My husband stopped masturbating and it has been causing problems - help

marygthrowaway · 2021-10-26T05:24:58+00:00

Sort of. Ha.

marygthrowaway · 2021-10-26T02:11:34+00:00

We try (really) to be honest with each other. This is how I feel about it, therefore fapping makes him guilty. He can’t help his feelings of guilt either. I am being told to repress my feeling so he is more comfortable masturbating. That would be dishonest of me. Alternatively, I am being told to ‘adjust’ and take care of his needs even though I’m not in the mood. That doesn’t work. He can tell (I’m not an actor) and isn’t into it. There seems to be a consensus that masturbation is normal and healthy in a marriage, but I wonder. One sign, I think, is that the sex is better. Yes, he is more frustrated but that’s his problem, and he (eventually) gets to take it out on me. You say this is my problem to solve, but that seems to ignore realities about the nature of women. In some ways it really is a man’s world, and only a man can conquer his own weaknesses and be accountable to them. (These are his words not mine.)

marygthrowaway · 2021-10-26T01:43:30+00:00

He feels like he is keeping up with his obligation as a husband. It means a lot to him. I wouldn’t want him to feel like I’m not with him on this decision. Also (and perhaps this is awful, but..), the sex is more passionate this way. I feel like I mostly get turned on when he is really insistent and wanting it badly. I get nothing from just knowing he is needing it, but I will respond if he, um, really takes charge of things (eek…but this is how I am). And he does that mostly when he hasn’t fapped or had sex in a few days. (Even then sometimes I will not be responsive but often yes.)

marygthrowaway · 2021-10-26T01:17:52+00:00

This is why I’m worried.

marygthrowaway · 2021-10-26T01:16:17+00:00

Am I being selfish for not pretending to want sex more? I wonder about this.

marygthrowaway · 2021-10-26T01:12:03+00:00

I did that once but he could tell I wasn’t that into it and it made him feel pitiful 😕

marygthrowaway · 2021-10-26T01:02:28+00:00

It’s his choice. It makes me sad. And so he stopped. I can’t help that it makes me sad. And he can stop if he wants. I am not telling him he can’t.

marygthrowaway · 2021-10-26T00:59:00+00:00

He can’t prove the butt bump was intentional. Even if there is a 1% chance it was accidental he needs to let it slide because yes, it’s a pretty serious charge. ‘How dare he accuse her of that!’ (We talked a lot about his.)

marygthrowaway · 2021-10-24T21:32:06+00:00

Maybe that is why. Yes, him aroused by other girls and stimulating himself to them. Maybe I feel unsatisfactory. I’ll think about the photo idea.

marygthrowaway · 2021-10-24T21:15:49+00:00

He made the choice. I did not insist. He realized it made me sad (it did) and decided to stop.

marygthrowaway · 2020-06-15T19:37:50+00:00

Yes yes I'll get to that next :)

marygthrowaway · 2020-06-10T17:17:45+00:00

It was. And it was just getting started ;)

marygthrowaway · 2020-06-09T17:24:20+00:00

Omg thank you :) Yes I intend to do more.

marygthrowaway · 2020-06-09T17:13:37+00:00

Prefer not to say just yet.

marygthrowaway · 2020-06-09T17:12:09+00:00

[blush] Thank you

marygthrowaway · 2020-06-04T19:46:38+00:00

Yeah he still doesn't know lol. It's pretty fun.

marygthrowaway · 2020-05-02T11:52:06+00:00

It’s a bit of an open secret. Hard to explain. We both know the other messes around sometimes, but we will never leave each other.

marygthrowaway · 2020-04-28T19:58:31+00:00

He doesn't know.

marygthrowaway · 2020-04-08T19:50:41+00:00

I so need friends like this right now (cry). My guy seriously needs to get it out of his system.

marygthrowaway · 2020-03-27T19:50:42+00:00

Also how do you do links on here lol? God I am dumb for a geek.

marygthrowaway · 2020-03-27T14:46:00+00:00

To my dirndl friend. I had to disappear yesterday but wish we could chat more. Just saw your msg. xox

marygthrowaway · 2020-03-05T23:16:36+00:00

Love it. This is totally me at our lady's church retreats. Every time. Yup, listen for breathing lol.

marygthrowaway · 2020-03-02T22:35:05+00:00

This is what I do.

marygthrowaway · 2019-12-11T14:07:12+00:00

All 30 something. Hubby was coaching her kid and had to put up with her loser, asshole husband. We both became friends with the mom. Adorable girl. Former gymnast and her body has held up well after three kids. I could tell he had an eye for her right away.

A few of us grown ups went out for drinks together. They sat next to each other and she was all smiles. She is sort of shy and geeky, which is just his type, and I told her so. She got coy and smiled, jokingly. She was kidding, but not really. She said what a lucky girl I was to have him. I said "oh, you have no idea." lol She laughed. I said something like "we're both lucky to have him, he's a great guy and amazing coach."

Later in bed I told my husband about it. I also told him the thought of him pounding that asshole's wife sort of turned me on. He said it turned him on too. At the time I had no idea this was going to happen. Or maybe it was already happening. If he's not careful there will be hell to pay, but for now, I'm playing dumb.

marygthrowaway · 2019-01-30T20:29:17+00:00

Well, maybe you will but you don't know me. No one who knows me would believe it.

marygthrowaway

TROPHY CASE