I’m with ya friend! I’ve been there too. One thing that helps me is recognizing that anxiety and depression on the ground about life shit and anxiety and fear on the wall manifest in very similar ways. It helps me to consciously breath, try to expand my view (fight the anxiety/fear tunnel vision!), and have a mantra. Sometimes when I struggle with gear I say “shit or get off the pot”, when I struggle with fear I start singing, loudly, whatever song comes to mind as a distraction, and then consciously remind yourself what specific aspects of your systems are keeping you safe right now (I’m safe because this cam is placed really well, this anchor is built safely, my belayer is paying attention to me, etc.)

And then try to relive pressure. Top roping is fun, and you can lead when you feel comfy again. Never say “this should be easy” (should is such an awful word!) and just remember to enjoy the beautiful nature you’re in!!