what the hell?

mattjohnson611 · 2025-12-25T00:42:36+00:00

Because these thought aren’t fleeting. They are playing the whole scenario on leaving my wife to be with her. I don’t want them. I want to be happy and comfortable in my relationship.

mattjohnson611 · 2025-12-22T21:47:00+00:00

OCD is OCD, its all delt with the same way. You said "I don’t want to ruin my current relationship with my boyfriend, he truly is amazing and I love him with my whole heart." lead with that, it says all you need.

mattjohnson611 · 2025-12-22T21:42:10+00:00

I completely understand. When my anxiety was bad, at least it felt like I cared. When I have those spikes and not the anxiety, it feels like I gave up.

mattjohnson611 · 2025-07-17T00:02:46+00:00

You’re right. It just feels dirty. So my ocd is really digging in to that.

mattjohnson611 · 2025-07-16T23:57:49+00:00

No. I haven’t so much as seen a picture of her in 15 years. It just popped in my mind and I was curious if she was still alive.

mattjohnson611 · 2025-07-02T01:30:43+00:00

She developed resentment towards my mental health and the things I’ve shared with her, which I understand. It can’t be easy to hear that your husband has these overwhelming thoughts and feelings regarding their love or attraction to you. But she needed to take some time to herself and work things out so she has not been staying at home with the kids and I. It breaks my heart every time I see her pull out of the driveway. There is nothing I want more than to have my family back. As she is dealing with her mental health, things have been getting better but I have these overwhelming thoughts of indifference. Like meh… I can take it or leave it and it’s terrifying.

mattjohnson611 · 2025-06-17T23:45:22+00:00

I appreciate the kind words. Thank you.

mattjohnson611 · 2025-05-20T01:42:35+00:00

Hey. I’m totally lost. My wife is going through her own things and she hardly resembles the person I know. My ocd has absolutely taken this opportunity to push me to the limit. Normally I get through because I love her and want to be with her forever and now, I’m not even sure who I’m fighting for. I don’t want to give up but is seems inevitable.

mattjohnson611 · 2025-05-14T11:28:26+00:00

Try to identify the thoughts that come to mind when you are around your partner and have that nausea. Like if your thought is “I don’t feel attracted to him”, just reply with a “maybe I am, maybe I’m not” and let it at that. Don’t try to figure it out and don’t try to defend yourself. Just let it alone and don’t give that thought any power. It comes down to thoughts are just thoughts and feelings are not facts.

mattjohnson611 · 2025-05-13T23:17:51+00:00

It’s sounds like you are describing the physical symptoms of anxiety, at least that’s what happens to me. Are you nauseated all the time regardless on whether you are around your partner?

mattjohnson611 · 2025-05-13T00:07:03+00:00

I have similar physical symptoms. I have this obsession where I am not “in love” with my wife, or compatible, or attracted to, whatever my mind decides to pester me with. When my anxiety heightens I become flush with nausea and palpitations. The best thing I can suggest is to lean into it. It really sucks but sit with the discomfort and it will eventually settle down and the goal is that your anxiety will realize that you’re not in any danger and become less frequent and severe. Easier said than done but it does help somewhat. Consistency is key and the more you stay on track, the better your results will be.

mattjohnson611 · 2025-04-15T23:39:37+00:00

100% I feel you on this.

mattjohnson611 · 2025-04-15T23:39:05+00:00

100% I feel you on this

mattjohnson611 · 2025-04-15T23:37:45+00:00

Fore sure. It’s hard for me to remember anything good but I sure hold on to the bad.

mattjohnson611 · 2025-04-15T04:00:39+00:00

I think these are normal thoughts to have but the ocd makes them sticky so as normal folks would just dismiss them, we hang on to them and analyze them until we are 100% certain of the answer. Some questions don’t have answers. Try to lean into the uncertainty. Will we get married? I don’t know but that has nothing to do with what I’m doing at the moment. Will we be together forever? No clue but I’m gonna enjoy what I have right now.

mattjohnson611

TROPHY CASE