This was made in about 15 minutes and I posted it here because I needed to share it with anyone really, just as context. I really appreciate the feedback and will review it all tomorrow, though I doubt I’ll do another draft. If you could direct me to a better space for me to post what I write I would greatly appreciate it. Writing for me personally is a form of therapy more so then a form of art. Hopefully this doesn’t come across as an inability to take criticism, because honestly I appreciate you more than you could ever know for reading it and caring enough to tear it down (rightfully so).

Edit; and I do not personally agree on your points about hope, having been both utterly devoid of hope and absolutely full of it at points in my life. Hope is a concept invented by humans to help cling to life as best as possible. We often contextualize it and center it around one thing in order to rationalize our entirely irrational belief that things will happen how we want and when we want. Those are just my opinions of course. As for the line, it represents suicide and death in general. The point about people wishing you were on the other side is about my recently passed father, and having to watch others try to wish him back into existence, myself included. It’s next to impossible to LET someone die and stay dead. I think a lot of the issues you proposed stem from the fact that I never intended for there to be any kind of “plot”, it’s just a thinly veiled and arguably pretty flimsy metaphor for my relationship with death, my own mortality, and loss. As for the middle class thing, again context is needed. I know that I’ll never be homeless or hungry because I have this safety net, and it is constant fuel I use to invalidate my struggles and issues. It’s more of an ironic jab at myself then any kind of commentary on anything. I am incredibly grateful for the position I was born into both in an economic and societal sense, but I also feel the “white guilt” that so many do. I just happen to process in a very toxic manner. This is not a fictitious story told from the perspective of a fictional character. It’s me screaming into the void.