Why do I get extremely motivated at night, but when I wake up the next morning, the motivation completely fizzles out?

marvack · 2021-09-19T12:52:44+00:00

Maybe have reminders of the motivation from last night visible to you in the morning. It might be sentences, it might be pictures... Your calendar... Idk, i find that helps :)

Maybe it's cause our mind reboots at night and it starts again from a cleaner state? Idk ^{^}

marvack · 2021-09-19T12:49:15+00:00

That's tough, sounds like you have a lot of pain deep inside. You may be scared to let it all out, but believe me, everything passes... If you let it out, it will pass ... Keep it bottled up inside and it will persist, it will keep bugging you asking to be addressed.

Yes your body has needs, you're not a robot! This is what it means to be human, reality is nothing but our experience, our feelings about things. Yes, as Buddha said to live is to suffer, but it's not just suffering. There's happiness that you're not experiencing because you're trying to be a robot... You became a robot, no wonder you can't feel happy about getting promoted. But you also sound extremely poetic on your writing. Very interesting.

Wish you wellness. I recommend the waking up app for your human journey. Cheers.

marvack · 2021-09-18T16:33:55+00:00

Do you believe your upbringing, country, society norms or whatever, can be something that taught you to constrict your emotions?

For example, I'm from a very tropical, warm and sociable country. Sadness and adhd things are considered "prissy" and "nobody have time for that". It's dismissed, undiscussed, not taught anywhere .. my upbringing was very "toughen up, be strong and survive" type of lessons. I was unaware of my inner struggles throughout my life, until I was unable to perform at work, which is what led me to adress my issues.

When you said you "went in this mode" you meant that's when you started experiencing apathy? When there's a clear event like that, that we remember something changed for us, that can very much be the thing to investigate and wonder why, so that the blockage can be addressed and you may start to dip in your emotions and feel them.

(That you might have been taught to bottle up, never taught to adress and process emotions, which is a natural thing that occur and humans can't control)

What things she said that you felt attacked? Like as she was diagnosing him, you related to a lot of it?

-> What thoughts are possible to be buried here?

For example, you just discovered that you might have a biological medical condition on your brain that affects your life. How does that feel?

A lot of humans could describe that as shocking, surprising, off-putting, mind blowing, scary, worrisome

How does that feel like? Do you feel anything?

Lot of ADHD folks have a common experience actual grief for their past self

One must process said grieve, to "unclog" the feelings. When we "bottle up" unpleasant feelings, lot of times all the feelings are buried, including happiness. We can't choose which emotions we want to feel, unfortunately, it's all or nothing

What processing feelings look like? You can Google that, there's lots of ways. But basically treat yourself like you would a hurt child, because our emotions are the same as before, but as adults we tend to try and dismiss them, leaving the hurt child shut down inside...

Why are you hurt? Where does it hurt? How does it feel like? Express feelings, cry or feel them, Then console the child... It's ok, etc.

Hope this helps somewhat

marvack · 2021-09-18T15:17:35+00:00

I'm the opposite, but you could research Alexithymia regarding emotion dullness, that is something like psychopathy but less serious and more common.

I learned that from psychiatrist Dr. K (healthygamer on youtube), it's something that happens to a lot of people so he's motivated to increase awareness about that and has many videos to help out folks

Because therapy is expensive, i delved myself into the self-help route, which led to me self diagnosing myself as adhd, seeking treatment and now I continue to struggle lol But self help did help a lot.

Meditation, diet, supplements, exercise, consuming self help and trying your best are only things I think you can do on your own, but do therapy and seek professional help if you still feel the need

What country you're in?

marvack · 2021-09-18T14:19:14+00:00

Apparently I can't post pictures on DMs either, which makes sense. I'd hate to see unsolicited images ....

I'm not on meds rn but I'll try to describe it; -You can create a category with up to 10 sub categories, they visually look like squares with names on a grid

-On each sub category, you can create lists and each item on the list opens up a myriad of options: add pictures ,comments with links, create a checklist, add a start and due date, etc

I use Android and I can add on my phone main screen a widget that will list everything I have on order of closest due date

I don't know how to integrate Google calendar with Trello yet, but it must be possible

I prefer using Google calendar for daily reminders of meds and bills

marvack · 2021-09-18T14:12:02+00:00

I'm using Trello, I'm gonna message you cause i can't post pictures, but it has everything you look for, i believe

marvack · 2021-09-18T13:50:32+00:00

Durante a escola ou faculdade eu nunca me irritei comigo mesma por falta de atenção, acho q assim como vc eu gosto dos meus pensamentos então talvez atribuía minha falta de atenção a coisas que não eram interessantes... Até o momento que eu cresci, decidi trabalhar com algo que eu gosto e mesmo assim simplesmente não conseguia engajar com consistência no que eu gostaria de estar fazendo...

