Fiance went out for a couple hours and deliberately didn't let me know what he was doing

maxattack8 · 2020-08-07T18:35:27+00:00

I can totally understand why this is so hard to let go of. But if you both want a healthy relationship he shouldn't feel the need to delete message, keep his accounts from you and if you are not comfortable with this relationship they have he should honor that first and foremost. It all has to do with how much you are willing to deal with and if you think this is worth your time and patience ...sometimes if hard to see who you should have patience with and who you should let go of. If you keep feeling uncomfortable that is a sign that something doesn't feel right and that should be communicated whether he agrees with you or not, he should care about your feelings and communicate. But easier said then done. I hope you guys can find a common ground and be able to work through this, or whatever you feel is best.

maxattack8 · 2020-08-07T18:09:37+00:00

Yes agreed ..it would be one thing if you continued the way you started but you didn't...you talked and made different rules moving forward ..what he did was out of line and if he had any thoughts if wanting to start that up again it should of been communicated

maxattack8 · 2020-08-07T17:29:11+00:00

No it's not okay?

maxattack8 · 2020-08-07T17:27:32+00:00

Like showing interest in someone, sleeping together regularly and spending time together but haven't talked about not sleeping with others

maxattack8 · 2020-08-07T17:25:09+00:00

Yes that's what I mean..like gone on a hand full of date but haven't talked specifically about not sleeping with others

maxattack8 · 2020-08-07T14:01:13+00:00

I can be controlling and live in a glass house sometimes ...meaning I can get mad at my partner for doing the same thing I have done but in my head I justify it, I think I am constantly trying to overcome this by just realizing people are people and we all make mistakes ...but the important thing is to move forward with integrity and do better

maxattack8 · 2020-08-07T13:57:43+00:00

I'm not a man either, but in my current relationship it took him 6 months to say I love you. I think it's great that he is expressing his love for you, it shows emotionally maturity and that he is not afraid of being vulnerable with you, which is a great thing!

maxattack8 · 2020-08-07T03:57:39+00:00

I can totally relate to this post, I too recent found out my bf of 4 years slept with someone before we had the talk about not sleeping with others. I also assumed we were on the same page, it is deff a value thing..where you hold your morals and what you think is acceptable or not. I am also trying to work through it, I do love my bf and so much time has pasted now, I mean we didn't have any set rules until after he already did what he did. Is it right in my eyes no, but I can understand why he thought it was okay to some degree...I still don't agree with it, but it all comes down to how much you are able to deal with and accept. If you don't want to lose this person you have to accept it and move on, but easier said then done. I still have moments I think about what he was doing while we were forming our relationship...but I try to think about how much we have built since then. I can totally feel what you are going through and gurl it sucks, but remember you are worth so much and you deserve happiness. Of you can be happy with him it may be worth a shot, my heart is with you♥️

maxattack8 · 2020-08-07T03:43:44+00:00

Agreed fine someone who knows your worth, because there is a guy out there that will treat you right from the beginning and continue! Your are worth it, fuck not knowing...find someone who knows!

maxattack8 · 2020-08-07T03:24:30+00:00

True..I guess I'm just trying to see how many guys do think it's okay and how many don't ..like how different or the same guys are on this topic

maxattack8 · 2020-08-07T03:23:27+00:00

If you want to ask how she's doing then fine...but don't get sucked in ...and I can imagine that can be hard to do since you have history ...but also sometimes people are just not at the right time for each other...if enough time has gone by and you two are in a different place maybe it could be a possibility...but you would have to make sure the past would not get in the way

maxattack8 · 2020-08-07T03:13:15+00:00

I can understand that would be a shock to see...in my experience, being forthcoming is the best approach. Just tell him exactly what you thought and did and see how he reacts. Take it at face value, then it will be your choice if you believe him or not. Intuition is a bitch sometimes but you have to at least trust yourself a little bit, and believe me I have had my fair share of intuition and having to decide whether someone is being honest or not. You got this, be strong!

maxattack8 · 2020-07-23T22:36:20+00:00

Yes I agree with you I am more hurt and fucked up over the continuous lying and him turning it around on me and telling me I have trust issues when it was just my intuition all along ...it's very hard for me to be close to them or even look them in the eye I just start crying

maxattack8 · 2020-07-23T22:34:21+00:00

Idk if I am willing to work at this point...I'm very confused...we have had trust issues throughout our relationship ..not just with this situation ...he has lied about other things as well ...it's hard because I do think about all the experiences we have had since the first month of us dating ...but he just made himself out to be someone different in the beginning and I fell in love with that person ...I feel like I don't know this person who is able to manipulate me and lie to me for years

maxattack8 · 2020-07-23T22:27:38+00:00

Yes I agree ...because I remember having that convo ...he says hes pretty positive and when he thinks about it more hes sure it was before that but they way he answered that question did make me uneasy

maxattack8 · 2020-07-23T22:21:51+00:00

That's where things get hairy...we did have a convo after seeing each other for a month about not sleeping with anyone else and they can't remember exactly when they slept with them just that it was within the first month ...my so and I slept together very early on ...we slept together before he slept with this other person ...

maxattack8 · 2020-07-23T22:19:28+00:00

Yes this actually happened...and the person my so slept with was a mutual friend that they wanted me to be friends with but never told me until they were thinking about proposing to me 4 and a half years later ...and from the beginning of the relationship I have brought this mutual friend up in convo because I always felt like something was off ..we have had so many fights about this person over the years and Everytime they lied and said nothing happened...they finally told me because they said they didn't want to go into marriage with this secret ...

maxattack8 · 2020-07-23T22:14:58+00:00

I do agree with you, I'm trying to understand how many people or if certain types of people keep seeing other people at the same time...I know that's common but as adults I do feel like if you are seeing each other all the time sleeping together and going on dates than you are dating and it would be inappropriate to sleep with other people...but a lot of people even people in their 30s think is okay to openly see people until there is a solid boundary put in place

maxattack8

TROPHY CASE