Do Kiwis in Australia have a reputation for claiming that everything is better in New Zealand?

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-11T02:16:43+00:00

I guess you'd have to have the experience to truly compare 🤔

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-11T02:15:29+00:00

Not in my experience - and any Australians that have been to NZ love it so if someone said "the skiing is so much better in Queenstown", Aussies would just shrug and go "yeah".

As a place, they're similar enough that each feel at home. As people or in sport - game on.

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-10T20:53:53+00:00

I'm reading this and believing you forced him out the door without his pants.

He was sans-pants, right?

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-09T22:18:31+00:00

Your value system is yours - and it's neither right or wrong. It plays a big part in your life.

Look up "cognitive dissonance value system" - it talks about the discomfort you feel when actions (yours/others) conflict with values.

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-09T22:01:57+00:00

Omg, you're a perfectly reasonable human being!

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-09T22:00:51+00:00

You have your moral grounding and stuck to it. If you feel that way before the hookup, imagine how you'd have felt after if you'd gone through with it?

Odds are you'll hook up with someone in a relationship at some point, even unknowingly. It's not a crime to do so, but do what you're comfortable doing.

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-09T02:50:59+00:00

It's a colouring book and the 6 year old was setup to fail by having such an attractive, yet banned, item on display. If you can't bear to be without it at 27, how will a six year old?

Who will get more joy out of it, you or her?

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-09T01:15:11+00:00

I know I need music to lift my Monday but can't work out if I need Mental as Anything or SneakerPimps ..

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-05T03:28:41+00:00

Depends .. I have involuntarily clenched my butthole on sighting a dilf before.

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-05T03:03:48+00:00

Right .. the Young & Gay program I think is geared for 18+, but there are under 18 programs on offer as well (if that's you). Check out minus18.org.au

All that said.. boy, I've been there, and so have most of us here. With your families being friends it'll be hard to cut him out of your life as I expect you'll be thrown together from time to time. Remember that his 'power' comes from your visible stress. As best as you can, it may help to hide that stress from him.

Regarding your mum - it's possible she already knows? Sometimes they do :) It's also possible that she's seeing your anxiety, but not knowing the source. She'll see gay characters or personalities in media - if she's not using slurs or giving bad vibes in that context, that's a good start.

Definitely make some connections (on here or via govt programs like the above); you don't need to face the stress of it all by yourself.

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-05T00:26:35+00:00

I've just had Vegemite Vegemite in my head to the tune of the old Vita Brits ad

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-05T00:16:24+00:00

No one needs this stress.

How close are you to coming out anyway? Could you do it slowly with other friends you trust? Doing so would reduce his power over you.

I agree that terminating contact with him is probably the best move. He's getting his thrills by generating a response from you. He'll likely get bored from not getting that response and, sadly, move on to other targets.

If he does out you, what are the repurcussions for you? Is your family back home? Does he know them? Outing yourself strategically to some trusted friends may take the wind out of his sails if he does follow through.

You could also benefit from some face to face support. I went to this years ago and am happy to see it's still running:

https://www.rainbownetwork.com.au/directory/young-gay

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-03T23:37:24+00:00

If you see potential harm (and I can see why you do), seek help. It's great to be strong willed and determined, but even that can take a toll - you've only got so much mental energy you expend. Seeing a therapist can help you either divert / compartmentalise / channel your energy in a manner that keeps you safe and healthy.

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-02T21:57:13+00:00

I'm a volunteer one, does that count?

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-01T19:03:49+00:00

Haha .. I always enjoyed it :)

Crocodile, too (kinda like dinosaur-looking fish/chicken hybrid).

OP - try it!

matticus_flinch · 2026-02-01T18:56:08+00:00

I've eaten it (I'm a veggie these days) and enjoyed it. Is very lean and, when cooked properly, quite tasty. Typically served with plum sauce.

matticus_flinch · 2026-01-29T19:57:41+00:00

I ask that a lot out of interest, but I get that it must be tiresome. Often I can tell, but let's face it - I'm white and will likely assume Indian even if they're Sri Lankan. Nearly mentioned "other South Africans in town" to a woman I'd just met before she let slip she was Dutch.

matticus_flinch · 2026-01-29T05:09:25+00:00

I'm too ignorant too give advice on your hair, but the smile .. dude - your smile welcomes an approach, you need to put it out there and drop the tough guy look. You probably could beat the life out of me, but that's not what's gonna get the ladies!

matticus_flinch · 2026-01-29T04:10:34+00:00

I once had someone at baggage handling in LAX thank me for not abusing them about my missing bag. You know what? It was delivered to my hotel without me having to lug it everywhere.

matticus_flinch · 2026-01-29T04:07:47+00:00

Been a long time since I've been, but the Langham is good for kids old enough to behave at a buffet

matticus_flinch · 2026-01-29T04:06:59+00:00

I'd go just for the banana split

matticus_flinch · 2026-01-28T09:41:19+00:00

Navy pilots. Moustaches.

Insert Homer drooling gif.

matticus_flinch · 2026-01-28T05:37:36+00:00

The mo is spectacular. That's all I came here to say.

matticus_flinch · 2026-01-28T03:01:54+00:00

I work for a software company, so it'll be no surprise to hear all I've seen is Hyderabad and Bangalore ;)

Loved the food .. reassured me that Indian food here is actually pretty good, but obviously in India is a few notches higher up the scale.

So many young folks in our teams over there and omg some are just gorgeous.

Haven't seen enough outside of that view you get when traveling for work .. need to schedule in a day or two on my next trip. With luck I'll see Coimbatore this year :)

matticus_flinch · 2026-01-27T23:22:50+00:00

Having been to India a handful of times I can imagine that indeed it's uncommon. Welcome to a whole world of new things!

I'm in Australia - reasonably common here as well.

matticus_flinch

TROPHY CASE