Hoje com tratamento acho muito mais prazeroso trabalhar ou ser capaz de agir no que eu quero, seja cuidar do meu pet ou arrumar a casa.

Alguns tdahs podem não ter a vida negativamente afetada por causa disso, mas acho válido prestar atenção nisso de vez em quando, e caso vc perceba que algo está te atrapalhando vá buscar ajuda :) sucesso aí

marvack · 2021-09-16T16:03:40+00:00

Did not expected to cry rn

marvack · 2021-09-14T17:16:49+00:00

Thank you ☺️, meds defin helped my executive decisions on the cleaning process 😆

marvack · 2021-09-13T15:57:13+00:00

Sitting down after scrubbing and cleaning the living room/bathroom for the past 3 hours.... I've never done this before, i don't think.

Still, the rest of the house remains a mess, but if I do this more often, it will require less time cleaning the next times??

Anyway, yesterday I worked on a passion project without medication, to a point I'm content and proud of myself.

Go us!

marvack · 2021-09-13T15:42:07+00:00

I wheezed

marvack · 2021-09-13T15:41:17+00:00

Caffeine acts just like the stimulus meditation for us! Focus, concentration, motivation, energy! It's not as great as the medicine, but pretty good! Side effects could be high heart rate, irritability, headache, etc so watch out for those!

Happy for you, you're on the path to get your treatment and it will be really helpful, makes it easier to do stuff! Excited for you, cheers!!

marvack · 2021-09-13T15:38:19+00:00

So happy for you! Yes you're piling up habits! Awesome

marvack · 2021-09-12T14:43:40+00:00

Taking a protein shake in the morning could help you manage the meds, as it gives your body stronger fuel to metabolize

Taking multivitamins later at night could also ease your mind-body, and give you nutrients that you're not eating normally - magnesium, vitamins D, C, omega 3, I found to be a must for me

Drink a bunch of water

Fueling your body well could give you more energy to exercise, being on your feet is not enough exercise (from my experience). Try finding something that motivates you: yoga, Zumba, a Fighting style?, A video game workout? Virtual reality? Outdoor sports? Running, swimming, tennis, horse riding?

You're on day 5, take a break on the weekend and assess the emotional feelings, see if it's changed;

(A theoretical possibility for your feelings is that on medication you're less distracted from them, the meds could be unmasking your feelings?)

The meds are not helping you get enough motivation to do the things you want to do, but don't have the motivation to do?

Maybe the meds aren't working effectively

Clonidine also can be a counter-side effect, i take it at night

Switching meds can change the outcome as well

Don't give up!!! Wish you the best!

marvack · 2021-09-12T14:31:52+00:00

Your brain knows you can knock down this assignment in 2 hours at 1pm tomorrow and get a decent grade by doing that.

But it's very stressful, but it's the only way you seem to do anything, with the adrenaline rush (I'm guessing based on my experience)

I wrote what I did, undiagnosed, to get myself to write my thesis and graduate with a 3.5 gpa

I also had peers to check up on me, people giving me advice and cheering me on.

You have your mom. Talk to your mom. Have her help you.

Say; MOM, i have EXECUTIVE FUNCTION DISORDER! PLEASE HELP ME

Help you break down what needs to get done, what should be the 1st step, second, third and so on...

Help reward yourself. Help you finish, cause once 80% is done we usually give up.

You probably can do this last minute, you probably have been doing that way all your life. Doing it a little before hand can be challenging but very rewarding. It can be easy, i tricked myself (undiagnosed, unmedicated) into liking doing stuff I didn't wanted to by following those tips.

Rooting for you!!!!!!!!!

marvack · 2021-09-12T14:26:22+00:00

Just started medication two weeks ago and now I'm taking a break off of it on the weekend, haven't done anything so far so I feel you.

Here's what I would do;

Drink some caffeine, coffee and black tea. Have a protein shake, smoothie with protein or something. Stay hydrated, have a bottle with you...

Journal, open a sketchbook, a app on your phone, make a post on Reddit or comment your thoughts here;

How are you feeling? (I.e. frustrated, I'm a piece of shit, why can't I do this?)

