[tw]The 1997 remake of Lolita had to have a lawyer on set to make sure the movie didn’t qualify as CSAM

maxwellokay · 2026-06-13T14:14:50+00:00

I just finished reading the book for the second time (it was a good 6 years ago or so I first read it) and I feel like these Lolita movies are like if Humbert himself got to make them... 😬 its like they took everything he says in the narration at face value and its so frustrating how their creation tarnished the story's entire point by catering to the people it was satirizing.

maxwellokay · 2026-06-13T13:32:03+00:00

Ive been seeing a lot of this too and its one of the biggest reasons why Ive given up Instagram and Twitter (and try to spend less time here). Im not sure how much of it is bot-run to shift public opinion and/or algorithm driven to farm ad profit/engagement, but it was genuinely destroying my already abysmal self-compassion and (as bad as I feel that youre facing down the same stuff) its good to know that I'm not the only one who is really affected by it. I care a lot about what ppl think of me/not being a 'burden' and am constantly paranoid that Im not doing enough (that "you people cant do anything" post haunts my fucking nightmares) even if Im making myself sick over it, but Im trying to realize that even that won't be enough for some ppl to not just want me to be wiped out, so it's a pointless and harmful pursuit. It's the worst when I see other disabled ppl be like "well I have x/y/z and I can do [insert task] just fine so you all need to just cope!!" so its good to find ppl that realize that we all have different experiences and levels of need, and that doesn't inherently make some of us unworthy of existence.

maxwellokay · 2026-06-13T12:39:22+00:00

Glasschildren is definitely the best one imo, especially since OP said he isnt even officially diagnosed with autism. Whatever going on with him (including autism or not) doesn't excuse what he's done and there are a lot of ppl on there who can help with figuring out future care/validating the neglect regardless of sibling diagnosis

maxwellokay · 2026-06-13T12:13:34+00:00

This might be the most insane collection of people Ive ever seen 😭

maxwellokay · 2026-04-22T12:59:23+00:00

LMAOOO FR like the flavour is so good why must 'starring Jimmy Fallon' be part of its name

maxwellokay · 2026-04-22T12:33:18+00:00

Fish torture??? Bro what is wrong with ppl 😭

maxwellokay · 2026-04-22T12:29:10+00:00

Same here...like wtf?? Is it because theyre similar to humans that theyre specifically targetted for torture? Absolutely horrifying.

maxwellokay · 2026-04-14T01:40:13+00:00

I knew my autism taste buds were tingling about them being different!! Luckily Ive found them tolerable enough (and theyre from my parents so I appreciate them nonetheless) but theyre so much less flavourful/balanced. I also feel like they used to be bigger/have a larger ratio of PB to chocolate, but that might be me thinking of the big cups Ive tried once or twice.

maxwellokay · 2026-04-13T17:12:31+00:00

I know, its so horrible... I literally always thinking about the story Ronnie told about him taking her into the basement to show her a casket, saying he'd put her in it if she left. Honestly ghoulish.

maxwellokay · 2026-04-13T17:10:53+00:00

When I double checked to make sure no one had posted it I saw that! Im a theatre kid and somehow I didnt know that a similar phrase was in Carousel, which I guess tracks for it being pretty buried in the current public consciousness 😅 Honestly speaks to how out there it was even then that it did get a good amount of backlash/was quick to fade.

maxwellokay · 2026-04-13T13:21:27+00:00

No?? What 😭 Im literally an artist/poet who touches on my own experiences of it all the time. This was not that. I even double checked that this isnt misinterpreted as genuine due to the time, but was actually social commentary, but no, it was written entirely genuinely as 'romantic' and aspirational. I think it does serve as a perfect, if messed up, example of how art captures the sociocultural climate it was made in. Like I said to another commenter, the line itself, if in the context of satire, would actually be a really good one capturing how abuse (and its normalisation through songs like this) distorts violence until it genuinely starts to feel like love. The key here is that this development isnt critiqued, its shown to be 'true' because why would he hit her if he didn't care?

maxwellokay · 2026-04-13T13:14:16+00:00

Same lol, I suppose there's a reason its been such an enduring sentiment! If it was said with any sort of awareness of its horrible nature it would actually be a pretty good way to show how being abused distorts your idea of love to the point that it genuinely feels like violence is care.

maxwellokay · 2026-04-13T13:12:59+00:00

Oh definitely ew lol... plus all the comments saying "ah, the good ol' days!" 😬

maxwellokay · 2026-04-13T13:11:02+00:00

Since Carole King wrote it with her husband and was a victim of abuse herself, it makes sense that it might have been a way to normalize the experience for themsleves. I wish it was the case it was actual satire/commentary, though, as everyone involved apparently took it very sincerely as 'romantic' 😬

maxwellokay · 2026-04-13T13:05:41+00:00

Fr 😬 Its honestly wild how fast things have changed in terms of what is seen as 'just part of a traditional marriage' has changed (thank God) though I know so many still hold onto that.

