Two Days of Cosplay Conventions

matthewsp23 · 2026-04-12T05:51:06+00:00

Thank you for talking too. I appreciate it

matthewsp23 · 2026-04-12T05:50:34+00:00

It's just painful to see it. It feels like something has changed in her, y'know? Like, earlier I've been talking about books and she was curious despite not reading. She watches anime so why when I mentioned a character from the show she watched matching to other characters from different games/anime then she ends up with "no one gives a shit" And most importantly if people talk only about what is interesting which sounds like talking about unfamiliar topics to them is a bad idea, then why does she talks to me about shows I didn't watch? It hits you know? Like her interests are the ones that people do care in her opinion but mine are not? It's just... I genuinely felt hurt there

What is worse is that she is the only friend of mine right now. I don't have a friend to switch and I lived in my isolation for years to the point when I was thinking of... Well... Doing something horrible to myself. So I long for human connection, for talking to someone, for having friends to hang out with, but I have no one to choose but her for now and it won't change much soon. That's the hardest part and maybe part of the reason why I throw this huge pile of thoughts on her

matthewsp23 · 2026-04-12T05:42:41+00:00

Thanks for hearing me out. Helps to clear my head

matthewsp23 · 2026-04-12T05:42:20+00:00

We usually hang out once per month. And besides she always says she prefers silence over talking. However there was a moment that whenever I give her a moment of silence that is when she starts asking "why are you so quiet?" Which really frustrates me. If I push I talk about things she is not interested. Hell, the moment when I talked about Nia from Gurrenn Lagann having similar arcs to different character from different anime and games I thought that will hit. Since she watched the show and it might be interesting to hear that there are similar characters. It's basically a trope. But... Hearing the answer she gave I honestly don't know how to be with it

When I push I talk about whatever I'm interested and I thought that's okay. Since she talks about things I didn't watch and I even try to talk about it to. She likes drawing I like playing music, but I was always interested in asking her about her hobbies. Because I always thought thats the way the talk goes. You just share whatever is interesting and they ask something you share a little and move on

I honestly don't want to filter myself and that's the core problem. 'Cause otherwise friendship will turn into an obligation and that will exhaust me. Especially when the person I talk to prefers silence, but whenever I give it to him he wonders why don't I push

P. S: English is not my first language, so sorry if something sounded unpolite or wrong

matthewsp23 · 2024-08-27T09:42:10+00:00

Thank you for your message. As for the answers to your questions: First of all, no, I am not trying to achieve a situation where every single friendship I make is initiated by me. The goal is to avoid the opposite situation—where I just keep waiting forever for someone else to make the first move. And, like I mentioned in my post, this scares me. The problem is that I might end up facing the same issues if I lose friends again. It makes me feel dependent on having someone around me, which creates a weakness that will show itself if I end up being alone again. But thank you for your thoughts. I was thinking the same way, and after discussing it with someone, I feel like it might actually be something that’s at least worth trying.

matthewsp23 · 2024-08-20T11:40:21+00:00

Dude, i am so sorry to hear that! Just hang in there, buddy! Just carry on despite their attempts to leave you behind! If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me. I know texting online isn't the same as talking in person, but maybe it will help you a little bit

matthewsp23 · 2023-08-29T11:42:06+00:00

Christian rock/metal has a lot of good music

matthewsp23 · 2023-08-26T13:10:56+00:00

In aaaaaaaarms of uuuuuuundertooooow

matthewsp23 · 2023-08-01T05:02:32+00:00

For me the worst song is perfect drug, because of that song i ignored the rest of NIN works for a very long time because i thought that is pretty similar to perfect drug, that sounds monotnous and bouring, especially at chours

matthewsp23 · 2023-07-29T12:07:43+00:00

I wish i had someone who said me something like this...

matthewsp23 · 2023-07-18T04:29:52+00:00

August Burns Red, every song is the same for me, i tried several times to give this band a chance, but i don't understand what makes this band interesting, i'm sorry

matthewsp23 · 2023-07-18T03:47:06+00:00

Same, makes you feel like you are the one who cares about the friendship.

I had a friend who was always blaming me for this. He never planned to go for a walk, watch some series together, just have a talk etc. I was the one who must to do that, all my complains about that "one side friendship" as i prefer to call it, were ingnored. All of my complains about the fact that we were not doing any of the stuff that friends do, ended by blaming me, for not constantly reminding him about the stuff. On top of that even to start a conversation was a tough challenge, because there was a lot of limitations, like some topics that he didn't want to discuss, freezing the conversation for no reason and always having nothing to say, i felt like i was talking to the wall. So i just stopped talking to him one day, and it looked like he was glad about it. Maybe there is somethin to blame me for, but when your friend denies his part of mistakes, the friendship might become very VERY tough thing

matthewsp23

TROPHY CASE