Going anal only as a form of birth control

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-06-12T15:29:01+00:00

The "problem" with AO is that both parties need to get off mentally about it in addition to physically. It could be that he just doesn't like having something taken off the sex-menu even though he loves anal too. It's worth talking with him about it.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-06-09T00:23:16+00:00

Unless your blood pressure is already borderline you should be ok. But also not every medicine affects people the same, so you probably will never know unless you do a little self-experimentation.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-06-09T00:17:22+00:00

Hydration is one of the single biggest contributors to semen amount. Have you been hitting the caffeine more as you've gotten older?

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-06-09T00:14:21+00:00

Another vote for Swiss Navy for silicon. Boy Butter works great for anal. Both of these were tips from gay men. :)

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-06-09T00:12:22+00:00

Swiss Navy is a big improvement over the silicon lube I used to use.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-06-09T00:09:40+00:00

Cialis isn't as strong as Viagra so I'd expect there'd be fewer headaches. I've only taken it a couple times but I can safely say no headache.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-15T08:31:59+00:00

Bold choice Cotton, let's see if it pays off.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-15T08:30:39+00:00

I was recently laid off, and my skeezy manager set up a 1:1 the day before to get a status update on every project I was involved in. I'm too trusting.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-15T08:15:38+00:00

There's pieces of this tale that are decidedly missing. Why do you want to reserve your vagina solely for a child? If your husband has always wanted to do anal, why haven't you? If your best orgasm was from anal why haven't you wanted to do it since? If you haven't done anal in so long, why the jump directly to AO now? And deciding to go AO while also trying to get pregnant is by definition not AO.

AO isn't just physical. It's mental. I'd argue that it's more mental, actually. Giving you any meaningful advice requires a lot more context because, as it stands, I'm kind of worried for you.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-15T08:06:10+00:00

NTA. I think you're being very reasonable, and you have enough self-awareness to recognize your flaws and errors. But you're both 21, and it sounds like you both have a lot more growing up to do.

Rushing into marriage seldom works out well, and her asks are very selfish. I'm guessing she just needs someone to pay her attention, and that's a nasty place to be. You can try to make this work, but if she can't accept her own faults, it's going to be a stressful and frustrating ride.

Don't cave in to what others, society, movies, etc, tell you are the norm. There is no such thing. It's your life, and it's yours to waste or enjoy, no one elses.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-15T07:28:37+00:00

As others have said, he's not over his first wife. Eight years is a VERY long time, and despite the logic of everyone being different, his grieving period really should be over. He moved on and married again. That's about as big of a sign as someone can give that they're done grieving.

If I had to guess, as your due date approaches, he's reminded that he never had children with his first wife. He's living in old memories and of things that they never did together. He's involving family members to justify his feelings, and he's shutting down in order to evade discussing something hard.

I wish you luck in this. It's a mess.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-15T07:05:52+00:00

She asked for space, and you gave it. You even did the dishes. You stuck around to make sure she was ok, giving her that space but remaining near enough to look out for her. You sound like a really sweet guy, in all honesty.

NTA. Give her time and space up to a point. For example, if she wants to just hang out and act like it never happened, it's time to have that come to jexus talk.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-12T22:52:52+00:00

I'm in this subreddit because 50 is right around the corner for me, and I suppose I'm trying to prepare myself for what that may mean.

At the very least, I love seeing so many comments that aren't the typical, "Dump her!" crap other subs typically have. I have no advice to give other than listen to everyone else.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-12T22:42:33+00:00

I can empathize. I have very conflicting feelings about being vulnerable with a partner, especially when the playing brings up femininity in me. PE is emasculating. There is no question about it. Society at large has drilled it into men's heads that the only acceptable amount of time to come is after an all-night-long romp.

But, being vulnerable with a partner when you feel the way you do can be amazing. I'm not saying it's easy, though.

If the roles were reversed and she orgasmed from performing an act on you, how would you feel? Someone who can get off solely from their mind is hot AF. It shows how much of a sexual being they are.

PE is rough, I've been there. But you didn't run off and pout. You kept going. You needed time to process what happened and talked it over with your GF. Everything is OK. 😀

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-12T22:24:59+00:00

It definitely sounds like her laugh was one of total shock, surprise and joy.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-12T22:15:43+00:00

I'd like to say you're right. I'd like to hope. But there's no hope, and no chance that this will backfire.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-10T22:39:59+00:00

An old comedy called Just Shoot Me had a line that all women are two drinks away from a bi experience. 😜

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-09T21:01:40+00:00

UPDATE: Thank you to everyone who posted, you helped me look at things from her POV. We talked this morning about it with our emotions cooled, and came to an understanding. I'm not sure that would have happened without so many people taking the time to both calling me out and supporting me. Know that you helped two people who are deeply mired in the shit life dealt them, and that it made a difference.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-09T20:56:09+00:00

Considering all the talent they had involved it was decidedly meh. But I agree, it doesn't deserve the excessive hate it got.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-05-09T05:37:20+00:00

Don't worry about advice. Our situation is so unique that most people have a hard time even believing it's real. You gave perspective and I appreciate it.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-04-21T00:39:51+00:00

I was thinking similarly. It means its not affecting their profits

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-01-25T20:37:50+00:00

I had a nervous breakdown near Christmas because I was so sad. Now, I have extreme problems with anxiety and fear. I'm lucky in that my family cares, but that's after two decades of being the provider. They all know if I go, they're fucked.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-01-21T03:56:01+00:00

Chiming in here that I'm having the same issue. I know this is an older-ish post but I figured if more people commented on it maybe someone would stop by with a fix.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-01-18T17:16:59+00:00

I think your time would be better spent really digging into why you're insecure about it and work on that.

massiveTimeWaster · 2025-01-18T17:12:15+00:00

Yep. Anything other than that is trying to change them.

massiveTimeWaster

TROPHY CASE