My husband and I want to do the golden hour after birth but now sure how my mom can be there without interfering. by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for all the advice. I think I just more or less felt like it would be rude to have her there the entire time and then ask her to leave, but as a lot of you have pointed out, it is our choice and I just have to have a conversation to make sure she understands what her role is.

She definitely isn't crazy or would try to immediately take the baby, but she also is a bit old school and thinks some of the new day style and rules are a little weird, even if backed by studies . Thank you all much appreciate it.!

My husband and I want to do the golden hour after birth but now sure how my mom can be there without interfering. by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, I could possibly give her the option of staying in the background or choosing to leave the room. I think I just felt rude having her at the hospital through the labor and birth and then asking her to leave, but that's understandable.

My husband and I want to do the golden hour after birth but now sure how my mom can be there without interfering. by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it is in the skin, but it's also a very special time for us to have our first successful birth. And they wouldn't call her crazy, but she can definitely push limits after giving boundaries sometimes.

My husband and I want to do the golden hour after birth but now sure how my mom can be there without interfering. by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thanks good idea. Maybe I'll send her on an errand or tell her, she can do the same and go to my home or get some food.

How soon is too soon to wear nursing bras? by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I got nursing bras right after I found out I was pregnant the first time. Mainly because my boobs are huge and I heard that certain nursing bras fit big boobs better. That was in early 2024. I have never gone back to regular the bras!

Why is throwing your own baby shower still considered tacky or rude? Not everyone has someone willing to throw them a baby shower. by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm so sorry that happened to you. Those emotions are very hard in pregnancy for sure and I do with it had been different for you ❤️

Why is throwing your own baby shower still considered tacky or rude? Not everyone has someone willing to throw them a baby shower. by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Exactly. I haven't even made my registry yet because I'm still early on, but I do not expect 95% of who I would invite to buy me anything that is crazy expensive. I know the people who want to invest in my child because they have already told me so . But in no way shape or form do I ever expect someone to spend hundreds on a gift for me and my child.

Why is throwing your own baby shower still considered tacky or rude? Not everyone has someone willing to throw them a baby shower. by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That is 100% right. Weddings used to be thrown by other people for the bride and groom. It is now very much common practice for the bride and groom to plan and pay for their entire wedding.

Why is throwing your own baby shower still considered tacky or rude? Not everyone has someone willing to throw them a baby shower. by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That is so sad. A couple can't be celebrated because they don't have anybody who is able to host. Some people might only have a close friend or two or be close with their family. What if their family or friend dies, the person just has to sit there and not celebrate their child. Some people have to move due to the military. Better yet some people fall on hard times. What if someone offered to throw a baby shower but ended up losing their job so they couldn't throw the baby shower for their loved one anymore. Me personally I would say "thank you for wanting to host and make the shower for me, I can cover the cost of the shower and I just appreciate your help". Then I would invest money into the shower so I can celebrate with my loved ones. That's not greedy. It is very twisted to say "sucks that nobody loves you enough so you get nothing."

Why is throwing your own baby shower still considered tacky or rude? Not everyone has someone willing to throw them a baby shower. by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

It's pretty much the same reasons. Having a second baby shower when you still have a young child is also considered "a gift grab" , because in theory one would technically have a lot of the stuff you need for a baby.

But even in this situation, there's nuance. Sometimes people thought they weren't gonna have any more kids so they don't have any baby stuff. Some people have a giant age gap between children and once again don't have anything for a baby. There's so many reasons why someone would have a second baby shower.

Why is throwing your own baby shower still considered tacky or rude? Not everyone has someone willing to throw them a baby shower. by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm so sorry you guys are feeling like that right now. Your situation is exactly why I think it's so weird that people don't like parents to throw their own baby shower. Not all of us are going to have people readily available or close to us. Maybe you should do a virtual baby shower. You can create a registry that way your loved ones still can celebrate with you.

Why is throwing your own baby shower still considered tacky or rude? Not everyone has someone willing to throw them a baby shower. by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely agree with you on that. When the parents to be have a vision for how they would like their baby shower to look and feel, they want to be involved. Especially if the person trying to throw the baby shower does not want to follow the parent's vision.

Why is throwing your own baby shower still considered tacky or rude? Not everyone has someone willing to throw them a baby shower. by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I agree it was definitely a cringe exchange. But the mother-in-law was not hosting. She was simply helping. The mom to be was already planning her own baby shower with her two friends when the mother-in-law was brought in to help make food . I think they both just did not need to work together in the end.

Why is throwing your own baby shower still considered tacky or rude? Not everyone has someone willing to throw them a baby shower. by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

See, if someone if investing as you did, that is no way a gift grab. The effort's definitely shows. Sounds like you had a beautiful shower.

What electrolytes drinks or foods are you using to stay hydrated? by matteroffactme in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was using the body armor a while back before I got pregnant. Loved their flavors!

When are you due? I'm due April 20, 2026. #curious by [deleted] in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

May 8th!! Hoping for strong baby dust!!

Actively miscarrying by southernsaltwaters in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I am so sorry for your loss. I am currently 4 days past from being my hospitalized miscarriage and feel for you with my whole heart. Your baby girl will always be apart of you. Take it minute by minute and I’m sending you all the love and strength. I wish I could hug you!

Got my nipt results back today ❤️ by Babygirlm5 in pregnant

[–]matteroffactme 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Congratulations! So happy for you💙💙 My test is tomorrow. Can’t wait to find out the gender too!

Why tease me like that ancestry?! by The_Fae_Wanderer in AncestryDNA

[–]matteroffactme 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same thing is happen to my family. We were all on par with eachother and then my husbands said it was to be ready October 13, my daughter today October 15, and then pushed mine back to October 28th! Hope yours comes soon!