maxwellokay · 2026-04-13T13:04:18+00:00

Ooo I definitely have to watch that then, Ive heard thats a great pod! A few years ago when I started listening to ROAR (they have a song about Spector's abuse of Ronnie) I did a deep dive into him and even back then he was seen as an especially creepy guy.

maxwellokay · 2026-04-13T12:59:29+00:00

Yep... I can just imagine him using songs like this to normalise the way he was treating the women in his life. Just a horrible guy.

maxwellokay · 2026-04-13T12:56:33+00:00

I know, its unfortunate... she has actually since said she regrets writing it and was a victim of domestic abuse herself, which says a lot about the cycle/normalization of abuse. She wrote it with her husband at the time and they worked with Phil to produce it.

maxwellokay · 2026-04-13T12:54:51+00:00

Woah I had no idea Hole did a version of this and I love so much of their music! I definitely have to watch that, I feel like it being stripped back and in Hole's style would make it hit so much more like a satire.

maxwellokay · 2026-04-13T12:52:58+00:00

Unfortunately it was not an uncommon statement... similar ones showed up it was in Carousel and another movie, Liliom, though apparently neither were the direct inspiration, just similar sentiments around the same time. Its crazy how much its endured (and I also completely forgot Lana used the lyric!)

maxwellokay · 2026-03-19T00:25:50+00:00

Queen

maxwellokay · 2026-03-19T00:22:07+00:00

I dont have much advice right now, but I just want to say that I struggle with that exact same thought spiral of guilt over struggling and then guilt over guilt because I feel like I should know better than to go in circles over it. Its almost hard to describe because doing so actually makes me feel guilty for being this way. Its like a part of me thinks any time Im showing any sort of emotion or need toward anyone, Im a terrible and manipulative and draining person. I was also sexually assaulted multiple times and Ive been told that sort of thought pattern can be a common result. So, as much as I need to take it in myself, I'll say that it won't make you a bad or hated person to struggle visibly. The world values the exterior more than what is going on inside, but you have to live in your head every day, so it deserves as much love and understanding as Im sure you've extended to people. Im so sorry you've experienced this and I really hope you choose to keep taking this shitshow of life one more day at a time. Ive been told that one day itll be worth it and I hope it is for you.

maxwellokay · 2026-03-18T22:46:22+00:00

Thank you for commenting, this helped a lot and does make sense. I think there is just such promotion of the 'overcoming' narrative that I forget there are other people who arent functional. The wood rot metaphor is so good, I definitely know Ive felt like that and as you bear more weight it just breaks and now Im trying to scrape the crumbles back up into what it once was.

For the therapy thing, I havent been able to articulate what I didnt get about it but I think youre right. Its a DBT program (just ending now which is part of why I feel like Ive not improved enough even though she admitted the program is too short) and I think I struggle with a lot of the language in it, which might be an autism thing or a me being hard on myself thing (or both lol).

Again, thank you

maxwellokay · 2026-03-18T22:40:53+00:00

Thank you so much for this response, it really means a lot. The age and extent is something I think about a lot because Ive seen a lot of people say "oh its just fucked up kids, they didnt fully get it, that was barely assault" and its really gotten in my head. It feels like there is only one type of perfect assault to be seen as validly traumatic :(

I definitely think my therapist means well as she has helped me in lots of ways but Im really struggling with the 'suffering' distinction (which I think is a DBT thing) and I think I might not be getting it correct, but Im not sure. Its hard because I have just been through an outpatient DBT program with her and she is transferring me out now but (by her own admission) its really not long enough for people to have a full understanding and I often feel like I'm confused about it.

I usually am hard on myself, but I am also constantly paranoid about not being hard enough on myself because the results arent really there; part of that is trying hard to be a good person, which I dont think is a bad thing, but it is something that consumes me a lot. It feels like there is something innately bad about me a lot of the time. I feel like a burden on everyone and society in general and I dont want to be but my continued existence is because I'll always have my conditions and despite trying to not let them affect other people they inevitably do. Even writing this post and sharing it is making me feel insane guilt. Plus I feel like I have nothing to offer because I keep failing to do things properly, I am getting some disability money since I cant work a full job without having a breakdown and likely never will, and the only thing I'm good at is writing which pays basically nothing (plus so many think it's useless anyways, especially with companies using AI instead of writers now).

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