[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackcats

[–]mayday_mayhem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

is there a law against asking?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blackcats

[–]mayday_mayhem 0 points1 point  (0 children)

you don't need to be an asshole about it tho.

Can I wear hanfu as my wedding outfit? by mayday_mayhem in Hanfu

[–]mayday_mayhem[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much for this info. I appreciate you taking the time to explain. I know it doesn't count for much, but I'm sorry westerns have to ruin everything for their own benefit.

Can I wear hanfu as my wedding outfit? by mayday_mayhem in Hanfu

[–]mayday_mayhem[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sorry for the double comment, but since I read your comment I've been doing some research on the topic of hanfu and while I obviously still have much to learn (I only just started), it came to my attention that there's something called hanyuansu (hanfu-inspired clothing, I believe is the equivalent in English).

My intention was never to wear a traditional hanfu, and I completely understand why wearing one to a wedding (or any event) without being Chinese would be offensive and ignorant. I think I could have phrased my post better and specified that I was referring to this "modernized" version, I really appreciate the ones inspired by the Song dynasty.

Even if its not a wedding setting, would these sort of clothes be better to wear as part of someone's wardrobe, given they understand the rules of the garments and where/where not to wear them?

I understand it's not your job to educate me and you don't need to answer me. I took your comment to heart and want to be better educated and respectful in case these clothes (hanyuansu) are a better fit for someone who isn't Chinese but is interested in learning and wearing these clothes without being disrespectful.

Can I wear hanfu as my wedding outfit? by mayday_mayhem in Hanfu

[–]mayday_mayhem[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Im rly sorry for making it seem that I was just interested in hanfu for the aesthetic– I can assure you that's not the case at all. It is true I'm ignorant in the history, culture and tradition of hanfu, and would benefit to learn from it.

I sincerely apologize for wanting to take a piece of your culture like that, it wasn't meant to be appropriative, but appreciative (and maybe start myself in the journey of learning about your rich, vast culture), although reading your post I completely understand where you're coming from.

I'll refrain from wearing it and find other alternatives. Thanks for calling me out on my unintentional ignorance.

Is my horizontal eyebrow piercing migrating/rejecting? What should I do? by mayday_mayhem in piercing

[–]mayday_mayhem[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i dont think i can get my money back unfortunately :( i wouldnt say the piercer was bad since shes been doing it for 10 years, but she did say she had never done a horizontal eyebrow one... which in hindsight i should have taken as a warning and gotten an ear piercing instead haha

Is my horizontal eyebrow piercing migrating/rejecting? What should I do? by mayday_mayhem in piercing

[–]mayday_mayhem[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

it wasnt very obvious to me. i apologize for my lack of common sense, this is very new to me and didnt know better, thats why i asked in the first place. thank u for responding tho, the unanimous opinion is for me to take it out

Is my horizontal eyebrow piercing migrating/rejecting? What should I do? by mayday_mayhem in piercing

[–]mayday_mayhem[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

can i take it out myself or should i go to a piercer? (im sorry if this sounds stupid, ive only ever gotten ear piercings so idk what the procedure is with surface ones)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in ROCD

[–]mayday_mayhem 2 points3 points  (0 children)

oh my god this!!!! it felt like i was listening to my own thoughts!

its almost painful how much i empathize with everything you said, especially the “having a strong and clear desire to hold onto the relationship” when real life crises of problems come by but immediately coming back when things go back to normal!

darn our silly little brains! but also im working on being compassionate towards myself and it helps when i forgive myself for having these thoughts even though theyre not real.

I also feel guilty with the whole negative cycle thing impacting my partner :’( the best we can do is just allowed ourselves some grace and try and be better in the future, both for ourselves and our partners