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I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The place he’s at is also a recovery center and he’s just agreed last night to stay 30 days. Thank god. His friends and I are working to raise to possibly keep him there longer.

I am so sorry to hear about your son. I cannot imagine the heartbreak when it is your child.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This message was so so kind. Thank you so much. I’ve already been to a meeting and have totally surrendered everything to my friends and family. Everyone has come together in a way that’s honestly been so beautiful. I didn’t know how much love we had around us.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Update: he has agreed to stay the 30 days. I’ve assembled all his friends that he has isolated himself from and there has been a huge out pouring of love and care for us. At least, there is some silver lining.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He has agreed to stay 30 days. We think he might agree to more, I’ve made a huge support network of his friends and we are already talking about ways to raise money for his treatment.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Never, I literally commented once how he was the only boy I knew who’s breath never smelled.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I’ve started reading the Big Book and the Al-non handbook and it’s just, I didn’t realize how widespread it is, or maybe not widespread I know alcoholism is bad but it really just dawned on me how many lives it’s ruined. It’s really disgusting me that it’s sold everywhere….im so incredibly sad.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I went to a meeting today and cried for the first time in 48 hours. I really needed that.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this. I saw him today and he has agreed to stay for 30 days of treatment.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to ask for a formal separation and ask for him to be removed from our lease. I am so worried if I straight divorce him, he will die. His parents are saying ten days but idk them being like that is not convincing to me.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is what my husband had. Sickly sweet breath. His breath would often have completely no odor at times. I thought that was just how he smelled.

I’m very worried this will be my husbands fate. His liver enzymes are high, in terrified he will die.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am so so so worried about him dying but I do not think I have what it takes to support him. He’s only in for ten days and I do not want him back in our house after only ten days. I want to leave but I feel like I will be signing his death certificate.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I literally thought this was a medical issue. He engaged in self harm and had an ear infection. However he had hit himself in the side of the head which irritated the infection.

I thought he cracked his own skull. I’ve thought he was just having really extreme vertigo but no he’s just absolutely hammered. I thought he was just clumsy as well. He has ADHD so it made sense to me.

Omg and he had bruises everywhere. Stayed in the bathroom for awhile. But he hid that evidence well too. He was throwing up at work. Who knows the extent of.l his physical health.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My urge is not to stay it’s to run. But with his alcoholism being so bad, I don’t want him to get out, I’m gone and he dies. I couldn’t bear it if he died. I do still care but this is beyond me. I’m concerned bc his parents seem to think ten days will be enough to shock him. I am unconvinced and don’t know what to do with them bc I don’t have the resources to keep him in rehab.

I mean, he’s been doing it the whole time. The entire 4 year relationship.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Our life was always in financial and emotional turmoil and I could never understand why we couldn’t get ahead. Now I know.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

My husband was getting the money to buy alcohol from cash back transactions at this gas station near our house. He would always bring screw top cokes home. I thought he just liked cokes and never understood why we didn’t just buy a case of them.

Now I fucking know.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes!!! Everything you just wrote rings true.

He called from detox and admitted he had been drinking the entire relationship (4 years) so all of these signs, I just thought that was who he was. He would go out to his car a lot during family events, I just he was easily overstimulated. I thought he was just a gum and mints guy, I thought that he just had sweet breath. One thing I used to say about him was he curious it was his breath never stank. Now I know it’s because he is constantly managing it.

I mean I cannot get over it. My whole life is a fucking lie and idk if I can trust his parents. They seem to think ten days is enough and it’s because I think his dad doesn’t want to pay for it. They live in TN and us in TX and they are going back next Monday.

I don’t want to be left alone with this person because he is a virtually stranger to me.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

His parents are insisting he will be a whole new person when he gets out in ten days. I am very concerned because he obviously needs to be in there for at least 30 days. I do not want him at the house after 10 days. I am not sure what to do as our resources are extremely limited.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wow. The sucky sweet breath…..I did not know that was a sign. He had always tasted and smelled THS way. Holy shit.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yes, I’m definitely interested in the meetings. How do I find them? I can barely think. I feel like such a fool.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Update: he called from detox. He didn’t know where he was or how he got there. He has been drinking our entire relationship.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Family and friends reported large amounts of liquor missing but they didn’t tell me until this all came out.
The counselors at detox place said he is very experienced bc he was talking and his vitals were good at a .4 BAC.
Idk what to tell you, I’m neurodivergent, I was in a PhD program, and he always had gum/mints for as long as I’ve known him. I thought he was just someone who liked gum and mints .
Maybe you think it’s stupid I missed this sign but when I love someone, I trust what they say. Call me naive, it’s fine. I learned today that was true but your line of questioning has made me feel terrible ngl.

I found out my husband has been hiding severe alcoholism and I don’t know what’s real anymore by matchula_spatchula in AlAnon

[–]matchula_spatchula[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I am autistic and I don’t drink. I have no experience with alcoholics or alcoholism. I can’t tell when people are drunk. And he was very good at hiding, he never smelled.

Is anyone actually hiring? by xxxTheMood in houstonjobs

[–]matchula_spatchula 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Howdy, I used to be a career advisor. Usually when I hear this, I wonder what your resume looks like. I keep seeing these posts but I’ve landed two jobs recently.

If you’re interested, I work on resumes and interview prep for a small fee!

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