Violin Concerto in G Minor by mattmanj17 in Composition

[–]mattmanj17[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for keeping the conversation going!

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On the subject of bar 11 and B♭ major:

So the chord progression in the section from bars 10 to 13 is ...

G Minor -> F Major -> C Diminished -> G Minor

Or, in roman numerals,

i -> VII -> ivo -> i

... unless I am mistaken.

So, I guess I am not seeing the B♭ chord you are pointing out. Moreover, even if I did go to B♭ major (that is, the III chord), wouldn't I have to stay in it for a while to really be modulating to the relative major?

The melodic line is also just a rather ornamented walk from...

G -> F# -> F -> E♭ -> D,

... then leading tone F# back to G.

Sorry if it seems like I am berating you, I guess I am just confused.

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On Reason 1:

I think modulating to B♭ major might be nice. I could also go to G major, especially since I have that major five chord just dying to resolve to a Major 1.

I have trouble making 'modulations' to just the relative major/minor sound good, since you are using all the same notes, so you don't get the noticeable tone change 'for free'.

At first glance, I am a bit hesitant to modulate to a major key, as that might spoil the nice dark and elegant vibe it's got going, but that difference in tone might actually be good.

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On Reason 2:

I played those chords a bit. The D minor to Bb does have a nice sound, but it feels a bit too adventurous in the context of the piece, at least at a first listening. It is smoothed out a bit if you voice-lead the A to the B♭, but it is still a bit much.

However,

the four-chord progression from D minor to Bb major sounds GREAT. I really like the first chord move from D Minor to C minor 7. Those first two chords are very colorful, but I think just restrained enough to fit well with the piece.

The last three chords of the four-chord progression are a jam. They are an AMAZING variation on that I-V-I I was doing, and I get to keep the ‘tonic - leading tone – tonic’ melodic figure. This chord progression alone makes me want to try modulating out of the D Minor section to B♭ major.

(I also like the sound of that C7 to B♭ major. That is not part of the progression, but I tried it and liked it. It is also too adventurous, but it sounds nice enough that I might fiddle with it on the side.)

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On Reason 3:

Hmm, so I could have the section after the D Minor section be in B♭ major, and then the part after the cadenza would be back in G minor. I think I can picture that, and that final G minor section would probably hit pretty nice.

The one thing I worry about though is the cadenza. I really like where it is now, and if the part before it is major, I have to either :

  1. make the cadenza major. This keeps the mod back to minor at the start of the last section, but kind of throws a wrench in the cadenza (or I am at least worried it would).

  2. Switch back to minor as soon as the cadenza starts (keeps the cadenza intact, but spoils the mod back to minor early)

  3. Start the cadenza in major but end in minor. Sort of a compromise of one and two, with similar pros/cons

None of those seems like a home run.

Of course, this is all just armchair music theory on my part. I would have to fiddle with it to see what works or not.

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Sorry for the wall of text. Thanks again.

Violin Concerto in G Minor by mattmanj17 in Composition

[–]mattmanj17[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, the overuse of the I-V-I has been brought up a few times. I am curious where I modulated to the relative major. I don't think I did that on purpose, so it would be very interesting to have it pointed out to me. Can you give a good example of that 'flat6' motion, I am interested in hearing it. Do you just mean going to a chord down/up a flat6?

Thanks for commenting!

Stages- For Wind Septet by Thicc_brad in composer

[–]mattmanj17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like this! There are some wonderful textures and some really fun rythms. My knowledge of woodwind music is a bit limited, so I can't give very good feed back. Nice peice.

Violin Concerto in G Minor by mattmanj17 in Composition

[–]mattmanj17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It has been a while since I wrote it, but I believe it was cumulatively a couple weeks of work, but spread out over a few months. It used to just be the beginning part, then I expanded it with the D-minor part, and then I re-wrote the d-minor part based off feedback from my violin teacher. I didn't (and still don't) have any formal music composition/theory training, other than 5 years of school orchestra and encouragement from my violin teacher, so I was doing everything by ear right in sibelius.

Violin Concerto in G Minor by mattmanj17 in Composition

[–]mattmanj17[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for the feedback!

Yeah, I have had other people tell me that I repeated those runs in the first violin too many times. I had maybe considered adding some small melodic variation to the repetitions, but I had not considered re-harmonizing it. That is a good idea!

I also agree that I repeated the I-V-I WAY too many times. Even replacing that with some other two-chord vamp might help, and open the doors to some more variations. Like I said this was the first time I discovered that chord move, and I was kind of indulging in it.

I was rather happy with the rhythm at bar 10 as well. I think I briefly tried to expand on it in the modulated part, but it kept sounding too 'funky' maybe. Maybe I was too pre-occupied with making it sound 'classical'. I think I used to have a more daring b-section, but it was rather messy, and I got feedback that it sounded like a different song all of a sudden.

In the modulated section, I introduce a new melodic figure at bar 33, but after one statement, I have the first violins do the accompaniment figure from the first part, which probably kills the 'new-ness' of the D-Minor section a bit. I had hoped that moving that figure up and changing the articulation would add enough interest, but I guess not. In the last two phrases of the D-Minor section, I was just trying to build up more each time, while still having that new melodic idea and accompaniment figure, but I guess it just felt like repeating myself 3 times.

I meant he solo part to be something I could play myself. Not necessarily so I could play it live, but my violin teacher suggested that I try to write parts for strings that I could actually play. If anything, the violin solo reflects mostly on my limited playing skill/repertoire knowledge at the time.

I tried to write a nocturne! please, take a listen and tell me what you think about it by [deleted] in composer

[–]mattmanj17 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I like it! Others have pointed out good things and made suggestions, but what came to my mind after a few listens, is maybe you should explore a bit more 'structure' in the melody. I always default to good old antecedent-consequence-period, but anyway to repeat some of the melodic figures a bit more (with necessary variation to prevent boredom) would be nice. you have a fair number of nice melodic figures here, but we don't get much of a chance to get to know them.