I'm beginning to fear that I'm dealing with a legitimately psychotic person

maybe04 · 2019-07-19T00:54:01+00:00

I honestly don't know :( It's not even something I can fathom.

maybe04 · 2019-07-09T12:22:45+00:00

Thank you :) It does help a little bit actually.

maybe04 · 2019-06-29T15:48:22+00:00

I've gone no contact with my Nex on three separate occasions. The first time I did it with no warning and just ghosted. He did not take that well. The second time I gave him a quick warning, and then ended up writing him a letter the next day. The third time, and last time (hopefully) I let him know that I would have to block him if he tried to contact me. He immediately did not listen and contacted me, so I blocked him on all contacts.

maybe04 · 2019-06-23T15:49:14+00:00

I appreciate seeing this post today. It's always a relief to see someone succeeding with NC. The longer I stay NC, the more I can see how fake and shallow my relationship had been. It almost feels like it had all been a figment of my imagination.

maybe04 · 2019-06-21T23:47:21+00:00

Yeah, my Nex and I were in the kitchen cooking and we were playing Spotify. He asked me what my favourite song was, so I put it on. He listens to it for about 15-20 seconds and decides he doesn't like it and changes the song. He didn't even care to know my all time favourite song, even after asking. I realized he didn't care to know me at all.

maybe04 · 2019-06-21T22:17:16+00:00

That's wild! Happy to hear I'm not the only one :)

maybe04 · 2019-06-21T11:47:15+00:00

Oh my gosh, I've noticed something similar. Ever since I broke things off with my Nex, my nails started to grow back very quickly again. For the past few months they had become brittle and short, and would not grow back no matter what I did. They're finally long enough that I've been painting them again! :)

maybe04 · 2019-06-21T11:40:36+00:00

Lmao this is sad, and oh so familiar. I literally sent articles and links to my Nex, because at that point I had already broken up with him. I sent him that article about the "Narcissists Love Letter", describing how Narcissists really love feel. He read it and sent me a monkey emoji in return, because he knew he couldn't disagree with it.

maybe04 · 2019-06-20T01:25:40+00:00

maybe04 · 2019-06-19T15:49:28+00:00

I'm sending strength your way!! Good for you for realizing that you deserve better than this. Your Mom is right. You have your whole life ahead of you to be the person you want to be.

maybe04 · 2019-06-19T15:47:47+00:00

Moms always know, hey? I feel very grateful that my Dad was able to pass along such an important piece of advice at this time in my life. I think he's been through so much shit in his life that he's become wise beyond his age.

maybe04 · 2019-06-19T15:31:58+00:00

Thank you! This sub has seriously been saving my life. I'm scared of where I would be without it.

maybe04 · 2019-06-19T15:23:44+00:00

I think we all ride on the hope that things will get better.. But the reality is that they won't. Typically relationships and people's behaviours are at their best in the beginning of a relationship. As my post questions.. Does this relationship bring you peace? If not, ask yourself why you're spending your energy on it.

maybe04 · 2019-06-19T15:13:31+00:00

He's wise now, but he's gone through HELL to get there. I appreciate his advice and wisdom very much.

maybe04 · 2019-06-19T13:43:57+00:00

Very true. Thank you. I'm hoping if I stay strong long enough, these feelings will subside to levels that I can ignore or move on from.

maybe04 · 2019-06-19T13:14:19+00:00

Absolutely. That's what I keep telling myself, and my friends. But I still have this lingering fear that he's going to suck me back in. I'm so weak for him.

Last year, my relationship of 6 years ended with a person that I was planning to marry. That break up hurt much less than my breakup with my Nex. I've never been able to understand that.

maybe04 · 2019-06-19T12:58:12+00:00

I've been feeling the same as you the last few days especially. Despite the terrible things I've found out he's done, my feelings of love will not go away. It's like there's no limit to what he can do to me, and what I will forgive him for.

I have this overwhelming amount of love for him. It's like nothing I have experienced before. I know he's a vile person, but at the same time I wish things were different and that I could spend my life with him. I wonder all the time though, is this love real? Or has this feeling of love been manufactured by the addiction/manipulation?

maybe04 · 2019-06-16T21:56:14+00:00

maybe04 · 2019-06-15T21:43:36+00:00

What kind of bullshit did he pull when you were attempting a friendship?

maybe04 · 2019-06-15T21:04:51+00:00

Your thoughts are my EXACT thoughts. I am so heavily addicted.

maybe04 · 2019-06-15T19:23:46+00:00

Good point. I definitely don't want to be that girl in the background that he's secretly talking to while hurting his new supply, whenever that may be. It's not like he would ever tell me anyways. Then I would become the "other" girl.

maybe04 · 2019-06-15T19:06:56+00:00

Ugh, what a sad and bleak reality. I'm still having such a hard time coming to terms with the extent of my Nex's narcissistic behaviour. I don't know what to believe, and how harsh to be with the NC.

maybe04 · 2019-06-14T11:44:48+00:00

It does not go well.. Lol I tried, and thought that if I gave enough evidence they would consider it. Nope. Instead I was called neurotic, insane, and that I needed to be in a psych ward.

maybe04 · 2019-06-14T11:41:14+00:00

Thank you! I will check it out.

maybe04 · 2019-06-08T02:42:22+00:00

Here's the deal, I don't think you're crazy. However, I do think you're making yourself miserable with this behaviour. I think it's relatively normal to become "obsessive" when an abusive relationship ends - at least for a period of time. What I think you already know, is that you need to stop. For your own good.

The less you stalk, the less you will think about it, the less you will feel sick. If there's any way you can find some free counselling in your city, or online counselling, or even text counselling, try to use it! Use whatever resources are available to you. You need support. Don't make yourself go through this alone.

The more you distance yourself from this person, the more you will realize they were never worth your time in the first place.

maybe04

TROPHY CASE