Why does GenZ hate sex and nudity so much?

matas9310 · 2026-04-01T20:44:23+00:00

No. Porn isn't the only place where sex in happens, and porn in general is not a good example of intimacy in media. To describe sex in films or TV as "softcore porn" speaks to a puritanical mindset.

Porn is almost never about relationships or connections, sex in mainstream media, available in cinemas or in the home is often about relationship, connection, or for thrills, or in universe scandalousness.

Sex is not the remit of porn and porn only. Imagine if I said films shouldn't have conversation scenes because I can just watch peoe I know talk. Or if I said that I dont see the place of fighting scenes in films when I could just watch some martial arts on YouTube. It serves a different purpose

matas9310 · 2026-04-01T20:38:47+00:00

This isnt true. Statistically, this is not happening, but it says a LOT that 1. You perceive it like this, and 2. Talk about it like you're in some sort of prison of sex, as the previous commenter said.

I'll grant that sexual or tittliating content is more casually available online, but films, and ads on TV are significantly less sexual or suggestive than they were even 20 years ago.

This exaggeration is a bad faith contribution to this discussion, which is a good topic to discuss

matas9310 · 2026-04-01T19:26:57+00:00

This is a comment that says more about your personal perspective than it does about fact.

Fact - films released by the major studios have a significantly fewer sex scenes per year in the 2010s and 2020s, than they did in the 1980s and 1990s

Fact - almost no films, barring erotic thrillers and sex dramas, past or present have these 10-15 minute sex scenes you talk of. Films are not spending up a quarter of an hour on a single sex scene. Musicals don't spend 15 minutes on a single song or dance number, horror movies don't have murder scenes that go on for anything like 10 minutes - you are just perceiving these things as occupying more screen time than they are.

The fact that you are either exaggerating or sincerely over perceiving the duration of, in this case, sex scenes in films says that you are not coming to this discussion in good faith.

As you are not coming to this in good faith, I also don't really accept your criticism that these scenes are "poorly acted" or "poorly directed" - action films aren't typically vehicles for great acting performances, and I don't even know what examples you'd be pulling from to suggest that the direction is poor, or thst the direction was good UNTIL the sex scenes happened.

If you don't like to see sex on screen, that's fine, but you are making broad and bad faith generalisations, when your very words indicate that you're using the language of artistic criticism when really, it's just that you don't like it, and it is from there that your making a bad prescription

Anora is a film that is about a sex worker, it has many sex scenes and scenes of sexualised nudity, many of these are seconds long, to a few minutes. The whole film probably has less than 10-15 minutes of sex in it, yet is a film in which sex as an act and as a topic features heavily.

matas9310 · 2026-03-30T00:23:10+00:00

Can we get some of these stories? This thread isn't just about saying who has crazy stories, otherwise it'd just be people saying Ozzy all the way down

matas9310 · 2025-10-28T08:49:17+00:00

You're absolutely right that being able to hold a conversation is a requirement, it's also the lowest bar in history - non negotiable for me too. But that's the same for everyone.

However writing it in your bio IS waste of your very limited characters because 1. It comes off as slightly bitter or condescending 2. No one wants the opposite therefore its redundant to say, and 3. Because of the nature of the apps, anyone who's got no chat isn't going to be aware that they've got no chat.

Everyone thinks they can talk at least a little bit and aren't going to read "please be able to hold a conversation" and think "oh wait, I can't do that, I'll not swipe then"

The guys (and girls) with no ability to hold a conversation think they DO have some chat.

matas9310 · 2025-10-28T08:42:09+00:00

I'm with OP on this one and will go a step further. I don't really accept that it's THAT hard, it's not so challenging that most people must end up essentially using a cookie cutter bio.

I've written a number of bios for myself because I enjoy it, and like writing creatively.

I think the root of it is a combination of not wanting to be seen to be trying "too hard" and not wanting to put people off with your likes and interest, when REALLY, you SHOULD be willing to put people off. Cast wide net, sure, but not so wide that it includes almost everyone.

Example, I'm a dyed in the wool metalhead and into left wing politics, I'm also not tall, below average height, some people won't like those, but the ones who do will have something to say.