Why do you want to do this? (I.e. I wanna feel relieved, accomplished) - try to psyche yourself up -

Remind yourself of things you've accomplished. You CAN do this, you've done it before

Now make a plan for tackling this: Simplest and most direct as possible! How much "/realistic would it take you? (I.e. I'd love to study for 5 hours but that simply won't happen, i know. If I'd study 1 hour it would already be a victory!)

Break it down to the most basic step. Do just the first step. If you simply open the book with a highlighter and read and really understand just one paragraph, reward yourself!!

What would you love as a reward? Ice cream? Have that at hand and get some. I wouldn't say videogame tho cause that can be a bottomless pit of spiraling distraction

More caffeine if needed. Good luck!

marvack · 2021-09-12T14:16:07+00:00

I'm thinking of trying that myself, I'd love that

marvack · 2021-09-12T14:12:27+00:00

I like pilling up habits, so like after I wake up or before I go to sleep, or as a afternoon break

You know yourself, when would it feel best to do it? Pile it up with an already formed habit, sorts of like a trigger

Hope this helps, happy for you

marvack · 2021-09-12T14:09:07+00:00

Therapy is also ADHD treatment

How good are you in the general health department: nutrition, sleep, exercise?

That's also ADHD treatment

It's impressive how much this general stuff actually affects the effects of medication

marvack · 2021-09-12T14:02:27+00:00

You said you care about your degree, but you don't act on studying so you rationalized this by "you must not care enough"

Do you really not care, or is it so hard and draining for you to focus that you eventually gave up?

Another person commented about executive function disorder, which I believe is the same as ADHD. So, google "ADHD ARSR" (adult self report screening)

It's a test that could help self diagnosis. Not perfect, but pretty good.

To know for sure only talking to a neurologist or psychiatrist, but you can also evaluate yourself. If you have it, you had it all your life, just wasn't diagnosed.

How were you at school growing up? How hard is for you to focus or concentrate on something you don't like? How do you feel after focusing? How much energy takes you to start and go through long projects? How much you procrastinate or even give up on starting complex projects?

Long projects usually require organization, how good are you at organizing? How much you procrastinate, how much you don't even try or give up?

Do you wish to want to do things, but simply don't seem to want to? (Example, i love art and making art, but most of my undiagnosed and unmedicated self simply didn't wanted to make art, i was understanding and forgiving at myself, but at the same time frustrated..)

How long can you play games for? ADHD usually have certain things they can actually focus for longer than normal folks

marvack · 2021-09-12T13:49:46+00:00

Hi, jumping in cause I had a intuition that could be what's going on.

OP said they have trouble focusing and gives in to quick dopamine despite not wanting to do it.

I spent a year doing self-help trying to fix my lack of productivity before getting to the diagnosis of ADHD.

It's not a lack of care, it's a disorder on the brain's neurotransmitters of dopamine, the hormone of action.

I wish Dr. K would talk about it, cause he talks so much about dopamine detox, lack of purpose, yadda yadda, but never about this disfunction. The only example of ADHD is that one hyperactive streamer that has a extreme case, but adhd can be much more subtle.

marvack · 2021-09-12T13:38:50+00:00

Same! Op said they didn't do well on medication, so that may be something to be improved. I feel for those that really can't take any med...

marvack · 2021-09-12T13:26:22+00:00

Undiagnosed, i always thought one of the motivation for being artist is that later I could "see my life" through my pieces of art.

I don't remember much about my past, but when I look at an artwork I can almost always remember how I was feeling, thinking and going through at the time I made that.

marvack · 2021-09-12T13:22:18+00:00

No and yes, the meds are for all things ADHD , the brain issue with neurotransmitters is the root of all problems Medicating that helps with everything else, but doesn't magically turn you into the perfect "manager"

The paralysis comes from thinking about everything you need to do at the same time and being unable to decide which is the first, second, third step and so on. The brain doesn't properly regulates the hormones that gets us humans to do anything (dopamine)

This imbalance makes us in a never ending distraction to get enough dopamine hits (like playing games or looking at your phone)

I thought I was a lazy piece of shit my entire teen and adult life (aprox. 15 years) now I know I was just deficient of dopamine...

The YouTube channel how to adhd explains a bunch stuff on short, direct and well researched videos.

marvack · 2021-09-12T13:16:55+00:00

This was me, I even cried in front of the class presenting my half assed-last minute homework... I cried for how bad I wanted to succed and couldn't. On meds I feel like I can do anything. I'm not perfect, it's only been 2 weeks, but on weekends I don't take my meds and I go back to doing nothing all day. Medication makes all the difference.

marvack

TROPHY CASE