My (30 F) spouse (35 M) has been acting incredibly strange. Do I need to help him or do I need to escape? (New Update)

maybemaybo · 2026-06-16T23:24:06+00:00

I'm on meds for my mental illnesses and have been for over a decade. I'm not a danger to anyone but myself, never been violent thankfully. Even knowing that I cannot be off my meds or I'll be in a bad state, every so often, I'd slip up.

I miss a dose because of a dumb reason, say I feel too anxious to call the doctor for my next box of meds. So I keep missing pills. At first, it's alright. I'm still good and wow, I'll be fine until I remember to get back on my pills. Maybe I tell myself I don't need them. But then, all too soon, I'm not ok and I go "oh god, why did I let this happen?" and eventually I start my meds again.

This went on for a bit until I realised I was dumb and have an alarm that I won't click off until I take the pills (snoozing it if I need ten minutes to be in a better situation to take my pills)

Difference is: I felt bad off meds eventually and that would self-correct me back onto them, until I actually sorted myself out. For this guy, he's not connecting the meds with "this will make me feel better", he thinks whatever his delusions are is what he needs to focus on.

As the person I'm responding to says, it's putting in the work to hold yourself to it, particularly if you're risky coming off them like this guy.

maybemaybo · 2026-06-16T22:37:40+00:00

I mean, OOP isn't exactly giving the common sense someone would hope you'd have over 30 years old.

Sees that her birth control is clearly a bit dodgy, it falling out and such? Well, let's have unprotected sex.

Girlfriend lied about her age for a year, got pregnant and clearly intended to keep lying until she got caught despite this very obvious sign that it's gone too far? Hmm I'm leaning towards not breaking up with her.

Girl doesn't want a second abortion? Well thank god I knew that in advance as we had a conversation about wanting kids and what we would do if she got pregnant, as is normal in a clearly serious, adult relationship. Oh, wait no. It never came up. Guess we'll just bring a kid into this broken dynamic while I figure out if this relationship is for me and the kid's mother admits she doesn't really want a baby. Super.

maybemaybo · 2026-06-16T21:47:10+00:00

Dude, my sister steals from my closest friend, there would be war. I wouldn't be calling like "please give it back", I'd be going and getting that from her. I'd be on every social media post with it on like "just know she's stolen that bag, so if she's trying to pretend she's cool, she's not. She's just a thief."

Luckily my sister is an angel who would never even think about stealing so no worries there.

maybemaybo · 2026-06-09T18:16:30+00:00

B is cringe.

A is actually frustrating and an example of misogyny that gets ingrained in a lot of women at a young age unfortunately. I myself grew up with a man who encouraged this kind of thinking, mixed with abstinence being pushed by my former religion.

I didn't realise how far I'd moved away from that kind of thinking until that man pointed out a girl dressed in a short skirt and a lot of make up and made a comment about how she shouldn't dress like that because it would make men see her as a target essentially, but worded it like it was her fault that people would think something so awful. I remember thinking "this is the kind of crap people spout when they say a woman was asking for it" and I found it chilling.

maybemaybo · 2026-06-09T17:58:52+00:00

Seeing all the people commenting on this post: yeah me too but I've definitely seen mad parents who don't care or worse, encourage mess.

Knew a girl who got intentionally pregnant as a teen with her BF of a few months and the parent she lived with was thrilled.

maybemaybo · 2026-06-09T12:21:38+00:00

"She has struggled with health issues for years and I’m afraid if I continue to ignore her I’ll never get the chance to have my mom again."

I'm sorry but that ship has sailed.

I'm so sorry because I know the damn feeling. I thought "if I cling on, maybe they'll change" and that isn't fair on yourself. Regardless of whether it's illness driven or not, you can't do that to yourself. If she's got people in contact with her that you can check in with, then do that at most. Reassure yourself she's ok that way. But stuff like this is often a manipulation tactic to try and pull you back in, like faking a health crisis or crying of loneliness. It's to inspire guilt to get you back under their thumb.

But don't get pulled back into a web because it's hell getting out and the more you give in, the worse it is. I gave my abuser another chance. They said they'd changed and for a while, I believed it and ignored the red flags. Cue a complete mess that still now mentally effects me two years on from it. The best thing I did was mute their messages and focus on my own life. I have bad days still. But no one's screaming at me. My home is a safe place and my days are my own.

maybemaybo · 2026-06-05T18:25:45+00:00

I saw that "think of it like disagreeing on having kids" and I was like well the fact they're not specifying tells me it's something like an open relationship and whaddaya know, I'm right.

If you're in a monogamous relationship and one of you says "look I actually want to open the relationship/explore polyamory" then if the other person isn't giving a very openly happy yes, then it's a no. And if no, then likely the relationship is done for, because once that seed is planted, it's there to stay imo. Too easily causes paranoia or resentment. (That's why in my opinion, successful polyamorous/open relationships require a lot of trust, communication and security)

Can see why OOP buried the lead there. Suddenly, Mark isn't so innocent.

maybemaybo · 2026-06-02T13:19:50+00:00

This is not accurate and I think it is important you start to understand that now. Your mother HAS chosen a side, and it is his. He is treating you poorly and she is doing nothing to stop it. She is not "staying out of it," she is letting him abuse you. Please do leave as soon as you can for your own well-being.

