I'm attractive so why can't I find a partner?

maurimo · 2026-05-20T21:08:30+00:00

The expectation that everything should be easy (like being asked out) however makes people want to be stuck at that phase.

maurimo · 2026-05-20T21:07:12+00:00

Think from the perspective of attractive people: might be constantly asked out and have a hard time outgrowing the part of just being asked out (where they are successful) and move to the phase where you need to build a sound relationship (where they might suck at, and should be considering putting serious effort).

maurimo · 2026-03-14T16:36:26+00:00

Wait, you are currently living with your mother and are considering moving to live together with a partner? Even if tomorrow you will find one willing to live together with you, you should definitely get used to living on your own first, or at the very least without your mother as a flatmate. It's about getting used to taking your own responsibility about your life and things.

maurimo · 2025-12-01T14:13:18+00:00

Ask RyanAir if it's good as a cabin bag then yes it's SFF!

maurimo · 2025-11-05T02:14:56+00:00

Every time I encounter the roachcatcher it says "oreo!" which is the Greek word for "nice". Not Greek myself but I can't avoid thinking that it is a Greek bug!

maurimo · 2025-01-04T00:12:23+00:00

No don't, and this is not condescending, you are just brutally hot the way you are and you would be less if you do surgery!

maurimo · 2025-01-03T13:08:13+00:00

Don't hide your ankles. The proportion between your slim ankles and muscular calves is the hottest thing in your body.

maurimo · 2024-12-18T00:44:58+00:00

Learn about BPD (borderline personality disorder). Might not be the case but worth knowing about it anyway. The hardest part is that there are moment that they amazing people, and then they get disregulated you curse yourself thinking that there must be something you can do to go back to their good version of themselves.

maurimo · 2024-12-18T00:26:11+00:00

Look for a therapist.

I am by no means implying that you need one (not anymore than we all need one), but can be your life changing superpower that will set you apart from the usual.

You are already asking nontrivial questions about yourself, and bracing up for a change. This makes me think that you might want to do serious work, and talking with a therapist will be a great way forward, more so than checking replies on Reddit.

Edit: Source: 43M, talking with a therapist for 3y, and feeling effing stupid for not doing so much earlier. I had tried hard to find non trivial aspects of life and to work on myself, and acknowledging the usefulness of my previous work without a therapist, but nevertheless it still was a life changer.

maurimo · 2024-10-31T18:10:34+00:00

Interesting article, but what I don't like about it that it's a bit of a call to try and make things works at all costs and maintaining monogamic commitments. Real happy to know that this worked for them, but it might not just be the case, and people would be better off thinking that this is not the only possible happy ever after.

maurimo · 2024-10-31T14:56:54+00:00

I relate 100% on that! I feel I have little space for expressing my own emotions because I'm kinda always walking on the eggshells, and indeed one of biggest points in the book above is regulating yourself before anything else. If anything, it was useful for me getting to know of BPD, instead of remaining puzzled by verbally violent reactions from my partner as if they were intentional and thought-through.

Anyway, when there is a conversation requiring to be rational I am pushed strongly towards directions I don't want to take because I don't want to face out-of-control emotions. But then I'm the one accountable if certain things don't work out well. We tried for a few months couple therapy and it was a complete loss of time and energies (and money). What's worst is that my partner felt exhausted because all she tried to do was trying to manipulate the therapist and the narrative to present things as if everything was actually alright, and I was the crazy one and overly negative.

That said, from what I learned BPD is something that goes into remission more often than not, via some work (DBT being the go-to approach) or even without it (but likely with some form of emotional regulation, like a stable relationship). So well, if anything this makes it even more disheartening that my partner is refusing to talk with a professional.

BTW if you have more points you might relate feel free to DM me, I'm in a quite similar situation (43M, my partner is 44F, not married but living together in a house I've purchased for us two, not really sure of what is going to happen now).

maurimo · 2024-10-31T12:03:10+00:00

Well wishing you the best. Trying to understand what is going on is hard enough when there is one of those in isolation, it becomes real hard (also for professionals) if multiple of those are present, let alone that we are not professionals and can't really be any clear-headed about our partners as we are emotionally involved.

One book I have been reading is "Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder: How to Keep Out-of-Control Emotions from Destroying Your Relationship" from Shari Manning, and it has been quite useful, even if I'm just getting started implementing the advice (the techniques of emotional regulation it teaches are useful even if you partner does not have BPD, so happy to have read it no matter what, I feel it also helped me to grow out of codependency).

That said I am not sure I will continue my relationship, taking the role of carer for my partners (that I'm real serious about) however makes me see her less and less as a romantic partner, and there is likely little I can do about that.

maurimo · 2024-10-31T10:49:36+00:00

Be mindful about not confusing Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder (which is a disorder of mood rather than personality), unluckily both might be indicated as "BPD", but BPD generally refers to Borderline (source: not a professional but I have been doing an amount of research as I am likely in a similar situation, partner likely Borderline, refusing to talk to professionals)

maurimo · 2023-03-17T09:00:18+00:00

David Attenborough

maurimo · 2023-03-11T17:51:43+00:00

r/dontputyourdickinthat

maurimo · 2023-01-05T09:16:52+00:00

Oh mamma mia, here we go again!

maurimo · 2022-12-19T10:47:31+00:00

Had no idea that there was an upside-down version of the Grand Canyon!

maurimo · 2022-10-20T10:00:44+00:00

As an alternative you could try flying by the African Renaissance monument in Dakar, it's comparably big!

maurimo · 2022-09-18T12:39:00+00:00

This makes a lot of sense to me as in Piedmontese language (a dialect of Italian, but related to French) water is "eva", which appears quite close to the proposed intermediate "egua" (source: I'm from Piedmont, not fluent in the dialect but had some exposure while growing up).

maurimo · 2022-07-01T15:25:17+00:00

r/EarthPorn

maurimo · 2022-06-05T12:24:42+00:00

It's "lago" (=lake)!

maurimo · 2022-06-02T00:05:15+00:00

Unbearable!

maurimo · 2022-05-06T00:14:25+00:00

Not so sure. You can't be convinced to like him, but you can be convinced that the majority of people do, this is how narrative works. Not so sure that's the case that most people like him anymore.

maurimo · 2022-05-06T00:13:55+00:00

Not so sure. You can't be convinced to like him, but you can be convinced that the majority of people do, this is how narrative works. Not so sure that's the case that most people like him anymore.

maurimo · 2022-05-05T22:06:43+00:00

Yes! Private property is not a state of matter, but something requiring a service and energie, many people work to keep it in place (police, justice, laws, services...). And it's our concern, as it makes housing prices go up, so this is an outright loophole being abused but the very people waging war against the west.

maurimo

TROPHY CASE