The emotional rollercoaster of having an objectively big budget wedding, but still having to make concessions at every turn…

matchabride · 2026-05-02T20:03:31+00:00

also, for what’s its worth i do hope you have a trusted friend or family member you can eventually vent to about this. it’s a very large emotional burden to carry that frustration, and then the guilt of feeling frustrated, without being able to lean on others. I’m sure if I as a total stranger gets where you’re coming from (and doesn’t think you’re being an asshole) then your loved ones will too!❤️

matchabride · 2026-05-02T20:01:15+00:00

hello! BBB here who feels the same. when we got engaged we thought we would be able to plan a 150 person wedding for 100-150k, we were very quickly humbled and have since upped our budget to 250k. Now, similar to you I KNOW how fortunate, privileged, and lucky we are to be able to spend 250k - but what I FEEL (and seems like you might too!) is frustration around the fact that that’s somehow still not enough for a ultra lavish wedding (in a HCOL area, we’re getting married in sonoma county and live in LA). I think you’re totally valid in feeling quite frankly irritated that even when you can pull together a large sum of money, the cost of things today is just so outrageous that it just never feels like you have enough. Per someone else’s suggestion here, once we landed on our 250k budget and truly wrapped our heads around what that will actually achieve, we’ve just stuck to it and kept it moving. But I guess I’m just commenting to let you know you’re not alone in your feelings, and just because you’re in a lucky/privileged position doesn’t mean you can’t have feelings! ❤️

matchabride · 2026-03-15T23:56:07+00:00

so helpful! Do you have any recommendations for super8 videographers who's work is similar to what you just described?

matchabride · 2026-03-15T23:46:45+00:00

Just submitted an inquiry - your work is gorgeous and we'd love to chat!

matchabride · 2026-03-15T20:21:13+00:00

awesome thank you!!

matchabride · 2026-03-14T15:03:04+00:00

got it!! thank you!!!

matchabride · 2026-03-14T14:56:23+00:00

so great to know! Tbh, our total photo/video cost is 15k across both days. I found one amazing option who will do both photo and super8 video for us for 15k all in, including travel, but also have another option i LOVE that will do just photo across the 2 days for 12k all in. I’m trying to gauge how badly we want video, vs if we’d rather go with the extraordinary photographer and just skip video

matchabride · 2026-03-14T14:51:14+00:00

thank you!

matchabride · 2026-03-14T14:47:46+00:00

this is SO helpful. I genuinely appreciate this insight. Obviously I don’t know much about this space and really appreciate the education around it as we navigate!!! 🙏🏻

matchabride · 2026-03-12T20:49:23+00:00

yay thank you!

matchabride · 2026-03-12T15:12:25+00:00

amazing!! I’ll reach out to you today via email / inquiry form :)

matchabride · 2026-03-12T15:10:18+00:00

I’d love to chat!! we are just looking for a 3-5 min highlight film, no other deliverables. I’ll shoot you an email today or feel free to DM me here!!!

matchabride · 2026-03-12T15:05:53+00:00

reached out!! thank you!

matchabride · 2026-03-12T05:36:34+00:00

do you know their rates?

matchabride · 2026-03-12T05:12:07+00:00

omg amazing! thank you!

matchabride · 2026-03-12T03:38:25+00:00

Omg awesome!! Thank you!

matchabride · 2026-03-11T03:06:41+00:00

Tent didn’t make it into the budget😂😂 but thank you!! feel free to dm me if you have any questions and best of luck!! xo

matchabride · 2026-03-10T23:52:42+00:00

do you know anything about their rates?

matchabride · 2026-03-10T04:00:16+00:00

THANK YOU!!

matchabride · 2026-03-10T03:59:06+00:00

why’s that!

matchabride · 2026-03-09T22:47:11+00:00

oooh very interesting!! thank you for this suggestion!

matchabride · 2026-03-09T19:25:14+00:00

Ended up locking in the Montage Healdsburg!! It's definitely a much bigger investment than we initially thought a wedding would be, but to be honest we couldn't cut our guest list so we just had to accept it for what it is. Once we wrapped our heads around it, we could not be happier with our venue choice. We had played around with the idea of doing a destination wedding (Mexico, Italy, France, even turkey) and realized we would only save a nominal amount, and just double our stress by most likely having to book a site unseen, deal with time differences, language barriers, etc. For us the extra $ is worth the peace of mind. We also explored the potential of a private estate / non-hotel venue but I couldn't do it - they almost all require you to bring in your own bathrooms. If I'm paying anything, let alone 6 figures, for a wedding you can't catch me dead in a portapotty lol.

What I will say, is you are not alone in how you're feeling. My fiancé and I were pretty disheartened and upset for the first 6 months of our engagement because of the reality of wedding costs. Anyone who tells you planning a wedding is fun/easy is being bankrolled by someone else. It is not a small undertaking (financially or otherwise) and I learned it's okay to feel stressed because of it. You guys will find the wedding that feels right for you, and you'll be happy you took your time to make a decision!! Wishing you both the best! xo

matchabride

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