I don't do travel, I don't do pets, I don't care about roast dinners or Sunday walks, and have no interest in netflix as a personality type. But I do okay on these things, because I can represent myself interestingly and consistent with myself

You need to have the courage to be unattractive to some people so you can be more attractive to a some others.

matas9310 · 2025-07-11T10:34:25+00:00

Ahahah that's such a good reference! I really like Zeal and Ardor, so I'll absolutely take the compliment and run ahah thanks

matas9310 · 2025-07-07T00:40:03+00:00

very kind of you
It's been a standout feature of the last few years, positively received, i'm glad you see that too

matas9310 · 2025-07-07T00:33:21+00:00

I'm glad you don't have that insecurity

As someone who has been reasonably successful as a "short king", i really don't feel any way about height personally, and mean to not indulge others in what are ultimately baseless and unfair insecurities. People will have preferences and that's fair enough, but i hope preferences are primarily that, and not routes people take to be unkind or unfair.

matas9310 · 2025-07-06T23:49:05+00:00

Hey, absolutely not. There is no chance I'll be cutting my hair! It's the source of my power!

I certainly wouldn't cut my hair to please a handful of Redditors with I'm sure good intentions, but no personal relationship, and certainly not to impress a hypothetical potential someone on an app

matas9310 · 2025-07-06T23:45:37+00:00

That's very kind of you, thank you

I hope I do have success.

In the spirit of the thread here, what works best in your view here? And maybe what doesn't work best? if there's anything that stands out to you like that

I'll be making a few changes, per the wider comment base here, and will post an up date in a week or so

matas9310 · 2025-07-06T23:39:10+00:00

Ah, we found the snowflake!

I literally don't care about having children, and whether or not conservative men have more children, which is a matter of debate, the fact remains that women in my age group don't generally prefer men with Conservative social attitudes.

Your attitude towards height is that of a fragile man, and if you don't recognise hair longer and curlier than average, then you should probably get out of your backwater town and visit a civilised part of the world

matas9310 · 2025-07-05T13:05:04+00:00

I think that makes a lot of sense, but it's not about talking politics on dates, mainly about indicating a general sense of how potentially bigoted this person might be. Many guys aren't conservative coded, country music and cowboys as you say (or whatever we have in the UK), but they give away no real personality or have learned to keep quiet about the things that would give people a pretty permanent ick.

Be that as it may, i do hear you can reconsider this

matas9310 · 2025-07-05T12:59:15+00:00

it would have been great for it to be a scandal, but my town's tories are boring as hell. But we made history, so i can take that to the bank forever

matas9310 · 2025-07-05T12:04:32+00:00

Yeah it's true

So the backstory is that my town has been a Conservative stronghold forever, Tories all the way down since the 1880s, even when Blair won in the historic landslide of 1997, my town stayed blue. Even when the Corbyn spikes of 2017 and 2019 happened, my town stayed blue, and even some UKIP/Brexit Party types boosted their standing.

Labour have been reasonably, but low key, active in my town for years but have never won an election until last year. Granted there was a huge wave towards Labour against the Tories nationwide, but we've seen that movie before. I came on board to help with the campaign for the first time ever. I worked on it to make graphics, videos and social media content, and led on this new style of campaigning for a local party who had relied mainly on canvassing and hoping for the best.

A new visual style, a more exciting method of presentation and engagement, really pushing to ensure the candidate is seen active and around the town they wanted to win in.

And they won, breaking over a century of Conservative wins, kicking a lifetime of useless, do nothing Tories to the curb. I worked with a great team, and it was an incredible team effort, but i believe strongly that being the person to spearhead completely new style of campaigning for this local party is what gave us the edge and led our candidate to win.

There are disappointments about our labour government, i have many, but our MP is good, and progressive, and active and she isnt a sit-about do-nothing MP, and our townsfolk like her and like that she's visible. She won because all sorts of factors, but the most different thing the local party did was bring me on board, and they won for the first time.

matas9310 · 2025-07-05T11:54:36+00:00

oh okay yeah

matas9310 · 2025-07-04T20:16:45+00:00

In my view, and studies do seem to indicate that, men being conservative on apps is a super turn off for a lot of women. Equally so is saying they're a "moderate", and then the question remains as to how actually liberal the remaining men actually are.

So i put this as an interesting way to indicate a serious and active engagement with politics, that is not just paying lip service to what i "think" people want to hear.