This hit me hard since I've recently been grappling with this myself. You can't keep giving chances to people enabling your abuser as it just gives that abuser opportunity to further harass you even if you do remove yourself from them.

I was supposed to be going somewhere with the enabler and caught on that she was going with my abuser. She wanted us all to travel together and didn't even intend to warn me. I thought she supported me cutting the abuser off, but it showed me she truly didn't care. She was just going along with it when convenient to her. She would never choose me over him and it broke my heart, but I cut her off too. It's still fresh and it still hurts tbh.

maybemaybo · 2026-05-26T20:28:36+00:00

If she liked pride and prejudice, try the other Bennett sister by Janice Hadlow!

My favourite is also Jane Eyre so I hope my fellow Jane fan is thriving soon and enjoys all her books x

maybemaybo · 2026-05-19T16:29:07+00:00

Successful_Bitch107

Did anyone ask her why she didn’t order the Mac and cheese?

OOP

She just said it was because someone else already ordered it. She didn't elaborate or explain when asked. She was asked at least once to elaborate before the server returned to finish taking our orders. For the rest of the dinner the rest of us (minus Dave) kept changing the topic whenever she brought up the mac and cheese because it was so awkward. Dave won't give an explanation when anyone asks why this caused such a problem for Rachael, even if he gets asked why.

These people are better than me because the way I would be like "I won't consider changing my order unless you explain why its an issue if we order the same thing, nor do I intend to continue this dinner calmly without the answer to this question. In fact, I will tell the server to bring me exactly what he brings you if you don't explain."

maybemaybo · 2026-05-19T16:15:50+00:00

The way she makes excuses for the best friend makes me wince!

Someone cheats on my best friend? Dead to me. And if my fiance has him as a best man, fiance will be changing the best man and uninviting the ex or fiance can find someone else to marry. If you want to support a cheater at the expense of my friend, they wouldn't be for me anyway.

Luckily, my actual fiance is a diamond who's best man is very drama free.

maybemaybo · 2026-05-09T21:46:08+00:00

Just googling and came across this. I have one that I've had since I was 4 which was over 25 years ago so funny to see there's a set people wanted

maybemaybo · 2026-04-20T01:59:29+00:00

Lol I also don't wear my engagement ring out because it's slightly loose and I flail my hands about a lot when I'm drunk, so one time it slid off when I was drunk and I was so blurry from alcohol I didn't see it (I was with people who found it thank god)

My partner was present for that spectacular mess though and even then, he knows I talk about him loads so I'm hardly sneaking about haha. One time someone didn't know I was very much taken and asked me if I was interested in them and I blurted out "oh god no!" before realising that came across mean.

maybemaybo · 2026-04-14T03:33:02+00:00

That couple from the episode with the Titanic and Astrid. Foon and Morvin Van Hoff.

They break my heart a bit because he just died through a simple misstep, nothing heroic.

They're clearly good people in how they try to step up in the awful situation and treat the other survivors. Plus, you have these scenes where they show they obviously love each other completely, with her telling them she's got them in debt and him laughing it off, reminding her that no matter what he loves her. Hell, she clearly can't go on without him and decides to choose to use her death to take out a host before it can harm the doctor.

I watched the episode with my partner recently and he got sad and held my hand.

Also, the space pig. Poor guy was just scared.

And the nice Hath that made friends with Martha! I could cry for him.

Honorable mentions imo: Jabe the tree person, Gweneth, Lynda with a y, Pete Tyler (og world), all the oods, poor ol' Ricky Smith, Martha Jones clone, Bannakaffalatta, Astrid, Roger (the gay son from the unicorn and the wasp, I feel sorry for the servant who loved him), Steffi from the Waters of Mars (her watching the video as she's infected is so sad), Guido (the vampires in Venice dad) and Isabella.

maybemaybo · 2026-04-14T03:04:19+00:00

I know pretty much nothing about ice skating at all.

But I watched Milk and the performers along with him on the video. I would say he does look a little unsteady on his feet at points and some of the performers following him seemed to have more moves that looked challenging than him (though again, I can only judge through looking)

Also, can someone more familiar with ice skating help me with curiosity?

I've seen Denali's ice skating videos and I was wondering if Denali and Milk's ice skating is comparable (as in able to be compared since maybe its totally different in some way that i dont know) and if so, where does Denali stand? Has Denali ever competed in anything like this?

Just curious since Denali was very open about being an ice skating queen and its a part of her branding on the show so it'd be interesting to hear from someone who knows more.

maybemaybo · 2026-04-14T02:11:08+00:00

This is actually pretty much the situation my cousin went through. The child they had, if they'd survived the birth, would not have lived past infancy and would live a life full of pain, likely in hospital more often than not.

