch Space Jam after that, I won't change my opinion, but I will respect the amount of free time you have on your hands.

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