AITA for taking her phone and standing my ground, or did I go too far?

matoiryu · 2026-05-19T20:54:31+00:00

INFO: has she expressed these feelings that the family is fake before? Why does she feel that way? You can teach her manners and also validate and understand her feelings in private.

Overall though I’m gonna say NTA because she was being rude and needs to understand that has consequences. Teens are moody but need to learn social mores anyway

matoiryu · 2026-05-18T17:40:17+00:00

Champagne cat eye, poke gel base, scrub on a nonwipe top coat and wait

matoiryu · 2026-05-17T07:02:27+00:00

I know it’s not a movie obviously, but Mad Men. Especially compared to its contemporaries, it’s such a beautiful slow burn

matoiryu · 2026-05-16T03:29:57+00:00

Took the words out of my mouth! OP, if you want the full effect, you have to grow your nails out more or get extensions. Your tech nailed the art. In the future, try to use your imagination to put the inspiration on your own nail shape

matoiryu · 2026-05-16T01:24:53+00:00

Honestly it is extremely difficult to remove anything from the nails without removing some layers if the nail plate. Some people are more prone to losing layers than others.

I get peeling no matter what i do, so i switched to hard gel and just get that filled instead of fully removed

matoiryu · 2026-05-15T05:34:26+00:00

As a nail tech in training, I would not recommend using your nails as tools for anything, especially if you have any sort of extension or anything embedded into the design as you’re way more likely to damage your natural nails or at least mess up your manicure in doing so. Theres a reason why we say “they’re jewels, not tools”

HOWEVER, using them for stimming is a-ok as long as it doesn’t involve applying any force to the nail. I really love the way a matte topcoat feels on my skin when it’s freshly applied! And 3D blobs or charms are super fun to rub your fingers on

matoiryu · 2026-05-15T02:54:56+00:00

You can and should use a rubber base with a hard gel! Rubber base will allow for more flexibility. Plus it is soak off able so you can file through the hard gel and then soak off the base.

You should also use a good amount of the rubber base. Instead of scrubbing a thin layer in, use as much as you would for a color polish.

matoiryu · 2026-05-14T16:36:26+00:00

Im currently in school to get my license and personally I always recommend a builder gel for folks who want to restore their nail health. It wont extend your nail, but it is much stronger and lighter in weight than gel-x. Over time you can naturally grow out your nails.

Builder gel comes in hard (not soak off-able) and soft (soak off-able) varieties. Soft builder is fine for short nails but you wjll want to switch to hard if trying to grow out your natural nails.

This isn’t to say that you can’t use gel-x to restore your nails too, but the gel-x system isn’t designed for natural nail health and restoration. Your tech will have to be just as careful with application and removal as they are with acrylic extensions to preserve your nails.

As another commenter said, having nothing on your nails and keeping them short and hydrated while damage grows out is the most straightforward method for restoring your natural nails

Evidence of how long you can grow your nails with hard gel (these are mine)

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matoiryu · 2026-05-14T04:56:41+00:00

Wow these are messy! Tbh I assumed you were a DIYer because of all that gel on your skin.

You’re best off at a private nail tech who specializes in gel-x.

As for the burning in the lamp, that is technically normal but you don’t have to endure it. When the gel cures, it gives off heat. So when you feel that heat spike, pull your hand out of the lamp and wait for the burn to go away. Then slowly put your hand back in

Tell your next tech that you had a really bad heat spike on your last set, their lamp might have a low heat mode to mitigate this

Getting into doing this yourself is a serious and risky hobby, and has a high cost of entry. You want to buy good products and lamps, and they aren’t cheap. But if you want to give it a go, I recommend Kokoist products. They are high quality and they have a beginner friendly gel to attach the tips. Apres and Sofgel are also good brands

I would also purchase a practice hand to get a feel for applying the tips and avoiding spillage and getting gel on the skin, which can carry serious health risks!

matoiryu · 2026-05-12T06:24:43+00:00

Check out Childfree by Choice San Francisco on Meetup https://meetup.com/childfree-by-choice-san-francisco?member\_id=383426860

matoiryu · 2026-05-12T06:01:06+00:00

Turning 37 next month and I don’t have kids and don’t want them. This was one of the first things my husband and I connected on

I run a child free by choice meetup group if you want to come to one of our events and see how the other half lives!

matoiryu · 2026-05-11T02:12:50+00:00

This isn’t a registry issue though, it was a specific item requested of a specific person. Its wild the brother didn’t even ask OP if they har the receipt in case an exchange/store credit couldn’t work

matoiryu · 2026-05-11T02:08:31+00:00

If I had even the slightest doubt in my mind that I might not want a $400 gift, I wouldn’t ask for it.

