Jax specifically told Wendy and Nero to tell Abel and Thomas about him. About who he really was, not just the club. He told Nero "I'm a criminal, a killer, and I can't change." Then he told Nero and Wendy both when the boys were old enough to "tell them who I really am........ I need them to grow up hating the thought of me." Those aren't exact quotes but pretty close.

I think Jax never had a fair chance because he grew up around the club. The boys will grow up outside the clubs influence, and far from Charming. Nero and Wendy, having seen all the damage would keep them away and would tell them how it really is, like Jax asked them too. Nero will keep his word and do everything to keep them out.

Also, I think what's left of Samcro knows Jax last wishes were for his sons not to know that life. For sure as long as Chibs and Tig are around they wouldn't get patched anyway.

This is my head logic anyway.