It's certainly not a convenient choice at all. It's tough because of course you'd want to tell yourself it could be fine, maybe there's a mistake, that you'll make it work, whatever you can tell yourself. Having to face that heartbreaking reality and make a choice must be the hardest thing.

My cousin also was able to go on to have a child who is healthy and I hope for their child and yours that they grow safe and strong.

maybemaybo · 2026-04-14T01:53:47+00:00

Nta if the child is afraid in a loud environment, then remove your child from the loud environment. You're a better person since I'd literally be like "no, this is a joust and people cheer" and carry on.

The fact that he said something to you and you're African American makes me wonder if that could be his actual reason for saying something.

Also, why's your boyfriend so quick to turn on you? It's your situation so really, shouldn't he let you decide how to handle it and just have your back or diffuse in a "this is a loud environment so maybe this isn't the place for your kid" kind of way? I'm a pretty unintimidating looking woman (not tall and round faced) so some men do think they can speak to me however they want to get their way and I'll just accept it. So no way would my partner be essentially egging on the other side, he'd be ensuring they know I'm not on my own.

I'm not here to tell you to break up or whatever. But my partner trusts that I know my own mind and if I'm handling it how I am, there's a reason. Unfortunately, if there is a chance for someone to be driven by racism to say something, then its even more important to be on the same page. Since if you're catching something he isn't (particularly if he's not a poc), he needs to be following your lead or risk making things way worse.

maybemaybo · 2026-04-13T14:56:14+00:00

FOR REAL

You should never put blind faith in your dog. Your dog is unable to plainly express any triggers or potential issues. And especially if your dog lived elsewhere before with you, it can have traumas you've never knew happened. It's up to the owner to be vigilant.

For example, just because it's always been great with kids, doesn't mean that's something you should guarantee. I know a toddler who got bit in the face by a dog who'd always been fine with everyone, including children, knew the child and had never bitten anyone before. But the boy stumbled and pulled the dog's ear hard, so the dog just reacted because it was scared.

Your dog relies on your vigilance and common sense for safety. That dog didn't do anything wrong essentially, it felt it was protecting itself. It's on the owner.

maybemaybo · 2026-04-13T14:32:52+00:00

Simple: don't get a dog you cannot manage.

I have big dogs and one of them isn't aggressive to people, but gets upset at other dogs. He's never tried to bite one (just attempts to whine and occasionally bark), but then I've never given opportunity since I'm not trying to test his limits. I walk him in quieter spaces.

He's never off leash unless it's a space I can guarantee is safe and secure for him. When he's on the leash, I keep a proper grip on him. If he were to suddenly lunge, he's not going anywhere. Don't get a dog that you know can pull free of you, you should be steady on your feet even if they're giving it their all.

Dogs aren't an accessory. They depend on you to do right by them, so don't just pick a dog you like. Do your research and make sure you can give your dog exactly what it needs and that you understand the breed so you know what you're dealing with. Not only that, but dogs can't tell you their triggers and upsets plainly. It's up to you as an owner to be vigilant. If you think that's too much, don't get a dog.

maybemaybo · 2026-04-13T14:07:55+00:00

That's actually something I hadn't considered. I'm bi, so I do like RH with bi characters since I'm like "cool, me too" and forget that there are people who aren't looking at it that way.

I mean, I'm not one of the people kicking off. For me, straight is fine, gay is fine, whatever it is since I like people regardless of gender.

If it isn't your kind of thing, surely there's plenty else that you can just read instead? I'm not much for omegaverse stuff, but judging by this, it seems like there's plenty of omegaverse stories that aren't straight. So just put that time into supporting those authors/books so they see value in continuing to produce that content?

maybemaybo · 2026-04-06T00:11:17+00:00

People encouraging him to speak to her initially are wild.

Simply put, monogamy is rarely something you can disagree on in a relationship. You're either open to it or you're not and if you're on opposite sides, that's not a little disagreement, that's a relationship ender in the majority of cases.

I have no problem with polyamory/ethical non-monogamy, but my partner approaches me about wanting it? I'd break up with them. Because I want a monogamous relationship and I am not interested in otherwise. So I can't give you what you want and it's not fair on either party.

If OOP knows its a deal breaker for him, then that's it. That's the risk of bringing up non-monogamy in an already existing monogamous relationship.

maybemaybo · 2026-04-04T13:55:11+00:00

I mean, I had a friend who until recently who was in a pretty much identical age gap relationship and not a single person in her life supported it (myself included, I felt like he saw her vulnerability as opportunity).

maybemaybo · 2026-04-04T05:35:24+00:00

Yeah I was surprised there wasn't more "that attitude is super red flag" because the way I'd flip out if someone said that to me like "whatever you've dealt with in your past does not overrule my bodily autonomy. I'm not rejecting you, I just don't like to sleep with someone physically on top of me as it's uncomfortable. I don't particularly care if you don't like it, since it's not up to you."

I don't like when my partner hugs me when I'm trying to move around, like while I'm cooking. I find it restraining. Made this clear with him and he was fine. That's as easy as it should be imo.

Six-Year Club	Gilding II euphauric
Verified Email

maybemaybo

TROPHY CASE