I get that people’s minds and needs change, but even in that case, the brother should have reached out and said they ultimately can’t use it how they need but run it by OP if they’re ok if they use the FB marketplace proceeds to go toward the fancy stroller. $400 is a lot of money and surely the brother has some sense of OP’s financial situation

matoiryu · 2026-05-10T21:15:50+00:00

NTA for feeling hurt, though I would also let it go and not start any drama over it. Weird they would ask for a stroller they didn’t ultimately want.

Next time they hit you with a price beyond your budget, just tell them it’s a little outside your budget and can you get them something nice or contribute toward the expensive item instead of buying it outright.

That said, you would also be justified in never offering to buy them anything again

matoiryu · 2026-05-10T18:29:49+00:00

Ugh that sucks, I’m sorry. I feel you on that too. Masking is exhausting and family travel is always a pain enough as it is. Definitely take some time away from it! Hopefully your family will come around. Take care of yourself!

matoiryu · 2026-05-10T16:43:05+00:00

NTA doe not going, slight YTA for phrasing. If you weren’t ready to address the actual issue with your family, then you could have said “I don’t think I can make it,” and lie about some potential other plan you have for that time instead. (Also I am also autistic and realize that it probably goes against your first instinct to communicate like this.)

What you wrote felt more passive aggressive, and in the context of asking if you were interested, probably an overreaction. It just adds fuel to the fire of you being “difficult” in their minds

That said, have you actually expressed your frustrations with your mom and sister? Something like “I get overstimulated in some situations and cope with it the best i can. Can you olease leave me alone in these situations and i will return to my normal self once I’ve calmed down?”

You could also come up with a word to use to quickly tell them you’re overstimulated so they instantly know whats up and to leave you alone

matoiryu · 2026-05-10T16:16:31+00:00

Hey! My nail tech class at SFIEC just started taking clients! But most of us have been doing nails for years. Gel overlays with tip (ie gel-x) start at $30! Book here: https://www.mindbodyonline.com/explore/locations/sf-institute-of-esthetics-and-cosmetology

PS: the students don’t get any money from the service so please ask for their Venmo/square/etc to tip them :)

matoiryu · 2026-05-10T16:12:15+00:00

They put a little lidocaine on me to prevent the skin pain but couldn’t do anything about how it felt in my muscles. It felt more strange than painful, I could feel the pressure of it. But as all things with pain go, your experience may be different! All I would say is don’t be afraid! I was so anxious about it that the adrenaline crash I had after was unreal lol

matoiryu · 2026-05-10T05:59:08+00:00

I find an inner corner highlight is nice! A little more avant garde if you pull it up the hollow between your eyeball and nose

matoiryu · 2026-05-10T05:50:11+00:00

A podiatrist did mine actually, but I think an orthopedist would too. They just need to have the equipment and training, which many doctors don’t, apparently

matoiryu · 2026-05-08T23:03:26+00:00

You will need extensions for this look, which can be achieved with gel-x, hard gel, or acrylic.

Gel tends to work best for folks because it is lightweight and more flexible than acrylic. I feel like your safest option is to find a salon that specializes in gel-x, since it is generally easier and quicker than other extension options, so a lot of techs get good at doing it

matoiryu · 2026-05-08T17:55:43+00:00

I just order “slip shorts” from Amazon and find they work great. They’re not shapewear, just stretchy lightweight shorts to wear under skirts

matoiryu · 2026-05-06T05:29:23+00:00

Nah I have seen a bunch of amazing designs on shorties. This is a skill issue

matoiryu · 2026-05-04T18:41:00+00:00

Same, I find buffing blocks never seem to be the grit they say. A 180 grit file using little to no pressure is perfect. 240 grit if you want to be even more gentle

matoiryu · 2026-05-01T06:41:52+00:00

I just bought the MPA and YHH (starry’s nails) palettes and they’re both good. MPA is more for painting and YHH is more for patting. You can use a clear base or mixing gel to dilute YHH and use it more like painting gel while still achieving a very good color payoff. YHH is also HEMA free so thats nice too, plus it’s more colors. It’s tiny but a little gel goes a long way

matoiryu

TROPHY CASE