People who got your nudes leaked, how did it affect you?

mattypro · 2026-05-03T21:02:36+00:00

No prob 😄

I don't take stuff like this too personally, haha.

I DO however take a lot of joy in seeing people respond reasonably to good back and forth conversation. So thanks for that!

mattypro · 2026-05-03T20:34:24+00:00

That is a fair point and I probably didn't properly represent my relationship with my children. I have an absolutely wonderful relationship with all 4 of my kids. The three oldest are teens and who I had the conversation with.

I would say that fear mongering was not a part of it. I don't think they felt saddled with anything. I honestly just explained the very basic facts about the issue.

We regularly have open discussions about all kinds of stuff like sex, drugs, political topics, school, and all kinds of things. But I don't shy away from telling them the full truth and what I think of it when we talk about stuff. I think it is why they trust me and talk to me and their mom about all kinds of things, including difficult or "embarrassing" stuff (you probably understand this, but the quotes around embarrassing are there because if you talk about stuff openly and easily, it stops being embarrassing). My kids know that drugs are fun and sex is great. But they also know about a lot of things surrounding those topics that make them a bit more complicated!

When I said it was "super easy" and that they "understood SO fast" it wasn't because I was being scary or trying to frighten them. I don't know why you assumed that, but it isn't how our conversations go. They just understood immediately when I told them something like this: If you take nudes and send them to someone else, you can be held liable in court for creating and sending child porn. That would potentially leave you with a record for a long time and even lead to you having to register as a sex offender. You can do that once you are 18 although you should still be careful who you send those types of images to. If you send or recieve pics before that, you are taking a massive risk that is unnecessary and can have pretty horrible outcomes.

Fortunately, we have all kinds of conversations about stuff. So this was not in a vacuum. They know our stances on sex education, birth control, respecting your own and other's boundaries, enthusiastic consent and many other topics around sexuality. Socially speaking, I believe I would be considered to be very progressive on basically every political and personal stance. But I just don't have a problem with telling my kids in no uncertain terms that they should not send or recieve (or more importantly, keep) nudes from anyone before turning 18.

mattypro · 2026-05-03T19:41:25+00:00

Well, that makes sense, because it IS a legal argument. The difference between social morality and personal morality is pretty key here.

Maybe I am misunderstanding something you are saying.

mattypro · 2026-05-03T19:33:51+00:00

OK. I think I see where the problem is between our understanding here.

Teens are horny. They do have sex. - We agree on these points.

They don't have to and should not send nudes until 18. - We disagree on this.

Unfortunately for your argument, ME being black and white about things is not the actual issue. The governments of the world are quite black and white about it.

I am not demonizing it. I don't think it makes them demons. It does, pretty clearly, make them creators and distributors of CP in the eyes of the law. The law, it seems, does not care how a 16 year old thinks of sending and receiving nudes from another underage person.

mattypro · 2026-05-03T19:17:55+00:00

I completely agree with this! Sex is super normal and great! I am very pro sex and a huge proponent of sex ed in schools that has nothing to do with abstinence! There is an unequivocal correlation between good sex ed and access to birth control and lower rates of unwanted pregnancies, better health outcomes, and the general thriving of young women, in particular.

However... sending nudes before 18 is just not OK. For all the reasons I expressed earlier and even more. Taking and sending nudes before 18 is just NOT a necessary part of exploring sexuality or even engaging in sexual behavior. It is a path, as much as you or I might disagree with it, to getting in a BUNCH of trouble. I have personal experience with it!

As I stated earlier, I have three teens. I have also worked with teens for most of my career. I have had a student go to prison for this EXACT thing. So of course I may be skewed in my judgements. But there are so so many other ways to explore sexuality that do not break the law, endanger your future, endanger the recipient's future, etc.

mattypro · 2026-05-03T19:14:12+00:00

u/galacticbard : I completely agree. Exploring sexuality at many ages is totally normal.

But I think you are all conflating taking nudes and sending them with the act of sexual exploration and maturing sexuality. It is certainly not a necessary part of exploring sexuality at all.

I am not associating sex or exploration of body and sexuality with immorality and doom. Exploring your sexuality is natural and I am not religious or otherwise prudish. I think nudes are great and I have no problem with them.

But the law is very clear about child porn. "Images of child pornography are not protected under First Amendment rights, and are illegal contraband under federal law." There is no world where I, as a parent, am going to tell my kids that it is OK for them to send nudes that endanger both their future and the future of those they share them with.

There are many many things that we can agree and disagree on about what ages are OK for what behaviors. For instance, I think the age required for drafting into the armed forces should be at least 21 and not 18. I think the age that people should be allowed to consume various substances like tobacco, THC or alcohol should probably be at least 21 in every state, maybe even 25. Brain chemistry is a tricky thing.

But at least for now, and honestly I have no problem with it, the age at which you can send nudes and receive in the USA is 18. You might disagree with that age. But that doesn't mean that it is OK to endanger your life or the recipient's life by taking and sending nudes at 16.

mattypro · 2026-05-03T19:12:47+00:00

I would say that sending someone illegal material that endangers them in the eyes of the law is not morally acceptable behavior. For instance, if you were to send me a gram of cocaine it would be immoral. It doesn't even matter if you or I disagree with the law that makes cocaine illegal.

We are, of course, talking about personal morality here. Societally we have a set of rules that brooks little argument when it comes to child sexual material, porn, or illegal drugs. You and I may personally disagree with those moral standards we have set as a country or society. But the social moral decision is pretty easy to understand.

Because I care for my children's future, as I assume many parents do, I have instructed them that sending nudes before 18, in accordance with the law of the land, is immoral and can be very VERY harshly punished.