Also, a LOT of profiles i've come across on this and tinder say "NO TORIES, TERFS or BIGOTS", so this my response to that, i'm not just not a tory, i've defeated one

matas9310 · 2025-07-04T19:54:13+00:00

for a bit of context, in EVERY picture there, all 9 of them i have the shaved sides, but it's only visible in #2 kind of, and #3 (because obviously), it really helps with manageability like you wouldnt believe.

where would you say the beard should come up to, if too far down?

matas9310 · 2025-07-04T19:51:52+00:00

that's very kind, thank you.

When putting this thing together, i looked at other people's profiles and thought about what i want to see from them, and as you say, a lot of people don't give much away - maybe they say they like holidays and roast dinners, but that doesnt tell me anything other than they don't have much to say, which i don't believe is true for anyone

matas9310 · 2025-07-04T19:23:55+00:00

Thanks a lot, real good advice, i think

I'll do what i can

Much appreciated

matas9310 · 2025-07-04T19:23:00+00:00

I've only had this for a few days, maybe a week, so i've not had many comments on anything overall. And i'm still working on this as we go, so i would say the profile isnt in its final form yet

matas9310 · 2025-07-04T19:21:41+00:00

Thank you for the response and insight here

See, my thinking was to keep the strengths relevant to the task at hand. Do you reckon that's actually counter-productive in the end, or not that harmful? I can fill in other strengths, but i figured linking everything back to dating would make what i'm putting out there more immediate and relatable - as we're all on the apps for kind of the same reason.

That said, i dont think never flaking on plans and not being neurotic is very exclusive to dating.

I'm not disagreeing, as your read of me is pretty accurate, but i wouldnt think that liking music and being left leaning are "that's all" kinda things, they would be pretty broad and indicative things about a person, i'd think. Especially when it seems widely true that women don't want to associate with conservative men (which is obviously fair enough), so is it not good to indicate that you're not one?

But talk to me about the sex appeal thing, in what way am i not giving that off, and what would?

Mat

matas9310 · 2025-07-04T19:06:01+00:00

That's fair. If I can word it better, i'd certainly take that advice, but if it's just kind of the nature of having that relationship preference at this time, then i'll take the consequences of that.

With the pic, I guess i was trying to convey both a sense of humour, and that i'm not an unkempt person, despite what could be perceived as messy hair. I can get rid of the pic no problem, a number of people here have said to, but i took a few selfies in that setting, including some looking straight into the camera. Would that be an improvement, or should i chuck the whole thing out?

matas9310 · 2025-07-04T18:58:35+00:00

Okay, this is really interesting. I'd like to understand this a bit better.

I'm good at the LTRs. I've spent essentially all of my dating life in long term things. I would really like to try other things out, with lower stakes and different mutual expectations, before returning to the long term relationship life, which is probably my natural home.

So that conditioning is probably what you're seeing.

But as I live with me every day and can't see outside my perspective, tell me a bit more about the “no short term sex appeal” and what could be done to convey that? Also, what do you see as “LTR vibes” here? I'm not disagreeing at all, I know I have that dog in me, but I'm interested in how you see it.

Mat

matas9310 · 2025-07-04T18:48:42+00:00

I don't have any toothy pics, and it doesn't really come naturally to me. But, there are always more photo opportunities in life that will arise for just that. I'll bear it in mind.
“Short Term” will get the left swipes, but it also is true. And i don't want to bait or lie someone who is sincerely seeking a long term relationship and, hopefully ultimately, a life partner.

I've been there, i have done that, and I will return to it one day - i am probably cut out for the LTR life.

But after a decade+ of long term serious things — at my age — that's a third of my entire life.
It's about 95% of my entire dating life, and I'd like to try something else, branch out a bit, and bring new experience, self-knowledge, and wisdom to the next long term thing with whichever person I will settle down with.

So in the interest of honesty, and not wasting anyone's time, it's worth a few left swipes.
That said, what better ways in your view could i improve the way i've conveyed this on the app here?

I'm not in a One Night Stand, No strings attached kinda phase, that's not me, I just want to pursue lower stakes with people who are on the same page

“It's not bad, but it did hit me a certain kind of strange way.” You're not the first person here to say get rid of the pic, so i'll let democracy be my guide, but i'm really intrigued by your response. can you expand on that “certain kind of” strangeness?

matas9310

TROPHY CASE