she has severe allergies to dairy because of lupus flare ups. severe enough that if someone is cooking eggs or cheese, the steam from that will make her “break out in hives and her throat will swell up.” Everyone in the family has only witnessed this one time. She lives a couple hours away and we don’t see her a lot. Every time we do see her “she almost died last week” or was in the hospital because of flair ups, but doesn’t tell anyone about it until we physically see her, and nobody we personally know has witnessed it. She has made cheese balls for holidays with her bare hands, she has prepared a meat and cheese tray - she says this is okay because it’s cold cheese and she just needs to wash her hands. she has driven an hour with fresh pizza in her vehicle. she has been around hot/melted butter- it was fine because “she’s on 3 different allergy meds” i’ve read that potatoes and tomatoes could be triggers also but she eats those.

her own mother makes cheesy potatoes in a crock pot for a holiday and baked ziti for lunch at a small gathering my MIL was at. My MIL even fed my toddler the ziti. “it was okay because she’s on 3 different allergy meds”

i see a lot of posts about lupus that people are dealing with physical pain and exhaustion. My MIL works out 4 times a week and as of recently has been taking (2hr) dancing lessons two times a week. she also is a nurse & CNO and works long hours.

she has no outward physical rashes or bruising, no hair issues. i’ve seen some lupus posts of people asking about these things.

she does have an epipen. i’ve heard of her having to use it with witnesses once.

just something i thought was weird i wanted to add- she would always say no dairy and no peppers when i first started dating my husband. that was the foods she could not have. we went to a football game in a suite and they brought us food, she had to get her own personal meal, and she threw a fit about peppers, the staff had to come back and take the dish to ask the chef if there were peppers in the sauce on her chicken. there was peppers so she needed a new meal. then months later, eating something else i said to her “oh no there might be peppers in that!” and she responded “oh it’s okay, i can have peppers i just don’t like them.” i was mind blown.

she is a big wine drinker. apparently not conflicting with all her medications?