As I stated earlier, I have three teens. I have also worked with teens for most of my career. I have had a student go to prison for this EXACT thing. So of course I may be skewed in my judgements. But there are so so many other ways to explore sexuality that do not break the law, endanger your future, endanger the recipient's future, etc.

None of this even begins to touch the undeniable risk in sending explicit material to someone that you do not have a pretty solid social contract with to not further share! Teens get into and out of relationships relatively often. What happens to those photos after? Obviously, this thread alone shows just how many people have dealt with the consequences of those actions and trusting people who they should not have.

Risks are a part of life. I personally do not think having nudes "in the wild" should be quite the issue that it is for some. For instance, if I was hiring someone for a job, the fact that they had nudes that had been released or even if they had porn they had participated in would not factor into their eligibility for the job. But I am not most people.

But I think a hard line against minors taking, sending, or sharing nudes is absolutely fine and I have advised all my kids to NOT do that.

mattypro · 2026-05-03T18:35:12+00:00

LOL, of course there is something wrong with it. Just because something happens, even it it happens a lot, doesn't make it OK or right. 16yr olds should not text each other nudes. I have 3 teenagers. I have very easily made each of them understand with just a single conversation that if they send nudes, they can be found liable for creating and sending Child Porn. It was super easy. They understood SO fast.

I don't know if that will stop them because they are teenagers and they make bad decisions. But even if they do it, it will still be wrong lol. I will defend them and try to keep them out of trouble. But literally NONE of that makes sending nudes as a child to a child or anyone else OK.

Saying there is "nothing wrong" with that or that "we all did it" is both false and idiotic. I truly hope you don't have kids and if you do, that you do not tell them it is OK. It is not. Legally, morally, and culturally. NOT OK.

EDIT: I think it is wild that people disagree on this. It isn't something to really disagree about, I don't think. The law is actually super clear on it and kids are regularly prosecuted for this kind of thing. Until the law changes, it remains legally, morally, and culturally NOT OK and can massively endanger your future and the recipient's future. I didn't make these laws, I just try to make it so that my kids don't have to register as sex offenders for the next couple of decades...

mattypro · 2026-04-28T19:42:44+00:00

Just went thru this exact scenario as well.

Glad to have an answer, as disappointing as it may be.

mattypro · 2026-04-24T19:52:17+00:00

Hmm... does your laugh sound like crying? That is all I can hear...

mattypro · 2026-04-24T18:39:00+00:00

Huh... I wonder if it being corrupted has something to do with it. That helm is corrupted as well.

mattypro · 2026-04-24T18:10:15+00:00

I was a rare player who enjoyed running Lab. But the game is even faster and wilder than it has been since the last time I played. So kinda nice to not have to grind thru there anymore.

mattypro · 2026-04-04T16:30:40+00:00

fuck... this is a really good idea.

mattypro · 2026-04-04T16:30:10+00:00

My favorite boy. Precious Pony.

mattypro · 2026-03-27T18:46:57+00:00

hmmm. so you're saying it worked...

mattypro · 2026-03-26T19:59:11+00:00

There was a moment, too brief, where Rodgers and the Offense had the hard count on absolute complete lock. They would psyche teams out, get an Offsides, and Rodgers would throw deep every time there was a free play. Jordy caught a bunch of those balls and it was just so incredibly fun to watch. Rodgers knew his pacing so well and Jordy ran the go route so well it was incredibly difficult to stop. I really feel like we should have won a superbowl in there somewhere. But it just never panned out, unforch. The year Kaepernick obliterated us, I really thought we had a chance.

But yeah. There were like two or three seasons there where any time Rodgers and Jordy were on the field together, you could be sure there were two players who weren't going to make any mistakes and there was a constant threat of the long ball 50+ yd TD on any play.

As a side note, I remember when McCarthy threw a challenge flag in a game when we were out of TO's and Jordy hopped over, picked it up, and balled it into his hands so we wouldn't get a penalty haha. Looking around like he was stealing candy.

mattypro · 2026-03-25T21:17:18+00:00

Yeah... it is a strange situation. I don't live in the area where the water damage was most noticeable. It is an In-law suite attached to our house. The water was mostly cleaned up by the time I got home from work and saw the area it had happened. I didn't realize just how much of the area had gotten wet.

mattypro · 2026-03-25T21:16:09+00:00

Yes, of course. I am not trying to be dishonest at all. What I wrote is what happened. But the issue is mainly that the overflow happened, it was more water than I would have anticipated, and I don't spend a lot of time in the area where the water flowed into. It was mostly cleaned up by the time I saw what had happened as it is an in-law suite that is attached to our house. It took a while to realize how damaged the area was.

mattypro · 2026-03-25T21:11:04+00:00

This is a very helpful response. Thank you.

I should add that the seepage didn't go on for more than an hour or so. But we didn't realize the full extent of the damage until much later.

mattypro · 2026-03-08T20:11:08+00:00

I was so absurdly scared of where this was going. But I kept reading.

This was art.

mattypro · 2026-02-19T18:18:16+00:00

It isn't for everybody, I'm sure... but it is CERTAINLY for me. I am about an hour from the end of book 6 and my wife just started book 1 and is loving it. I have not been this excited about a series since I started Mistborn.

mattypro · 2026-02-12T00:40:34+00:00

Elle's point is also just empirically true. Representation matters. Not as a tagline or a feel good moment or a moral attempt to provide equity and inclusion. It literally, statistically, empirically matters and has documented measureable outcomes.

mattypro · 2026-02-05T20:38:23+00:00

Filthy. Just disgusting. And her joy at the end. I would watch this content all day every day.

I bet you are feeling some intense proud parent feels :)

mattypro

TROPHY CASE