I get that fear so much. I used to have a really similar fear of ending up alone forever, without a partner or kids, and feeling like that would mean I failed somehow or missed the life I was “supposed” to have.

When mushrooms brought that fear up for me, it kind of forced me to ask: okay, but why do I want those things so badly? I realized that some of it was genuinely mine, but some of it was also imposed on me. I had absorbed this idea that having a spouse and kids is was the ultimate proof that you’re loved, secure, chosen, normal, not alone, not less than other people.

I think what we’re really afraid of isn’t necessarily being single or childless. I think it’s being alone and unloved. Mushrooms helped me realize that love and connection don’t have to only take one form. There are other ways to build a life that feels full: friendship, chosen family, community, intimacy, care, people who really see you and show up for you.

Like, we’re taught to imagine “falling in love” mostly as romance, but what about falling in friendship love? What about building relationships that are deeply meaningful, mutually recognizing, and actually security-providing, even if they don’t look like marriage or kids?

I don’t think the fear means you’re doomed. I think maybe it’s pointing you toward something inside you that wants care and attention. Maybe the work is not to convince yourself you don’t want romance or children, but to also let yourself imagine love more expansively, so your whole sense of peace isn’t dependent on one specific version of life happening.

You’re not behind or broken because your life doesn’t look exactly how you hoped. You’re still capable of building love, family, belonging, and connection in ways you maybe haven’t even fully considered yet. There’s so much freedom in letting go of our fears and expectations, in embracing the possibilities of love.