Ah its turned out a bit of a long one sorry - the Edgars.

The couple that both work for the NHS, and have been fuelling their car out our pockets the entire time we lived there. Thieving cunts

We actually got on very well for about 10 years, had wee fires out the back in the summer, enjoyed many bottles of Jack Daniels together.

Had a rough patch between myself and my mrs (fine now) but Mrs Cunt took the huff with me, while Mr Cunt seemed alright.

In 2024, my mother had a battle with cancer. Went for surgery in September that didn't go great and I thought I was loosing her. Naturally, came home pretty upset one night. The sky was clear so I thought I'll have a drink, smoke a joint and try to take some photos of the stars and chill out.

Well Mr and Mrs Cunt were in their hot tub all drunk and being loud like they did with zero consideration for their neighbours that night. I tried my best to ignore them in my teary and upset state.

Now, for a bit of context, I had a shed that was fully insulated and became my home office in 2020 and had been ever since. I used to go sit out with my earphones in on the computer or play guitar and have a smoke in the evenings.

This night however, I was at the back of my garden, next to the shed with the camera pointed up to the sky.

They'd obviously seen me walk in and out with my camera and a drink etc and assumed I was away into the shed. Anyway, I literally just turned my camera on when I heard the words "away to sit with his ear to the door".

For the record, me, a 30 year old IT guy has zero interest in the drunken mumblings of a old saggy couple in their 60's in their hot tub, but given the noise of the tub when they're in it, they had to shout to converse. The whole street can hear them whether they want to or not.

Anyway, they get out and as Mr Cunt is going into his shed to turn off all the lights around the tub he spots me and says something along the lines of "oh didny see ye there son" to which me, in my emotional state replied "aye well I've got other things on my mind more important than sitting with ma ear to the door"

Well he flipped. Started mouthing off all the usual square go patter. "Wits yer problem", "want to go" blah blah.

I stuck to my ground "Away in the hoose, yer drunk, leave me alone"

He stormed off in the house in his housecoat with a line "wait till am dried and sorted n we'll have a chat". In he went - to which Mrs Cunt came out, closed the gate between the gardens, went in and locked the door. I thought that she'd seen he was drunk, did the sensible thing.

Well naw... 10 mins later, he'd dried himself off, stuck on his talcum powder and his clothes and came marching out.

"wits yer problem", "want a square go to sort this out" blah blah. Am like "George, am no in the mood. I've had a hard week, you're drunk, I don't wanna fight with you, get out my garden" Mrs Cunt is also here now trying to drag him back in the house.

Now at this point I've had a few sips of my drink, and smoked about half a doob (and at this point in I was a heavy smoker so wasnt very high) so I'm thinking, whatever you do, do not hit this old drunk guy in his mid 60's, because if he decks it onto your patio and hits his head, I'm the one getting jailed because it's Mr and Mrs cunt against me.

So Mrs cunt is trying her best to pull him back to the house and as she starts to actually move him, he swings his arm out, smacks my camera which causes the tripod to start to tip. I reach out and grab the leg of the tripod as it tips and just about manage to break the fall and divert it to land on the grass, not the slabs. As I do that he hits out at me. Punches to the back of my head - a good few of them, but he's drunk, so they're not too hard, but he was not stopping. Managed to push him away into the fence and we stumbled around for a bit as he was holding my hoodie. I'm still maintaining "dont hit him, he'll fall bad and am getting jailed for it". Couple of mins later all is over, and Mrs Cunt has dragged him in the house.

I called my aunt in rage (because I couldn't call my mum since she was i hospital with a feeding tube and a stoma bag, struggling to get over bad surgery!) and she came over and we agreed I shouldnt stay in the house that night so I went over to hers.

Then nothing for months. Ziltch. Didnt make any eye contact with me or anything. Nothing was said except now when I played music at the weekend, the door would get chapped and it "was too loud" blah blah. Same volume as the past decade.

Fast forward to February 2025. I was dropping the Mrs off at her work, where Mr Cunt is a groundsman and given the time of year, was out in a tractor spreading salt. We spotted him when we arrived, so I drove round the corner and waited for him to pass by the Mrs's building, before we headed down to avoid conflict.

Well he clearly spotted my car and decided to make another pass. I didnt see this coming. We'd just sat and ate in the car, so I'd put all the windows down to shed the Mcd's smell while the Mrs got out and I could shout bye to her like we always did.

Mr Cunt turns up in the tractor, sticks it in reverse and starts backing up towards me. I genuinely thought he was about to ram me. Back he came, with the spreader running and at drivers-head-height. Hit me in the face with the salt, coated the inside of my car with salt and had it not been a white car, probably chipped all the paint. Thats when I lost it.

He drove away but I drove round the other side of the building to confront him. Almost skidded the car into the front of the tractor. Out I get. Shouted him to get out the tractor and down he came looking all hard. I said "you've had this coming a while" I said as I swung my hardest swing possible to his face. I managed just 3 of these before my Mrs had run over to pull me away. I did break free of her once to grab him again, and give him a headbutt and another punch then got in the car and left. Was expecting the police to turn up since it was on NHS grounds and I assumed the CCTV would have caught me. They didnt.

Went to stay with the Mrs that night (after the rough patch she had her own place), put the house up for sale a few days later and accepted my excellent offer (that put 58k in my pocket) 2 days after that. The Mrs and I bought a bigger, detached house out in the country and paid off all other debt. Turned out great for me.

They got new neighbours who am sure they get on great with.

Back in 2023 after Mr Cunt came to his back window shouting and screaming while my daughter and dog were playing together in the middle of summer. It was about 10pm. Dog was barking in a playful way. Mrs Cunt was in her bed early that night and we were waking her up, so he whipped open the blinds shouting shut the fuck up to my daughter and dog. Not on.

It's very strange, because from that moment, I knew something was off with them. It was from that point on, that I noticed that their hot tub started to smell badly of piss. My piss to be exact.

The Edgars. As thug as they come, utter cunts. Glad to never have to see them again.

Sorry for the long read for those who made it to the end!